This morning, according to mrs. S , I said “so you’re telling me you pooed a poppadom?” whilst sound asleep. What gems have you or yours come out with whilst akip?

As a child (7 or 8 ) I appeared late one night at the kitchen door and calmly announced to my mother that there was “a Chinaman in my room”. “Really?’ was the reply, to which I turned around and went back to bed.

Christmas eve ‘I love you Helen’ my lady’s name is vicki!

Apparently I’ve had a half hour conversation whilst asleep including ‘everyone needs to get a ticket so we can go to russia’…why? ‘so we can race at innerleithen.’ could be worse, I tried to pee in the corner of the living room whilst sleepwalking when I was little…

Ive been known to talk about lawn mowers and dolphins

Dunno about talking but my wife had to fight me off once when I had my hands around her throat shouting about a burglar 😯

Apparently I was speaking latin last weekend. Ecce in pictura est un puella nominie Cornelia. Cornelia est sub arbore sedet…

Haven’t done latin since I was at high school.

tyredbiker – Member
I tried to pee in the corner of the living room whilst sleepwalking when I was little…

Pfft. I was successful at that when I was 37!

SPATULA!
Spaghetti bolognese!
And finally ‘you’re such a f…in vulture’ in reference to my gf swooping in for a kiss after me rolling over.

hahahah, gf was talking in her sleep a while back about the price of petrol!!!

price of petrol? must have been a nightmare…

oh – and I talk about all sorts of weird stuff in my sleep, apparently…

Rachel

Apparently had a conversation with a mate who wasn’t there, then when woken up and told about it I looked under the bed for him.

(Was quite drunk).

Woke myself up with a roaring, gutteral aaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrrrrrgggggggggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhh at about 2am one night last year. My other half (unsuprisingly) woke up as a result and started screaming… It took us about an hour to get back to sleep as we kept descending into fits of giggles afterwards.

Haven’t done it since, but I spend a lot of time on long haul flights, so am ever hopeful that one day I manage to do it again on a fully loaded 747 – should get people worried.

When I was a kid I was once woken up by my mum singing God save the Queen then at the end shouting “you stupid pillock” 😯

Christmas eve ‘I love you Helen’ my lady’s name is vicki!

OOOF!

My best one was “You can’t paint everything green!”

A while ago, I woke up to hear my sister going “Beep, beep, beep…” The following morning she claimed to have had a weird dream about being a lorry driver.

jojo “also in the picture was a pretty girl named Cornelia sitting under a tree” ? Do you normally dream in Latin?

What makes Cornelia pretty? The tree she is sitting beneath?

“Don’t forget to give warren a cream cake” 😕

Often strange things with no relevance to anything.
I once questioned ‘Why did the carrot break?’ I think I was having some strange lucid dream about the bit on the fellowship of the ring when they fall down a bank. But I couldn’t understand why my girlfriend had no idea what I was talking about. The questions did go on for a while.

Had another one when I went to wake my sister up who was staying with me. She had the cat on the bottom of the bed. And she kept asking me why there was a large pickled onion on the bottom of the bed. Turns out the pickled onion she was on about was in fact the cat.

“Oh Heidi! You lost the Ocelot!”.

She thought that quite bizarre.

my girlfriend told me once i told her…

I’m going to saw the calculated in half, she asked why, i replied to see where the number live!

i seem to think thats a mighty boosh line?

Jojoa1- puella sunt amicae?? Lol’d at that. Takes me back abot 22 years. Jebus!!

Mrs 10 tells me the only time I’ve spoken in my sleep was when I had climbed up on the bed and was frantically trying to escape the dumpster I dreamt was trapped in.

Even to this day she finds the amount of panic I was experiencing funny.

tyredbiker – Member
I tried to pee in the corner of the living room whilst sleepwalking when I was little…

My husband used to do that a lot when we moved into our house, he’d walk into the airing cupboard in the corner of the room and start pee’ing. He also wee’d all over the TV once too and had the nerve to shout at me to get out of the bathroom when I yelled at him.