A few months ago I knocked a couple of our wedding photos over and the glass in the frames smashed. Wasn’t in the mood for being moaned at so just knocked out the glass, taped the photos into the frame and put them back on the shelf. Wife has never noticed a thing. Today did the same with a photo of my first born. Have obviously come across a foolproof way of avoiding getting told off.

Anyone else got any deceptions they have been keeping up for some time? Or perhaps a ‘friend’ who has?

I have a friend who every year for nearly 15 years bought a new Ducati. As they were all red, and he shifted his private plate onto them at purchase, allegedly, she never noticed.

Wife put Christmas cake in glass fronted kitchen cupboard rather than in a tin so she could keep an eye on it so I wouldn’t keep eating it through November and December.

I merely ate the rear 1/3 that couldn’t be seen.

Mind you, I got one hell of a bollocking come Christmas Day.

😆

Go buy some glass and replace it before she notices and it will be the perfect crime.

(Actually given your apparent cackhandidness you might want to go for perspex)

It is kind of inspiring me to see what else I could get away with! Wonder if I could get away with selling some of her wardrobe that never gets worn?!

My dad used to eat the Ferrero Rocher at Christmas but put rolled up pieces of newspaper back in the tinfoil wrapping and put them back in the box.

Used to drive my mum up the wall, they were usually a present for her! 😀

dangerousbeans is my new role model! 😀

None of these things would have gone unnoticed in this house.

RIP mechanicaldope, late of this parish 😉

I didn’t get away with it and left the ‘incognito’ window open.

Things still quite frosty right now.

I heard a story that someone specced a high end road build, paid for it but wouldn’t take it away from the shop [name of shop redacted]. He asked the owner to send a letter explaining how he had won the bike in the shops prize draw.

The trouble is that I found this so funny I’ve told loads of people, and at some point it will get back…

Wife put Christmas cake in glass fronted kitchen cupboard rather than in a tin so she could keep an eye on it so I wouldn’t keep eating it through November and December.

I merely ate the rear 1/3 that couldn’t be seen.

Mind you, I got one hell of a bollocking come Christmas Day.

I’d’ve paid to see Debs’ face when she realised! 😆 😆

dangerousbeans – Member
Wife put Christmas cake in glass fronted kitchen cupboard rather than in a tin so she could keep an eye on it so I wouldn’t keep eating it through November and December.
I merely ate the rear 1/3 that couldn’t be seen.
Mind you, I got one hell of a bollocking come Christmas Day.

I have a new hero!

I heard a story that someone specced a high end road build, paid for it but wouldn’t take it away from the shop [name of shop redacted]. He asked the owner to send a letter explaining how he had won the bike in the shops prize draw.
The trouble is that I found this so funny I’ve told loads of people, and at some point it will get back…

Heard this about 3 different retailers 😆

I know of a couple of people who keep bikes in the shop store…

About 45% of my disposable income goes to a financial dominatrix. I keep showing my wife the same bike and pretending I’ve bought a new one.

😉

Wonder if I could get away with selling some of her wardrobe that never gets worn?!

thatd be a great result, id love to try that one. problem is shes a member on all the local facebook ‘for sale’ sites and would probably end up buying them all off me 😕

MrsDummy spotted instantly when I got rid of part of a huge stash of posh shopping bags she was keeping in case they came in handy.

You think they’ve got too much crap and clutter to keep track of, but it’s not true. Bilbo Baggins made the same mistake with Smaug the Magnificent.

🙂

Bilbo Baggins made the same mistake with Smaug the Magnificent.

That is a great analogy!

problem is shes a member on all the local facebook ‘for sale’ sites and would probably end up buying them all off me

Surely that’s a winner. She keeps the clothes, you get some cash.

Mrs Gti has an obsession about salt and she cooks everything without. Potatoes, pasta and vegetables cooked without salt are awful but after a few years you get used to it and restaurant food can taste horribly salty.

Anyway I used to keep a small pot of salt hidden in the kitchen and on the rare occasions when I was allowed the joy of cooking the dinner I would drop a bit into the pan. She would sit down, eat the meal and exclaim: “Isn’t it amazing how food cooked for you by somebody else always tastes so much better!”

I would be hugging myself with glee at my naughty subterfuge.

Then one day my salt stash disappeared. Just vanished. She must have found it, even right up on top of the highest cupboard.

Dangerousbeans wins the internet today. The guys a genius!

Not up to your levels of deception but i try. I blame the dog when ever i fart. Don’t think she suspects a thing, probably. 8)

Not up to your levels of deception but i try. I blame the dog when ever i fart. Don’t think she suspects a thing, probably.

Me too. We don’t have a dog though, which hampers the effectiveness of blaming it when I drop one.

I blame the dog when ever i fart. Don’t think she suspects a thing, probably.

Likewise with the cat, who helpfully fills in for me when I’m not there adding weight to the deception.

I merely ate the rear 1/3 that couldn’t be seen.

In our house, the Christmas cake is given a dose of brandy at weekly intervals, prior to marzipan and icing just before Christmas. No chance of me deploying your strategy.

I blame the dog when ever i fart.

I used to blame my son when he was a toddler. Trouble is I kept it going on for too long and he learnt from me – so now he blames me for his.

Some of you lot need to ask your wife if you can have your balls back 😉

Probably they are too busy giving them to your wife… 😉

Absolute genius from Dangerousbeans and Globalti.

*wonders how to sneak bacon into Veggie OH’s food* 😉

Honesty is the best policy, but I sudo and delete the logs.

dangerousbeans – Member
Wife put Christmas cake ………

I merely ate the rear 1/3 that couldn’t be seen.

You’re my new hero, I wish I had the balls to try that; pure genius

My wife thinks i’m the worlds greatest lover, but in reality i’d probably struggle to scrape into the top ten.

Farting / blaming the dog – I normally claim it’s a squeaky floorboard.

Or a passing duck.

Have obviously come across a foolproof way of avoiding getting told off.

You’d get told off for a simple accident which breaks something that’s easily replaceable? 😯

MoreCashThanDash – Member

Dangerousbeans wins the internet today from now till Christmas.
FIFY

Glad to bring a bit of happiness to some folk. 😀

Will admitting that I actually moved the shelf up to the higher holes in the cupboard to allow more illicit cake intake add to your enjoyment?

Many years ago my mate was busted by his now ex fiancé when she found some fairly specialist grumble on DVD which he had stashed away after “a friend” lent him it. Now my mate was a bit of a stickler for neatness, so this DVD was utterly unblemished when she found it. This chick was only 2 clicks off full psychopath and went ballistic when she found it, announcing she was going to destroy the DVD and confront the filthmonger who lent it out. needless to say the matter was never raised again.

however, my mate found the self-same DVD about 2 years later in her wardrobe with all the hallmarks of a life well lived. I don’t think he ever did reveal he’d uncovered the epic double-standards at play.

Have obviously come across a foolproof way of avoiding getting told off.

You’d get told off for a simple accident which breaks something that’s easily replaceable? [/quote]
Told off may be putting it a bit strongly but would certainly get a bit moaned at. Followed by being bugged into taking her shopping to replace it (this would be the real punishment!).