Viewing 14 posts - 1 through 14 (of 14 total)
  • Spoiling kids
  • molgrips
    Free Member

    My colleage (middle-level IT) just mentioned that he spends a grand on each of his kids at Christmas!

    I was utterly shocked. The kids are most likely early teens, as one had changed his order from a new laptop to an iPad.

    I mean fair enough, you can do what you want with your money, but surely this is going to lead to some warped Marie Antoinette style values growing up?

    clubber
    Free Member

    Quite possibly or I guess if it was very carefully 'managed' maybe it could work without spoiling them (wasn't there someone very rich who told his kids that he'd lavish them with whatever they wanted until they were 21 but after that he'd not give them a penny?)

    I had a VERY rich friend at school (got a million quid on his 18th…) but he really had his head screwed on and understood how lucky he was and didn't see himself as better than others because he was richer.

    carlosg
    Free Member

    Seems a bit OTT to me too but at the end of the day it's his cash to spend as he sees fit!

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    joolsburger
    Free Member

    Nope not a problem. Some of the best people I know are loaded and extremely kind and selfless as are their kids..

    molgrips
    Free Member

    It's the kids values I am worried about. If you think that you can just ask for whatever expensive trinket is currently in vogue and get it, without it costing you anything at all in effort, time or money.

    And is the kid going to think all presents should be that expensive? When he gets his first job is he going to run up huge credit card debts to fund what he considers basic gifts to people? (like some folk I know) What if his first gf gives him some speciality beers for Christmas, will he think she's a cheapskate or is insulting him or something?

    Makes me feel very uneasy, but I'm not sure why.

    Btw they are not loaded.

    breatheeasy
    Free Member

    I know two sisters who are from a pretty well off family. Both get fairly spoilt each Christmas. One accepts the presents, knows how lucky she is and has her head screwed on. The other one took a complete hissy fit a couple of years ago because daddy bought her the 'wrong' £800 stereo. Depends on the person.

    I think if you're old enough to appreciate the cost then you're not too bad. If it starts too early then that's when you're in trouble.

    Next doors little kid has everything, dozens of Barbies, electric 2-seater car blah blah. She doesn't look after anything as she knows she'll just get a new one bought for her.

    vinnyeh
    Full Member

    Spoiling the kids in my opinion is a different sort of thing- akin to giving them what they want when they want it ie on their terms.
    I'd have no qualms about the ipad thing, really- a lot of kids have computers/tellys/ipods these days- this is just a variation, and if I thought about it, I'd say that an ipad is probably going to be reasonably futureproof for a few years, is likely to hold it's value better, and it's unlikely that I'm going to have to sort out viruses picked up from porn or torrent sites every 5 minutes.
    It's like bikes- I bought our 2 Islabikes a couple of years back, the youngest was 20 months. People admired them, then asked how much- cue raised eyebrows or mention of the deals at toy's r us..
    If you want something which is going to provide good value, you often have to pay extra for it- sure, a grand each is a lot of money, but if it provided a couple of presents that are going to outlast Boxing Day, and that's it for the year, then that's pretty good going.

    In my opinion, of course.

    rightplacerighttime
    Free Member

    I think it depends on motivation. If you spend a grand because you think you ought to spend a grand then that is pretty lame. If you spend a grand because your kid happens to want some specific thing that happens to cost a grand (like a nice bike) and you think they deserve it, then I think maybe not so bad. OTOH I couldn't see myself spending anything like that on my kids as they are only 5 and 6. They'd have to be old enough to be committed to a sport or musical instrument or some other hobby before I would spend (invest) that sort of money. I start to feel twitchy once we've spent about £100 on the usual sort of non-utility Christmas stuff.

    duntmatter
    Free Member

    I had an interesting talk with a retired millionaire psychologist who'd started with nothing. I wondered about the effect of my (hopeful, future) ability to buy presents for any kids I have. He knew where I was coming from, but made a good point.. It's the values instilled in the children that make them who they are, and not the providing/denying of gifts. He was rich in £££ and in wisdom.

    molgrips
    Free Member

    I want to know why he wants an iPad. If he has a real need for portable computing then ok. If he just wants the latest toy to show off with then leave under a pile of clothes on the bedroom floor when he's bored with it in 2 months, then it's a waste of money and resources.

    I think that some big items like perhaps a bike or a computer, which are significant for modern living, could be bought when deemed necessary as one-offs, and the kids must understand the cost involved and look after them. They must also have a genuine use for them and really use the things once they get them.

    Christmas should be for fun gifts, and should not be hugely expensive. I think kids are spoiled when they get demanding.

    The reason I felt that this guy was spoiling his kids was that he said he'd changed his order from a new laptop to an iPad. Made it sound very demanding. Of course I don't know the whole situation. But it does raise the question, if you have that kind of money, SHOULD you spend it on kids Christmas presents? Whats Christmas about? Hanging out and having a good time, or getting expensive stuff?

    It's the values instilled in the children that make them who they are

    That is exactly what I am saying.

    tron
    Free Member

    What breatheasy said.

    I know several sisters with a loaded Dad who dotes on them a bit. Majority of them are lovely, one of them is a pain by all accounts.

    It's not a route I'd go down if I had kids and money.

    crikey
    Free Member

    Pah.
    If you really want to spoil them, let them grow up in a society where they've got no chance of ever affording any fancy things. Don't give them any toys, use physical violence and mental degradation and never show them any affection….

    vinnyeh
    Full Member

    "Order" is a turn of phrase often used by parents to describe their children's birthday and Christmas request. Don't read too much into it.

    I would think that providing the 'necessary one-offs' at Christmas or birthdays gives kids a greater realisation of their worth than if they turn up at indeterminate times through the year- to get that bike or laptop they're probably going to have to sacrifice something else.

    A bit selfish, but I'd rather spend my money now on my kids, when we can both get some enjoyment out of it, than leave them it in my will, when they'll be squandering it without my eye on them.

    molgrips
    Free Member

    I would think that providing the 'necessary one-offs' at Christmas or birthdays gives kids a greater realisation of their worth than if they turn up at indeterminate times through the year

    I'm not sure. I don't want Christmas to be about big expensive things. I'd rather big stuff was done at other times of the year when there's no hype and it's more considered.

    I'd rather spend money on my kids by taking them away on adventures or doing cool events or sports. Or, since I'm self employed, not working and spending time with them.

Viewing 14 posts - 1 through 14 (of 14 total)

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