Given the fact that i am very over weight i often get the local chavs yelling the usual fat related abuse from their vauxhall corsa/nova or what ever the swilly defence regiment uses these days, i just cary on end enjoy the ride.

Simon

“You dont ride in the kerb you are a bad cycilst”…
It’s very hard to get me speechless… This one did

also once on my local, riding up to a group who were resting on a fleet of tricked out 6″ bouncers in baggies and pisspots. shouted ‘hardtail alert!’ and whizzed off down the hill before id even had a chance to say hello. in my mind they were scarred of my obvious prowess and had to run with their 6″ coils between their legs. more likely i would have got in the way. either way ‘tossers’ wasnt far from my lips..

Grovelling up a climb a few years back I had a white van man lean out of the window and bellow ‘Go on Lance!’ at me. I was quite chuffed, but I don’t think I looked quite as comfortable as a multiple TdF winner at the time …

… on the other side of the coin, a skip wagon driver hailed me with ‘people get killed on this road’ as he did his damnedest to swerve and run me over. Only problem I’ve had on that stretch in 3 years daily use …

On a group ride, 16 of us I think, we had to go through a rather jolly Leeds sink estate called Middleton in order to link up the ride. 3 chavs were sat on a sofa, in a front garden, surrounded by broken fridges/cookers etc. One of them gets unsteadily to his feet, taking care not to spill his can of Fosters or knock the ash off his ciggie, walks to the edge of the wall-less/hedgeless garden and yells ‘Look at ’em on their fookin’ bikes! Gerra life!’
Er, we’ve got one thanks, how about you?

I get often get ‘your wheels are going around’ which is odd

I’ve had “Your back wheel’s chasing you”

Had various kids shout ‘sic’ as there are some nice manual-able road sections
that keep me entertained on my ride home.

Thats usually followed by ‘how much is you bike worth’

Daisy, Daisy, give me your answer do
I’m half crazy all for the love of you
It won’t be a stylish marriage
I can’t afford a carriage
But you’ll look sweet upon the seat
Of a bicycle built for two

Thats not the version i know!

On one of my epic all dayers last summer, someone in a group i passed on numerous occasions said i must be very fit…and continued you look very fit..then winked….

He was only about 20yrs old 😯

Riding through a lovely (ahem) estate to get to my local spot, a kid about 4 or 5 years old threw a stone, just landed short of me, but perfectly on target. Looked like his parents were behind, I asked them if that was their son. The reply was:

“Yes it f*****g is, he’s not a c**t like you!” followed by a swill on his beer can.

ah middleton, the finest estate in Leeds. My favourite statement riding in miggy woods would have to be “your bikes gay” followed by his mate exciteably asking “can have a ride off of it?” had to snigger!

“Luddite”

Which is fair enough, tbh.

A few months ago I was cycling to work on a quiet country road, which had a slight incline but there was a slight tail wind. I heard a car coming up behind me… plenty of room to overtake and its a long straight road with good visibility but the car stays behind me for about 30 seconds. Then it pulls along side, the passenger window goes does and a big, fat, bearded bloke (think Ricky Tomlinson in the Royle Family) shouts …
“Ya doin’ 25 mph… thats really good!”

I was so shocked I nearly fell off.

A group of young girls in a Corsa were leaning out of the windows and shouting ‘ You look fantastic!’ and wolf whistling whilst I was out in my full lycra leggings on my road bike.

I don’t care what my wife says – they were NOT being sarcastic 😆

All the usual w*nker hand signs etc plus “Where`s yer kilt!” screamed from a minibus carrying Rangers fans to the Eufa cup final in Manchester last year! 😯

My favourite one was from a very tasty young lady from the passenger seat of a passing car who told me I had “a very nice bum”! 😀

i got a puncture on the ride home and had to walk the last mile and a bit cos i had no tools etc. on me. was wearing full lycra shorts and top, had to walk through a group of local scallies who “hilariously” “pretended” to try to grab my bike off me, while pointing out how nice it looked and how “gay” i looked. 😆

“wrong way dickhead” …. its the last time he will say that to anyone , believe me .

why, do you only go the right way these days?

“fast”, occasionally “fit”. And this one time? at Mountain Mayhem? Some hilarious spectator shouts “I thought black was supposed to be a slimming colour!” I was soloing and utterly on my chinstrap, too out of breath to retort. And he was right, I am a fat git.

Riding out of Wharncliffe last summer a bunch of local kids swa us and started chanting this following snippet of bizzarreness:

“XC Bum Me, XC Bum Me!”

Whatever they meant by that I don’t know.

On the road bike dressed in lycra – “Like your gimp suit mate!”

Local ‘yoofs’ loitering around the bandstand – one shouts….

“Oi bike-ist”

I get ‘Wanna sell your bike mate?’ quite a lot, and have had ‘You’ve shat yourself mate’ (muddy after Epping Forest), ‘You’ve lost your wheels mate’ (carrying a frame home) and best of all ‘Your bike’s f*kin PENG, bruv!’ (coz it is 😀 ).

I’ve had ‘Gerroff and milk it’

and ‘Oooh Fit AND handsome’

Actually I just made that second one up.

“You’re a bit chunky for a cyclist” – from a 50 something female duathlete who rode with me on a Matlock CC social ride a couple of years (and about 20lbs) ago.

we used to shout “get off and milk” as kids it too!

never really knew why – but it was the 70’s and cowhorn bars were in

I got “ooooh that one’s a GIRL” a few years ago, made me chuckle

You sure that one was aimed at you, mrsflash, and not at the ginger one?

I regularly get ‘gears are for queers’ when riding past the local bmx and skate park, take great delight in deliberately riding my SS past them now

how comes i get banned for swearing even though the thread clearly stated whats the strangest thing you have been called on BIKE I STATED WHAT I HAVE BEEN CALLED AND GOT BANNED! ITS ALL JUST BULL EVERYONE ELSE SWEARS NOT JUST ME

You sure that one was aimed at you, mrsflash, and not at the ginger one?

maybe! 🙂

On the road bike one evening the other week, out of the saddle hammering up the Crow Road (a nice gradual climb into the Campsies) as hard as I could, a car with two young women in it comes alongside me – the passenger puts the window down and says “check your LEGS!!”

Best ride ever.

Get called all sorts on the commute, from the unintentionally-complimentary (haw LANCE!) to the say-what-you-see (uhh BIKE!!)

Since seeing the Inbetweeners last week I’ve been tempted on several occasions to shout “bus w@nkers!” at bams waiting on buses.

“bus w@nkers!”

LOL, Quality!

bus **** – lol

“sexy bloke”

oh sorry, that was a dream :o)

Daisy, Daisy, give me your answer do

as popularised by a well known psychopathic spaceship computer…

the thing i like least about my 4 year-old Scott Genius is the rather in-your-face logos all over it. It is gopping to look at. Nevertheless, riding past the skateramp near newnham park after a nightride, accompanied by several thousand pounds worth of posh new enduros and epics underneath my more financially solvent friends, the kids hanging round gave me a “nice bike mate, oooooh, its a Scott!”.

got berated by an oap walking along the shopshire union canal for making her elderly dog jump…

“you should have a bell! my dog’s deaf you know!”

“how is it going to hear my bell then?”

I’ve had “yours wheels are going around” shouted at me by a bus stop full of chavs ! the girl who said it looked very pleased with herself. Until a replyed so is your mother ! her laughing face dropped, an all her buddys laughed very loud ! he he

“Indurain” in the basque country of all things 😀 I was marginally skinnier, but no more healthy/fast/capable.

The crowd was very, very drunk.

I’ve always cheered on the euskatel euskaidi boys ever since.

when i was doing a little bit of downhill, i was wearing my full face helmet as a local chav wiv his teenage mates said “oi, this thing will stop you from falling.” i replied puzzled “it wont actually stop me falling mate, it will stop me getting a face like your.” i cycled very quickly away after this!

Riding home from work today just before 6, a p***ed bloke holding a can of Stella called me a “stupid f***ing stupid man”.