The South Manchester Massive will be holding their annual festival of stupidity tomorrow evening. CAlling it a night ride really is stretching things. There are bikes there, but thats where the similarity ends. Meeting at Jacksonss Boat at 7.30. All welcome

For anyone who hasn't joined us before, here it is, beautifully desscribed by NBT:

6.45, the early arrivers get the first pint in at Jacko's
7.15 or so, people start to make a move, then get another one in as some latecomers roll up
7.30ish, people make another attempt to leave. this one is sometimes succesful

SOmetime before 8, the group cross the bridge to the other side of the river. Having travelled a massive 100 yards, bikes are then abandoned and fireworks are set off in a carefully controlled environment, showing all due respect for the ealth and safety advice meted out. They are not – I repeat NOT – lit and thrown away, lit at an angle to see what will happen, or taped together and lit to see if they'll go higher.

While various pyromaniacs light anything flammable, Graham, John and Mark will wander round offering a drink from their hipflasks. If you;re lucky, it's just Pernod or Whisky. If you're slightly unlucky, it'll be Absinthe. If it's a bad night, it'll be something brewed and distilled using an illegal still cobbled together from the bits lying around at the back of the workshop

at around 8.30, having exhausted the supply of flammable and / or explosive goods, bicycles are remounted and the groups sets off. Some will follow the wide trail acorss the moss to the road, while others will stupidly follow whoever happens to be in the lead through the singletrack.

The various groups will eventually reconvene in Chorlton, where an attempt will be made to have a drink in every pub within a 100 metre radius of Chorlton Green. It doesn;t sound like much, but I reckon you'll drown if you try it.

The group will then again split into two as one group races back to Jackos' while the other group realises it's completely lost and makes a slow journey back to Jackos byt blindly cycling down vaguely remembered tracks. Optionally some people simply disappear at this point, but we don't talk about them in case someone asks too many questions