“There’s a cycle path there, why don’t you use it?”

Shouted by a fat bloke in a faux-by-4 this morning.

“Because it’s shit”* was the best I could muster whilst in earshot.

Better would have been:

“You’re in a 4×4, why do you use the road?”
“Why don’t you use a gym?”

*the usual pavement covered in leaf litter, lamposts and gives way at every junction and roundabout whilst starting and stopping at random. Fine for a pootle, not so great if you actually want to get anywhere.

I once tried ‘Same reason I don’t pay for sex’ in reply. Sadly didn’t hear the response.

“Bike Wan##r!!!”

Which part of your 24.6 mile ride at 08:17 was that on?

#StravaStalker

thisisnotaspoon – Member

“There’s a cycle path there, why don’t you use it?”

You should have replied –

“I know, and I don’t even pay road tax!!”

“But I’d have had to slow down” – given as a justification to pass really dangerously when hanging back literally a second or two (was passing a parked car with the road totally clear ahead) would have enabled the manoevre manuevre manoeuver move to be completed safely for us all.

SMIDSY

Which part of your 24.6 mile ride at 08:17 was that on?

#StravaStalker

Stalking via the STW group?

Nine Mile ride on the approach to the Golden Retriever.

SMIDSY

Probably your own fault for “coming out of nowhere.”

Someone shouted “Dinosaur ” at me on my road bike last week. No idea!!

Stalking via the STW group?

Guilty as charged!

Someone shouted “Dinosaur ” at me on my road bike last week. No idea!!

Maybe looked like you had some sort of a saurass

Probably your own fault for “coming out of nowhere.”

And not having a bell.

Dantsw13 earlier today

Oh yeah, a couple of years ago some angry driver was incensed that I had the temerity to ride correctly around a roundabout, making him wait rather than stopping in the middle of it and letting him pull in front of me.

Obviously reaching into the dark recesses of what passed for a brain, he managed to yell out what he considered to be the worst insult he had.

Still not sure how cycling round a roundabout provides evidence that someone is a “PAEDOPHILE!!”

My best of all time – big bin lorry clips me –
me: You hit me back there.
moron: No I didn’t.

You all ride the wrong way on the pavements whilst jumping red lights, without paying road tax and having no insurance instead of riding on the cycle path with no lights with no helmet on.

I think that covers all the anti cyclist bullshit bingo.

“…averages XXmpg, on a run.”

👿

Nine Mile ride

What were you doing on there? It’s an awful bit of road, I daren’t go on it. Either the woods or the housing estate for me. Or, in fact, the cycleway!

DezB – Member

My best of all time – big bin lorry clips me –
me: You hit me back there.
moron: No I didn’t.

Had similar.

“You pulled out in front of me”
“No I didn’t”
“I hit the back of your car”
“No you didn’t”
“Have a look, there’s now a huge dent in your boot”
“No there isn’t. Goodbye”
😕

What were you doing on there? It’s an awful bit of road, I daren’t go on it. Either the woods or the housing estate for me. Or, in fact, the cycleway!

It’s fine. I use the track through the woods on the MTB when riding to Swinley, but not really an option on the road bike. And it’s
miles from home to work so I’m not inclined to start meandering through Great Hollands adding more time!

The cycle path is pointless though. It doesn’t start until TRL, ends at the golden retriever (where you could go into the woods), I’m on the road from Finchampstead all the way up New Forest Drive.

I’m riding along an empty main road, driver at side turning sees me approaching and waits until I’m right on him then pulls out, forcing me to brake hard and swerve out of the way.

“Sorry mate but you were going too fast”

???

What so you thought you’d wait 30 seconds for me to approach then pull out the exact second I arrive, and that’s my fault because i’m going too fast?! How does that work? I’m still puzzled by what kind of thought process got him to that conclusion.

“I gave you plenty of room”
“Yes that why you were close
enough for me to kick your car!

Or
“You just kicked an £80 000 car”
Get out and I’ll **** kick you too

“Sorry mate but you were going too fast”

Similar, old bloke overtakes and left hooks me. Give him credit, he did stop when he heard me shout, but the exuse was “I didn’t realise how fast you were going”. Jeez

“If you’d moved over I could have squeezed past!!”

(my attempt to explain that I was riding in the middle / taking primary at a crossing island specifically so people didn’t ‘squeeze past’ at 40mph in a 2 tonne transit van didn’t seem to help)

Eurgh, I really shouldn’t get involved as it boils my pi$$.. however in the spirit of venting:

Me: (knocking on window at the next junction) Did you see me back there? You just pulled out on me and almost caused an accident. I had to slam my brakes on to avoid you
Driver: yes I did see you, I thought that you were going too fast!
Followed by..
Driver: my brother is a pro cyclist so I’m always really careful around cyclists
Me: clearly not, you were lucky you didn’t put me in hospital. Use your brain next time

Ahh, where to start?? Flattering to imply that I might have been going over 30mph, then statements of care that fly in the wind of recent evidence whilst invoking the cyclist relation get out of jail free card. Not that I was squeaky clean, insulting someone’s intelligence is rarely a constructive course no matter how accurate.

Aaand relax.

“I’m a cyclist too”

No you’re **** not, you fat inconsiderate ****.

After being deliberately forced off the road by a van driver:

Him: You were slowing me down (I was doing well over 30mph down a hill coming to a tight right bend that was *just* into a national speed limit).

Me: You could have killed me – didn’t you hear me hammering the side of your van?

Him: Yes. You were in my way.

Me: (Punches him square in the face).

these things rarely end well, but this one did. Family of Dutch tourists close-passed me and a couple of kms later I caught them stopped at a light. Tapped on the window, Dad winds it down but won’t look at me, just glares out the windscreen, so I speak to Mum.
“Hi, having a good holiday?”
“oh yes thank you”
“I just wanted to tell you there’s a 1.5m minimum passing distance here in the Basque Country. You passed me a little close back there, and I wouldn’t want you to have any problems with the police”
“that’s interesting, we hadn’t noticed. Thanks for letting us now” (Dad still fuming)
“No problem, hope you enjoy the rest of your stay!”
When they passed me again a bit further down the road they left me about 10m!

I was told I was speeding on a flat 40-limit road by some dozy **** – I’ll take that 8)

I was offered chicken wings on my ride home from work on Wednesday. This was from the passenger in a car rather than its driver. I was offered the chicken wings whenever I caught up with the car or the car caught up with me. The passenger had a KFC bag so the offer may have been genuine. It may have been intended as motivation, “keep pedalling and I’ll reward you with a chicken wing!”

Road tax, are drivers so stupid that they don’t realise you can buy a car such as a Nissan Leaf that is 0 rated!!!!!

“You’re upsetting my children” – not strictly speaking the driver, I think it came from the wife of the driver who got all angry and stepped out of the car to confront me (therefore upsetting his own kids in the process).

Get on the **** footpath. 😆
On another occasion some kind of grunting noises while waving a hammer in my direction. At almost 50 I shouldn’t be rolling around in the gutter fighting a man with a hammer but he tipped me over the edge. 😳

mrmo – Member

Road tax, are drivers so stupid that they don’t realise you can buy a car such as a Nissan Leaf that is 0 rated!!!!!

Or one of these

are drivers so stupid…

you need to ask?

For those in the Glasgow/Ed area, i was riding home from Glasgow to Ed and up on the Falkirk moors a ned car came up behind me, passenger wound window (windae?) down and asked me if I wanted to buy any drugs ! I declined and he wished me a good ride and they headed off down the road. Quite, quite bizarre.

Maybe he mistook you for Lance Armstrong

I was once called a fat barsteward by a chap in a car after I complained about his driving. My BMI is around 24. His must have been over 30. that made me laugh

after being stopped by a car because i was apparently on the wrong side when i took up the right hand position in a road to turn left – he insisted I should be by the kerb for reasons unknown. I gently explained the highway code – for he was very angry driver behind had also stopped as he did force me to stop. Anyway after a few minutes of increasingly angry and illogical ranting [for once the driver not me] he said

“I’m a cyclist too”
Me ” what bike have you got?”

Him Emphatically shouting ” A blue one!”

My laughter did not calm the situation.

I was reversing (in my car) into a parking space yesterday, person tries to steal the space by driving into the same space forwards.

I keep going (slowly) on the basis that the towbar attached to my somewhat scruffy 7 year old Skoda will come off better than the front of his nearly new A3 if there is any actual contact.

He winds down his window and shouts “****ing cyclist” at me before driving off.

I assume he must have seen the Tour de Yorkshire in my rear window.