GF initiated a chat last night which resulted in her saying it's over between us. We've been together 8 yrs and have an awesome 3 yr old boy. To say I'm devastated is an understatement She says it's because we're no longer the happy loving couple that we used to be + I've prioritised my work (mostly) over family + left her feeling neglected etc.
She's had long periods of being unwell (ME type condition among many other things) since before we met. This is still the case now but with a different condition. But she's held down a good job throughout (albeit with a fair bit of time off).
As a result, I
had chose to do a lot of "her share" of the chores, errands and baby/toddler-centric stuff (putting him to bed, getting up in the night, etc) because she needed recovery time.
However, this, coupled with me spending 3-4 years putting in extra-curricular hours to improve my skills and get promotion to an excellent role/salary has left me exhausted for the last year too. And stressed (not with my job but with juggling everything day-to-day). So I've neglected much of the physical/emotional sides of our relationship and we've become more like 2 close friends than a couple.
My argument was that I wanted to put us in a better position for affording a house (we rent - and it's damn expensive round here to buy) and to give us a stronger foundation as a family. We've been looking at houses since Christmas but she's recently cooled on the idea. And then last night she just broke.
I've reflected on a few things in recent weeks and realised that yes, I was a ^&*) in many ways. But I was trying to do the right thing (which it obviously wasn't). And I've since wanted nothing more than for us to become a couple again and to continue raising our amazing little boy together. She says this is not an option as I've hurt her too much and she can no longer trust me. At the same time, neither of us know where this leaves us moving forward, i.e. continuing to live together, moving out, custody of our son, etc. We're both in bits.
Just needed to vent.
Any ideas would be cool too