So, my (almost) 16 year old boy wants to join the army!

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So, my (almost) 16 year old boy wants to join the army!

123 posts & 68 voices | Started 9 months ago by Bregante | Latest reply from coffeeking

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Bregante - Member

My son turns 16 next month. Whilst he's not academically a high achiever, he's a great lad and I'm (obviously) extremely proud of him. He lives with his mum ( we divorced 10 years ago) and developed an interest in the army cadets about 2 years ago after some bullying problems at school (at the time he was a bit overweight and a bit soft - which he is certainly not anymore).

He is now a 6 ft strapping lad and loves cadets, pretty much lives for it. He's just called me to say that he's been to the army careers office today and booked his Army recruit battery test (BARB) which he needs his parents permission for. His mum is going to flip! Pretty mixed emotions right now and I know anything could happen between now and next year when he leaves school but he seems so young to join up. At the same time, I would also be full of admiration for him taking such a massive decision.

Posted 9 months ago #
GrahamS - Member

Take him out to the garden, shoot him in the leg, ask him if that feels like a good career choice.

Posted 9 months ago #
camo16 - Member

Does he really know what the army's like these days and what kind of war he'll be participating in?

Posted 9 months ago #
gravitysucks - Member

My niece joined the Army at 16 straight from school. She's got her head screwed on and was determined to join. The family supported her full and two years on she loves it. Definately the right decision for her.
Full respect to your lad, not just for joining but also for actually knowing what he wants to do and going fot it!!

Posted 9 months ago #
Bregante - Member

His uncle (on his mums side) and 2 cousins are all in the regulars.

Posted 9 months ago #
CaptainFlashheart - Member

gravitysucks, +1.

Good for him, a great choice of career. What line of soldiering is he looking at? Any initial thoughts?

Posted 9 months ago #
Bregante - Member

Well ideally I would like him to get a trade in engineering of some description, if he does sign up and he was thinking along those lines but both his cousins are infantry (lancashire fusiliers) and he's now thinking along these lines

Posted 9 months ago #
mt - Member

Support him and maybe he will listen to your concerns for him but support his choice.

Posted 9 months ago #
clubber - Member

I'd suggest you talk it through with him, make sure that he's not just caught up in the idea rather than the reality of it (doesn't sound like that's the case) and if he's still sure, let him do it - by the sounds of it, all you'll do by refusing is delay it and cause resentment.

Good luck

Posted 9 months ago #
Stoatsbrother - Member

Let him go. Good on him.

Interesting "More or Less" programme on radio 4 a few weeks ago where they said that the chances of death per year of a UK Soldier on active service was lower than the chances of death per year of a musician who achieved chart success...

Posted 9 months ago #
oldgit - Member

Infantry is rather pure soldiering. What have the Lancashires been up to?
My son is keen, and just a bit younger that yours. rather embarassingly I've forgotten the name of the regiment he is interested in. Basically its' a Comando engineers regiment

Posted 9 months ago #
Ecky-Thump - Member

Possible comprosise solution... RAF?
Good engineering opportunity and generally kept out of the way of Taliban target practice.
Probably come out with a good degree and be paid for the priveledge, rather than paying £27k plus living costs.

Posted 9 months ago #
seosamh77 - Member

My da wouldn't even let me join the scouts!

Posted 9 months ago #
MSP - Member

Interesting "More or Less" programme on radio 4 a few weeks ago where they said that the chances of death per year of a UK Soldier on active service was lower than the chances of death per year of a musician who achieved chart success...

Quite a misleading and meaningless comparison.

Posted 9 months ago #
RealMan - Member

I almost joined when I was that age. Almost went to army college, then off to uni, then to sandhurst, etc. etc. Instead, just went to normal college, then uni, and after that, who knows? I don't really think I want to be in the army anymore, but I was pretty sure a few years ago. It's a tough thing, as at that age you can be pretty sure about something, but you may change your mind. You say he's not bright, but is he bright enough that he might have a better career doing something else? He can always leave (maybe) if he hates it.

Posted 9 months ago #
MSP - Member

by the way, you can't just walk into engineering posts, you actually do require some academic prowess.

Posted 9 months ago #
fourcrossjohn - Member

i was in the same boat as him, had a shit school life, joined cadets wanted the army life as i loved what i had in cadets.

i'm now applying for the royal navy....

Posted 9 months ago #
JEngledow - Member

Good for him, as others have said try to 'guide' him towards the engineers or something so that he's got a trade and his job prospects are massively increased when he leaves.

Posted 9 months ago #
Stoatsbrother - Member

MSP - I'd disagree - but we musn't pull the thread too much OT.

The death rate per year of one bunch of 20 year olds, compared with another.

Not saying they are realistic alternative choices, but whilst the death rate in the modern army understandably is a concern to any parent - and a real shame - we are not talking about the fatality rate in lots of previous conflicts.

My point is that people may have an artificially high perception of the death rate in the services.

Posted 9 months ago #
captaincarbon - Member

Great career choice if thats what he really wants to do. If he doesnt like it he wont make it through basic training...its a world away from the cadets!
Loved my time there, and i know the British Army has changed a great deal since then, but if its what he wants to do then find out all the information you can for him.

Posted 9 months ago #
nmdbase - Member

Support him in whatever he feels it is he wants to do. If it was my son I'd make him fully aware that this is real life and not like the cadets at all, also make him aware of the fact that he will be going to a war zone fairly soon too.

I'd be proud of him if it was me, there are far worse options open to teenagers and it's nice to hear of a youngster with some direction for once.

Posted 9 months ago #
Bregante - Member

Real Man, I never said he wasn't bright, I said he is not academically high achiever. He is very switched on but isn't expected to achieve good exam grades next year. There's a difference.

Posted 9 months ago #
Teetosugars - Member

Good Man.

I joined up at 16, and spent the next 12 years doing exactly that.

I had a great time, saw some great, ( And a few not so ) places.

Got a decent trade, and wouldn't change it for the world.

Sadly, a broken neck ment my career ended half way through.

Would do it all again.

Tomorrow.

Posted 9 months ago #
gravitysucks - Member

Yeh a bit of direction from you will help and if your interested and encouraging him then he's more likely to take on board what your saying.

If I was that age in the currant climate I would def be applying. A very wise choice if you ask me.

Posted 9 months ago #
mastiles_fanylion - Member

His uncle (on his mums side) and 2 cousins are all in the regulars.

Has he spoken to them about what the reality is like? I think they could give him better advice than you could but whatever he decides you have to stand by him - he is soon to be an adult so treat him as such and gain his respect - he deserves it because it takes a certain type of person to be so confident about what they want (especially as it involves the potential for serious harm).

Posted 9 months ago #
konabunny - Member

What's the minimum term commitment for a 16 year old? Is it still true that the UK is one of a small number of rich countries to still occasionally send child soldiers into combat or did they stop that after criticism a couple of years ago?

The death rate per year of one bunch of 20 year olds, compared with another.

"20 year olds who have achieved chart success" is a statistically insignificant group.

Posted 9 months ago #
GrahamS - Member

> The death rate per year of one bunch of 20 year olds, compared with another.

"20 year olds who have achieved chart success" is a statistically insignificant group.

Plus comparing death rates ignores the number of 20 year olds that have been seriously injured (missing limbs, paralysis, loss of sight etc) which I suspect is significantly higher in soldiers than in boy bands.

Posted 9 months ago #
uwe-r - Member

I know nothing about this, but. Could he go to collage first and then go in? Two years might make all the difference to the decision he makes and the opportunity available.

I would also have one eye on the long term, I have heard some sad stories of people coming out of the army, engineering side would look like a good move.

Posted 9 months ago #
RealMan - Member

Sorry Bregante, not what I meant at all, I mistyped.

Posted 9 months ago #
IanMunro - Member

I think you're dwelling on the negatives. At least he hasn't suggested golf as a future career.

Posted 9 months ago #
Bregante - Member

His uncle (on his mums side) and 2 cousins are all in the regulars.

Has he spoken to them about what the reality is like? I think they could give him better advice than you could but whatever he decides you have to stand by him - he is soon to be an adult so treat him as such and gain his respect - he deserves it because it takes a certain type of person to be so confident about what they want (especially as it involves the potential for serious harm).

He has been spending increasing amounts of time with the two cousins, who are 21 and 19 and he looks up to them. I don't think they have been filling his head with bravado either from what he in turn, has said to me. I think he has recognised that, to a certain extent, academic qualifications count for a lit less in the forces, than they do in civilian life and there is not a great deal of opportunity for him where he is now.

He has recently been in Africa doing some charity work (I posted about it recently) which he funded almost totally himself and I think this has also opened his eyes to the wider world. Whatever he decides, he will obviously have my (and his mums) support.

Doesn't stop you fretting though.....

Posted 9 months ago #
Bregante - Member

No worries RM

Posted 9 months ago #
Flaperon - Member

Has to be his decision - support him and make sure he understands what he's getting into. I've never considered the military (won't follow orders) but thinking back to when I was that age, if you'd told me I couldn't do something I'd just set myself against you and do it anyway.

Posted 9 months ago #
Bregante - Member

Uwe-r. One option I am keen for him to explore is the army college at Harrogate (there are others) where he would study for two years in a given army career related area (eg: electro mechanical engineering). If after completion of two years, he wishes to sign up then he can go into his chosen field. Obviously places are limited though and entry is based on performance at assessment/interview.

Posted 9 months ago #
Del - Member

how about the ta for a couple of years while he does FE of some sort. have no real idea of what i'm taking about, just a suggestion!
might it be a good middle ground for him to get a better idea of the more gritty aspects of being 'in', earning a few quid, but also maybe picking up a few a levels or a btec that might come in handy later, whatever he decides to do?
good luck to him, whatever. sometimes think i might have got on well in the forces, and regret not looking at it more seriously when i was younger.

Posted 9 months ago #

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