Following on from the not-entirely-negative response to the last thread about speed dating, I actually signed up for the whole crazy business…

I’m now currently worried that I will dry up for conversation and/or get bored chatting about the same thing to twenty different people.

The more bizarre, yet socially acceptable, the better! 😀

i got asked whether i fold or scrunch my toilet paper… she said it would give an indication of how messy my room is.

i fold, she didn’t put my name down at the end. she was hot 🙁

…but she had a dirty ass.

Avoid anything about tyres or conveyer belts!

Who’s your fave serial killer ?

The rashes I have had as an adult.
Why my ex girlfriends hate me.
How can I find out who the panties I am wearing belong to.
Does she think rape or murder is a worst crime?

body disposal methods
body disposal sites
last gig she went to
best way to get a body past security cameras
how long it takes for a body to go cold and stiff

Ask her to tell you the answer then you have to guess what the question was.

Ask her about herself !!! What she does at the weekends, what music she likes, cooking, sport, pets etc. How you have never done this before and are a bit shy and nervous. Finish with being hung like a donkey and you are in.

Does she like Mountain Bikes.

Oh so many lols, cheers gang.

Phil – practical stuff, like it.

hels – So talk about normal/boring stuff and then lie…? Might work!

Wish you hadn’t mentioned the damn conveyor belt, nob! Actually, if any of them turn out to be immediately obviously unsuitable for me (i.e. if they’re attractive and charming) I shall definitely ask them about planes on conveyor belts. Ditto to MSP’s suggestions! 😈

Watch the most sappy annoying ‘chick flick’ you can find about 100times, learn the name of all characters and sub-characters, who the actors are and the intimate details of their last 10 ten years. Compare it to the current most popular Chick Lit book (go ask your bookstore assistant). Use the word ‘lovely’ a lot…
Talk about how you like to multi-task in the kitchen and always will clean up after cooking supper -that’s the kicker!(someone find Molgrips and point him at that sentence) 😉 😈
I’m sure you’ll be fine.

Ask if anyone knows they’ve gone out tonight and how long do they think it would take for someone to notice they were missing.

“are you allergic to gaffa tape?”
“how long have you been pubic for?”

You could bring a bag of lollies or something and give each one a sweet…that way she’ll still be thinking about you when she goes to see the next guy.

That was an attempt at a serious suggestion.

Obvious questions to pose:

How tidy is your lady garden?
What are your views on legalising prostitution?
Do you know the effective killing range of a Barrett 50?
Have you ever seen a ghost?
Did you ever live in a house with an outside toilet?
Penne or rigatone?
What was the name of the police captain in Starsky and Hutch?
Would you say this smells like chloroform?

“If you were a canibal, which part of me would you eat first ?”

-Pretend to be blind and tell them you need to use your hands to get an idea what they look like.

-Record one of those 80’s style dating videos for exactly 3mins, stick it on your iphone and then play it for each date.

-Get a massive wad of cash and stick it on the table and ask how long it would take her to spend it before running off with your best mate, leaving you a pitiful miserable husk of your former self.

edit:

You could bring a bag of lollies or something and give each one a sweet…

I heard of a guy who showed up to one with a bottle of champagne to ‘woo’ each lady with. Bit creepy if you ask me…

McHamish – interesting duality in your suggestions. I suspect it would be tricky to persuade a lady to accept a lolly after asking her your first question…

Nice ones, Derek, even if all of them are TOTALLY OBVIOUS speed dating question suggestions.

I feel ready!

Record one of those 80’s style dating videos for exactly 3mins, stick it on your iphone and then play it for each date.

[video]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ChcTPFILIvs[/video]

* Do you like horror movies?
* Have you ever traveled around another country alone?
* Wouldn’t it be fun to chuck it all and go live on a sailboat?

http://uk.lifehacker.com/5759588/how-to-tell-if-youre-compatible-with-another-person

you won’t run out of stuff to talk about, she’ll be trying to start a conversation too.

Ask her if she likes the taste of beer

pretend to be deaf and dumb and wave you arms around frantically for 3 minutes

I agree with hels!

But the whole thing is so pretentious – how can one possibly be oneself?

Good luck and look forward to laughing hearing about it. 😉

What tyres for…..?

Avoid dull stuff like “what do you do for a living” at the start anyway.

Stuff like “Do you take it up the ****er? what did you do at the weekend? How was your day? ”

OK, one last ditch attempt to get some more genius ideas before this evening’s debacle.

Keep ’em coming, folks!

So, I went, I talked, I listened and I didn’t completely fluff it up…!

Had quite a lot of very similar pieces of conversations along the lines of “is it your first time/what you expected/how’s it going/etc” but out of twenty conversations actually met a couple of very lovely and interesting ladies. Let’s wait and see if it worked both ways!

Topics that worked: mentioning setting up own business; doing my own DIY (that it’s not rocket science seems to escape the fairer sex) and baking my own cupcakes (she seemed to genuinely appreciate the baking soda/vinegar tip for her reluctant muffins). Literature and museums/art are useful cards to be able to lay as well.

Being yourself really is the key, though that doesn’t work against the girls that have been dragged along by their friends and the girl who was there worringly obviously looking for a sugar daddy…

If you’re unsure, I recommend giving it a go, if only cos it’ll reassure you that you’re not the biggest loser out there 😉

Though I wish I could have remembered more of it, thanks again for all your advice, ladies and gentlemen.

I think the best policy is just be yourself …

you talked about ‘doing it yourself’? 😯 and what was wrong with her muffins

Just reading this for the first time. Some very funny topics. I was asked to join a friend before but bottled it as I thought my conversation would dry up. Glad you had a good one though. Come away with any numbers or does it not work like that?

Where can one buy rohypnol sweeties?