Having paid off my loan last month, I thought that would be finally the end of my dealings with these muppets. It seems, however, that this hope was premature:

Dear Dr Zokes,

We have been advised by your bank that your current direct debit instruction to repay your student loan is invalid……

…. Yours sincerely, Kevin O’Connor.

It’s a pity they don’t have an email address, because the below is my hard-considered response:

Dear Kevin,

You were advised by me on 20th January that I would be deleting my direct debit instruction as I had completed repayment of my student loan on that date. Whilst I appreciate that you must compete with the DVLA to be the most incompetent and inept organisation (and I use the term loosely) in the country, I would have thought that you might have worked out that I don’t need a direct debit instruction with you if I do not owe you any money.

Hugs and kisses,

Mark

Are they always this clueless, or do they just save it up for me?

Nope it’s not just you. They’ve been consistently useless with me too.
Now that my loan has been sold to someone else I’m somewhat nervous. Not that SLC told me, I found out here.

I may be talking out of my arse here but bear with me….

IIRC you keep paying until the end of the current finacial year, then get a refund for the over payment. Great if you finish paying in March, not great if it’s the end of April.

And good luck with any refunds.

But that could be bollocks.

I’m overseas so not paying through PAYE. I was damn sure they weren’t getting a penny more than I owed.

That, and I had confirmation that they had taken my final payment.

Be worth asking about though. In, perhaps, a little less sarcastic tone.

No need. I’ve paid it all. They can whistle.

Might be fun to see how it plays out if you ignore them.

IIRC you keep paying until the end of the current finacial year, then get a refund for the over payment.

When you get close to paying off your loan they ask you to switch to direct debit to avoid that scenario.

It’s only if you’re still on PAYE deductions that you end up having to wait until after the tax year end.

Might be fun to see how it plays out if you ignore them.

Hopefully they’ll pass it on to their collections department (who do have an email), then I can send them the above. I’m not paying $2 to send them a letter, and have better things to do with my life than wait half an hour being told that my call is important to them.

In, perhaps, a little less sarcastic tone.

Why? I have to deal with their ineptitude, the least they can do is have a sense of humour.

I heard lots of horror stories about the final amount being recalculated and messed up and things taking months and potentially years to finally reach a balance of zero through what appeared to be a poor iterative method!

I was most surprised and pleased when my final direct debits came out on the month that I predicted and for the amounts which I had calculated too, so that’s one example of them not screwing up!

Cheers, Rich

Alternatively, you got a standard automated letter which, while irritating, could be sorted out with a (polite) phone call?

Why? I have to deal with their ineptitude, the least they can do is have a sense of humour.

When someone tells me I’m shit, with no apparent justification, I tend not to have a sense of humour about it and also tend not to be as helpful as physically possible

Alternatively, you got a standard automated letter which, while irritating, could be sorted out with a (polite) phone call?

An international phone call with 30 minutes of being on hold. No ta. Their mess, they sort it.

Or, they provide an email address, and it gets sorted in 10 minutes.

You have better things to do with your life than deal with the SLC, such as moaning about the SLC online?

When you get close to paying off your loan they ask you to switch to direct debit to avoid that scenario.

Appart from the are a bunch of complete cretins so they may fail to send you that letter (and instead send you lots of letters telling you that they have been told by HMRC that you are unemployed, despite having had the same job for 7 years and HMRC doing nothing of the sort).

If you think you are within 2 years of completing payment it makes sense to give them a call (navigate their infuriating “roll 6 to start” telephone system) and set up the direct debit. I’d not fancy being in a scenario where they owe you money, given how incompetant they are when you owe it to them.

You have better things to do with your life than deal with the SLC, such as moaning about the SLC online?

Whilst I accept that it’s not that entertaining, it’s infinitely more amusing than dealing with them over a loan I no longer have.

Thankfully, the internet is an informative place…

http://www.heiinfo.slc.co.uk/media/278469/repayments__compatibility_mode_.pdf

(last slide)

I hope he likes his hugs and kisses

Reading this takes me back. My final year was the first to get student loans and back then we certainly had the idea of it being `free money’ and we’d pay it back when we felt like it if they caught up with us. There again the loan was only for about £6.45 in those days. Todays amounts are mind boggling.

They are incompetent by design, I don’t think I had a single deferrment go through correctly, and oh what a surprise, every time there was a delay there was a charge. While speaking to one of the complaint handlers he said “Fax me the documents right now, to this number, I’ll stand by the fax to get them- otherwise, it’ll go in the bin even with my name on it”. Stuff like this all designed to make it hard to stop them taking your money and hard to take it back.

There’s always been an urban myth (?) perennially doing the rounds in every student bar about not having to repay it if you’re out of the country for seven years. Anyone know anything about this?

I always assumed people were talking about a ‘statute barred’ debt (being unenforceable after six years), but I think Student Loans are exempt from this.

There’s always been an urban myth (?) perennially doing the rounds in every student bar about not having to repay it if you’re out of the country for seven years. Anyone know anything about this?

again iirc, it’s 5 years, and you have to renounce citizenship.

I’m sure I read it somewhere before I went to uni (11 years ago), but always thought it was rubbish but was confirmed to me a couple of weeks ago. I’m still not sure.

it’s 5 years, and you have to renounce citizenship.

Sweeet! Can I do that online?

Dunno, but I guess if you did it tomorrow youd still have to pay for 5 years and, again I assume, you would have to have another country lined up to take you? I also think it takes more than just a few clicks to tell blighty (and all the protection/nice things that offers) to do one!

All for not having having a debt you dont have to pay back unless you can afford to and (if you are just starting now) probably never will.

Yah, just an idea.

But I suppose I could then emigrate back to the UK after chilling on a beach for five years?

Pretty sure they’d be wise to that ie, once you are out you are out for (double digit) years/forever.

I considered that exact scenario myself 😉 no point now though as it’ll be paid off in 3 years!

I cleared mine off last month. About 6 months before I called them up and got taken off PAYE and put onto direct debit. They worked out what was still due and set up direct debits to pay it off over a few months. The DD ended when they said it would, can’t really fault the service dealing with them.

What happens if you live abroad and just never bother contacting them?

Had a student loan in 2005, pretty sure I’ve made about 12 months worth of payments in the intervening years, pretty much sums up how useful my university education has been to me….

I

cleared mine off last month. About 6 months before I called them up and got taken off PAYE and put onto direct debit. They worked out what was still due and set up direct debits to pay it off over a few months. The DD ended when they said it would, can’t really fault the service dealing with them.

This. I realised that after April I’d have £9.50 left, they’ve cancelled my PAYE payments and I can pay it off in 1 go.
That’s sorted my race entry fees for the summer. TBH they’ve been fine whenever I’ve spoken to them, the money has been flowing out of my pay since I took the loans out 😯

What happens if you live abroad and just never bother contacting them?

They’ll track you down eventualy. Its a debt owned by a private company youll probably owe 10’s of thousands of pounds to, you dont pay it back, they wont be making profit. They also add on the costs of tracking you down and court costs etc.

The systems set up that you’d have to cut off your nose to spite your face to deliberately avoid paying it back.

What happens if you live abroad and just never bother contacting them?

Like any other debt really. If you never return to the uk system you might get away with it, or you might not if they do bother searching internationally and are in another country’s system I.e. Paying taxes / registered to vote etc.

Needless to say, if you abscond and they do find you, the small print will mean you owe them a damn sight more.

Anyway, it’s morning here now so I’d better send Kevin O’connor his hugs and kisses…