Viewing 40 posts - 1 through 40 (of 43 total)
  • Stuff your Mum (in law) says
  • kimbers
    Full Member

    Mother-in-law at breakfast today..I need some ideas for bisexual toys,
    Me and Wife -whaaaaatt??
    MIL- for the baby
    Me and Wife- ?
    MIL- for your brothers baby we dont know the sex yet
    Wife- Mum, I think you mean unisex toys

    toxicsoks
    Free Member

    “He’s got that prostRate cancer”……………oh, Mother

    neilsonwheels
    Free Member

    “if I were 20 years younger”. 😯

    singlecrack
    Free Member

    GET OFF MY DAUGHTER………

    unfitgeezer
    Free Member

    Stuff your Mum (in law) says

    What doesn’t she say !!

    project
    Free Member

    I need some ideas for bisexual toys,

    Cross dressing Action Man,

    northernmatt
    Full Member

    This is said usually while absolutely bladdered from consuming the best part of a bottle and a bit of wine

    “I’ve only had one glass”

    It is only one glass, you just keep putting more wine in it you dozy mare.

    edlong
    Free Member

    They’re lovely people, but…

    … I’m not being racist…..

    ..the problem with them is. ..

    TheBrick
    Free Member

    After my partner went to Church with her mother to keep her company.

    “No one believes in God all the time. When I’m in the casio and loosing I think there can be no god, when I’m winning I believe.”

    tymbian
    Free Member

    Whilst loading the car up for a week in Wales.: MiL says scorning ” you’re not taking your bike are you?”

    ads678
    Full Member

    My mother in law just talks…….all the time……….please just shut up for a bit……………

    DezB
    Free Member

    After I injured my back in a bike accident, to help lift my spirits… ” Oh, that’ll play you up for the rest of your life”. Yeah, cheers!

    choppersquad
    Free Member

    “Bubble bubble toil and trouble” …usually.
    Not saying she’s a witch or anything…

    joat
    Full Member

    Whilst loading the car up for a week in Wales.: MiL says scorning ” you’re not taking your bike are you?”

    No: bikeS

    vickypea
    Free Member

    My ex mother in law disapproved of me going mountain biking and used to say “exercise is bad for you, it’s not good for your heart”

    wiggles
    Free Member

    Never had to meet mine, Mrs from a dysfunctional family ftw

    tomaso
    Free Member

    In all honesty

    Whatsaname

    But mostly she just doesn’t shut or ever be wrong.

    stewartc
    Free Member

    I have no idea what my MiL is saying most of the time as she doesn’t speak English and my Cantonese is a bit limited, perfect!

    rickon
    Free Member

    My soon to be MIL looking at my fiancé’s jumper intently….

    MIL: “Why does your top say ANAL?’

    fiancé: “Mother, it says ‘Animal'”.

    jimmers
    Free Member

    Referring to sis-in-law going for long walks with the dog…”she’s been fornicating with her dog again”

    Eating something spicy…”hmmm this has bit of a snatch”

    ourmaninthenorth
    Full Member

    My ex mother in law disapproved of me going mountain biking and used to say “exercise is bad for you, it’s not good for your heart”

    She’s not altogether wrong in a minority of cases.

    My MIL is wonderful in many ways, but her inability to express herself properly is, er, thingy.

    bencooper
    Free Member

    My MIL invites me along on mine-exploring trips and steam train rides – she’s pretty unconventional.

    beagle
    Free Member

    Would you like your Singletrack subscription for Christmas again?

    Yay for Sally!

    redsox
    Free Member

    MIL is fine if a little ditzy sonetimes

    Mother on the other hand? Batshit mental and a destructive force from which there is no escape

    hjghg5
    Free Member

    My mum “apparently [insert random rant or story about cancer]…”
    Me “was this in the daily mail?”
    My mum “yes…”

    kcal
    Full Member

    Too many to choose from. But.

    “It’s a Catch 42 situation”

    “They don’t make Size 18s like they used to”

    slowjo
    Free Member

    Rather along the lines of the OP. My almost MiL (I escaped from that entanglement more or less unscathed) hit the roof when we were talking about some friends coming over to see us. He was a suit but she was a bilingual secretary.

    ‘You’re not having one of THOSE people in your house are you? Disgusting etc’

    Not sure if she was upset about the suit or the supposed sexual preferences of someone who could speak English and French fluently.

    dannybgoode
    Full Member

    Can we include grans here. I had the Red Dwarf t-shirt with the ‘Campaign the for the Liberation and Integration of Terrifying Organisms and their Rehabilitation Into Society’ on it.

    My granddad (crossword buff) got the clitoris bit to which my gran said ‘I am not sure I know what a clitoris is. Great dinner time conversation ensued.

    rocketman
    Free Member

    My mother-in-law regards me with some trepidation she is careful about what she says when I’m around.

    Bike-related comments are usually along the lines of “What’s wrong with your old one” or “why do you need more than one”

    Generally she is OK though, especially when she’s had a few drinks!

    bikebouy
    Free Member

    Ahh ha.. MrsBouy’s Mother:

    “when I go into Leeds, it’s always full of those ethnic types”

    😯

    hooli
    Full Member

    Mother in law is scottish so I dont understand a word she says but when my kids have been for a sleep over they talk funny for a day or 2 😆

    Ro5ey
    Free Member

    That white is black and black is white … the argumentative… no that’s not the right word, as it has implications of intellect …. the stupid cow.

    She’ll give you her opposite option of yours at everything…. “Arrrh, look at that baby robin. Isn’t it nice?” “Never been a fan of robins” You don’t like Robins?” “Nah”

    She does it out of nothing more than habit and wanting to be the centre of attention …. Weird.

    boxfish
    Free Member

    With my MiL, it’s the repetition. Her short-term memory is not great due to the painkillers, anti-depressants and alcohol…

    zokes
    Free Member

    That white is black and black is white … the argumentative… no that’s not the right word, as it has implications of intellect …. the stupid cow.

    She’ll give you her opposite option of yours at everything….

    You mother in law is Fred, and I claim my five pounds

    thehustler
    Free Member

    I can win this……

    My MiL told me to ‘f@ck off and die’ (apologise swear filter mods)

    there is an upside, she hasn’t set foot in my house since……….and I dont even have to pretend to be nice to her anymore.

    andyfla
    Free Member

    Just after mrs fla had miscarried the Mil came out with “at least you didn’t carry it to term like I did”, so helpful, made us fell much better.
    She can see the grey lining in every silver cloud.

    coolhandluke
    Free Member

    “whats wrong”, every time Mrs coolhandluke calls here, in a tone to suggest she knows something is seriously seriously wrong and she’s bee worrying herself silly.

    She told us she didn’t like town centers in case somebody stabbed her with an Aids infected needle. Yes, i know its possible but is it likely?

    Her glass is never half full, its rarely half empty its usually totally empty, talk about depressing!

    Pigface
    Free Member

    All women turn into their mothers 😉

    DezB
    Free Member

    You mother in law is Fred

    Is this some kind of weird obsession? The fella hasn’t been on this site (as Fred) for years!

    tinybits
    Free Member

    you’re in denial – you’re Fred

    Burn him!

Viewing 40 posts - 1 through 40 (of 43 total)

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