Or another favourite – “my boss is getting this problem with your product, can you have a look?”
“Of course, no problem – can I dial into their PC?”
“Not just now, they’re with someone”
Which begs the question – roughly what made you think now would be a good time to call?

People most often ask ‘What’s it like to shove your hand up a cows arse?’

My reply of ‘Warm’ seems to flummox most of them.

My email to them
“Could you please forward the license file to myself.”
The reply, via email:

“No, we can’t, only you can send something to yourself”.

“Can you do overtime? ”

“Not a problem, but give me a fighting chance and tell me the error, hey?”

“Oh, I just pressed Ok to get rid of it, I don’t understand all that technical rubbish.”

Well, a) you don’t have to understand it, that’s what they pay me for, you just have to read it; you can read, can’t you? And, b), thanks for calling my work ‘nonsense’ (or far worse).

roughly what made you think now would be a good time to call?

*Logs a call*

*Leaves for lunch*

– at least one person a week.

…a phased plasma rifle in the 40 watt range ?

I nearly always answer – Hey, pal, just what you see! Unless it’s a woman, then it’s generally lady in place of pal.

You always get ’em, though…