I've known lots of really bad ones but the best was the one I had with Debbie.
A total slapper (not that I was particularly fussy), lets get that bit straight, but a real looker with it.
I met her and was besotted with her immediately. She gave amazing head. Two days later I'm lying on the ground while two lads give me a kicking. I wronged her apparently.
About a week later, we meet in Manchester, she pleads forgiveness and wins by being *very* nice to me on the train home. Best train journey ever.
Another week later and the two lads are back. I manage to escape. My sister warns me about the two lads. One is her ex and one is her brother, this is not uncommon it seems.
She corners me in a pub, I've had a few so we end up retiring to the toilets. Guess who I bump into a few days later. This time I drop one of them, not sure which one, the other legs it.
I meet Debbie one last time and we have a full weekend of the most amazing filth. My bedroom, car, a number of pub toilets and some outside is now dirty for ever. Absolutely brilliant. I bump into one of her mates a few days later and apparently Debbie has got a job on a cruise ship. Her departure is known locally as 'around the world in 80 lays'.
Years pass before I see her again. She's still stunning, now married apparently, and still gagging for it. She tries it on but I'm seeing a girl I really like so I decline. This time it's her new husband who comes looking for me.....
MAD AS A FROG EATING A BADGER!!!