He works as a chef in a “big hotel chain”.

It’s over unauthorised days off. His second disciplinary I believe. Just as an fyi, he’s 20 years old.

At the previous disciplinary he was told he couldn’t have someone with him at the disciplinary.
This time he’s been told he can.

He isn’t in a union or anything unfortunately but he is *not* on a set hour contact. Am I allowed to be there, heck, not that I can do much other than be moral support?

He’s on anti depressants, which they know about, and initially said they would be supportive. Then he is told about this disciplinary “meeting” next week.

I’m not saying he has done nothing wrong,I just want advice on the best help I can give him.

Thanks guys, any help appreciated.

Joining a union ASAP might be a sound move?

Normally only a union rep, or a colleague

TBH, he’d be better off getting a new job than get sacked.

CA

https://www.citizensadvice.org.uk/work/problems-at-work/disciplinary-meetings/who-can-accompany-you-to-a-disciplinary-meeting/

Edit: klunk beat me to it.

Its worth being prepared. If following the usual sort of procedure. They will just ask him few questions about why he missed a shift and then he will be told either a written warning or just a bollocking. Does he need the support? You won’t be allowed to speak for him.

If he knows someone there he trusts to go in with him it would be better. Not worth making a huge fuss – its not going to influence the outcome having a union rep in and not being a member they wouldn’t represent him anyway – not for something like that.

They probably have fairly strict set guidelines for dealing with folk who miss shifts and are just following a step by step process.

What TJ said

unions wont represent folk who join with an ongoing issue that predates membership – in much the same way the AA wont let you join when your car is broken down

The rep may still come with you but its unofficial.

I would if it was likely/possible to lead to a sacking and the person was not an arse

May be worth getting an experienced colleague he trusts as it my be a bit formal overwhelming for someone so young?? Depend son your lad tbh

Good luck

TBH, he’d be better off getting a new job than get sacked.

this ^

We have effectively full employment at the moment. Let him walk and find a new job having taken control of the situation.

There should be an investigation before they even decide on a disciplinary.
He should be written to 48hrs before the investigation interview.
If they are going straight in with a disciplinary they have already made up their mind and are at fault.
I would go with him if you can.
They should give him a written statement of what the full procedure is.
It’s a simple procedure and they need to follow it.
You can ask questions and answer and coach during the interview, you don’t haveto keep quiet.
Take notes.

I’d have been horrified at the idea of my dad coming along to hold my hand at a work-related discussion once I was that age.

they have clearly informed of the date and clearly informed him what it is about which is what they need to do.

geoffj – Member

m0rk – Member
TBH, he’d be better off getting a new job than get sacked.

this ^
We have effectively full employment at the moment. Let him walk and find a new job having taken control of the situation. [/quote]
^^^ This.
Don’t force himself to be there.
Sometimes it is just not meant to be.

No you can’t usually ask questions and it’s unlikely you’d be allowed to attend, it’s usually only a rep or colleague. They’re there as an observer to ensure the person subject to the disciplinary isn’t bullied and due process is adhered to.

TBH he’s on sticky wicket on attendance grounds, he was either at work when should have been or wasn’t, unless he’s protected under disability legislation (which he may be with depression) he doesn’t have much defence.

if he does wish to resign its better to try it at the disciplinary/ by negotiation , accept his error,fall on sword, say personal problem, sayI m young but I have learnt a valuable lesson in what not to do then ask , plead for a decent reference.

Most employers will check with the previous and they tend to ask about disciplinary stuff so they may accept his resignation with no note and a decent reference

Leaving before they can say he was accused of X but he left before the hearing was held in a reference

Depends on the company though and whether hotel trade check previous employer

Its not great he’s missed two days, but theres hundreds of smaller pubs / restaurants who have less than stringent hiring procedures. In other words, they need a chef quickly and when can he start. Be positive. If they’re allowing a representative then he’s on the way out as they’re following disciplinary procedure and the end result (already foregone) will be gross misconduct. It just means they take a few days to follow procedure. Hand in notice, apologise and start canvassing all businesses with a kitchen in the local area.

Was the first one actually a disciplinary or was it a “back to work” meeting as large employers tend to do these days. That covers them from disability discrimination point of view.

I only ask because people tend to call all such meeting disciplinaries when they are not. They are not required to allow a companion to a back to work meeting.

Tell them to **** off, if he’s a good chef he’ll get another job no worries

Well, had a long chat with him.

Basically he is handing in his notice. He wont be working any notice time either. I support him 100% after hearing how he feels.

For the first time he has opened up and talked to me about it. He feels physically sick at the thought of going into work when he is on shift. It goes deeper but suffice to say I have been where he is now, in the past, and I wouldn’t even attempt to say to him to work out his notice period when he feels this low.

Genuinely, genuinely thanks for the info and support you guys have offered tonight.

He has the great luxury of being young and he will get over this blip!

Again, a MASSIVE thanks.

nastybuller – Member

Tell them to **** off, if he’s a good chef he’ll get another job no worries

Amen to that!

I have been where your son and you have been and know how hard it is. I think your son has done the right thing and actually to have attended the vast majority of the time has taken courage! Best of luck!

Feeling physically ill at the thought of work is something to be concerned about. Has he spoken to someone professional about it? I’d really advise a self referral to your local IAPT service. There is, unfortunately, often a long waiting list, and he may need to push a bit, but they can often provide some very useful help in situations like these.

All the best.

A lot may hinge on whether it’s working in general or that job in particular that’s the trigger for his feelings. Don’t think it’s clear from what the op has written.

unions wont represent folk who join with an ongoing issue that predates membership – in much the same way the AA wont let you join when your car is broken down

Off topic; I thought they would, you just have to pay the full amount not the usually heavily discounted rate.