That is true I'm just old fashioned, apologies.
Chat Forum
so there's this girl...
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Posted 8 months ago #
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But what about Barry? Have some empathy Yeti. He's going to be awfully upset.
Posted 8 months ago # -
Following his rejection in the showers, Barry goes the other way and get's together with 'the girl'... they are happy together and have beautiful babies.
Posted 8 months ago # -
Brycerw : "I've been thinking, you should see my Cock"
girl "I'm sorry"
Brycerw "Yeah, we should, y'know, get it together."
girl "I wouldn't **** you if you were the MD of this dump"
Brycrw "why are you fighting it, you want it, I want it, lets get together and feel alright"
girl "You couldn't make me feel alright even if you stapled your toungue to my clit and sat on a tumble dryer"
I'm banned, aren't I?
Posted 8 months ago # -
Good work emsz... Brycerw.... just bowl on up to her and ask her...
"do you want to play the rape game?"
Posted 8 months ago # -
I hope not emsz - excellent work and gives a bit of balance to the 'laddishness' of the thread
Posted 8 months ago # -
"no!"
"That's the spirit!"
Posted 8 months ago # -
Dawn raiders - That's where I smash your back door in.
Posted 8 months ago # -
Phil you're good at this, keep playing like that and you might win!
Posted 8 months ago # -
"You couldn't make me feel alright even if you stapled your toungue to my clit and sat on a tumble dryer"
PMSL - genius, sheer genius<EDIT> OP, you could approach you beloved, smiling sweetly, stapler in hand and tell her the internet suggested...
Posted 8 months ago # -
"I've been thinking, you should see my Cock - sweet-cheeks."
A little compliment makes such a big difference to the ladies.
Posted 8 months ago # -
i find a simple straight forward approach works... something along the lines of:
"you is well fit bruv, wanna ride in my corsa down to the Maccy-D's carpark?"
or
"excuse me young lady, i wasnt aware its bring your sexy daughter to work day, what department does your mum work in?" (they like to feel young and attractive these wimminz)
or
"i bet i can weigh your boobies"
*grab boobs, give them a jiggle and shout "waheyy!"*
or rent a private jet and tell her to suck your tongue.
Posted 8 months ago # -
Phil - you is like well cool innit bruv! You must be beating them off with a shitty stick fella!!
Posted 8 months ago # -
my only experience with asking women out biking is that you end up traveling miles to do a ride that is a 3rd of your normal distanceand you feel cheated that you didnt break a sweat and you end up cleaner their bike for them.
apologies to all women who ride long distances and clean their own bike
Posted 8 months ago # -
with lines like that do you really think i'd ever be turned down?
more suggestions:
walk up, stick a post-stick note on her head with 'mine' written on it.
start a rumour you had to have your penis shortened as the weight was causing you lower back problems
invent sexually suggestive nicknames for yourself around the office:
"hi, i'm phil, but people around here call me 'the pork swordsman'" for example.
bring a kitten/puppy/someones baby to work, ladies love that stuff.
Posted 8 months ago # -
so now he'll be arrested on suspicion of sexual harassment for parading a tiny fluffy pussy around the office and asking strange women out for a ride!
Genius!
STW proves itself again as the purveyor of wisdom and common sense solutions to the worlds hardest problems
Posted 8 months ago # -
bring a
kitten/puppy/someones babystapler and a tumble drier to work, ladies love that stuff.Posted 8 months ago # -
tried a chest wig?
Posted 8 months ago # -
tried a chest wig?
Or some Carlos Fandango Super Wide Wheels on your Corsa?
Posted 8 months ago # -
a corsa?! you think i own a corsa?! i'm not made of money like deadlydarcy you know
Posted 8 months ago # -
Tell her your PhilConsequence off of the internet?
Make sure you don't say you're Jamie by accident.
Posted 8 months ago # -
Jamie? Owner of the huge worldwide egg empire?!!
*swoons*
Posted 8 months ago # -
Carlos Fandango Super Wide Wheels
I don't think anyone under the age of 40 will have any idea what these are but whoever thought up that name was a genius.
Posted 8 months ago # -
well you know, i live my life a quarter mile at a time.
Posted 8 months ago # -
girl "You couldn't make me feel alright even if you stapled your toungue to my clit and sat on a tumble dryer"
*Applauds loudly*
Sheer genius, I'll be using a variation of that quote in future.
It's been a while since I read through this thread, I'm assuming that he hasn't sailed the skin boat to tuna town yet?
Posted 8 months ago # -
sailed the skin boat to tuna town yet
also worth applauding!
i'm going to start whacking this at the end of some of my posts so hopefully i wont need to keep bumping the thread swinley forum ride <---
Posted 8 months ago # -
Be king of the road, showing your age there chap!
I expect he is reciting a mantra in the gents lavatories before he chances his arm with our heroine. Chances are she is frothing at the gash but he is blind to it.
Posted 8 months ago # -
I'm assuming that he hasn't sailed the skin boat to tuna town yet?
*spits tea*
Posted 8 months ago # -
To be fair, he'd need eyes mounted on stalks on his feet to veryify that, joolsburger.
Posted 8 months ago # -
Or excellent hearing.
Posted 8 months ago # -
So can someone summarise for me, has the gentleman in question invited the lucky lady out for a coffee and pastry or not?
Posted 8 months ago # -
I don't think so PJM, I think though brycerw might be regreting asking on here for advice, I don't think we've been that useful. LOL
Posted 8 months ago # -
I beg to differ! This is a public service!
Posted 8 months ago # -
Agreed Andy. Not only that but I think he's helped with a potential best seller.
I can't remember if I asked for pictures or not, but... if brycerw would be so kind as to post up a picture of himself and the girl then we'll be able to tell him whether to pursure his dreams or just lock it up in 'the bank'?
Posted 8 months ago # -
OP earlier this morning
Posted 8 months ago #
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