I’m sorry to hear the shit news! To echo what many others have already said, always stay positive and keep up the fight.

My mum was given months to less than a year with primaries in the bladder, secondaries in the lungs, diagnosed in Dec 2013. Despite the bleak prognosis, we’ve seen 3 Christmas’s since then and scans to date are all stable.

So **** cancer and give it the old two fingers. Best of luck mate!

avdave2 – Member
There are times in life when you appear to have woken up in someone else’s life. Nothing that is happening to you is familiar and none of it makes any sense. Remember that posting on here will help, but you’ll not just be helping yourself you’ll also be helping all of us as well. Helping us to appreciate all that we have in life and all that we hold dear. Don’t ever for one minute think that you should not burden others with your problems, you’ll do more for others than you’ll ever realise. If just one person reads your posts and then spends just a few more minutes with their children or just tells someone they love them then you’ll have made the world a better place.

So well said and oh so true.

avdave2 – Member
There are times in life when you appear to have woken up in someone else’s life. Nothing that is happening to you is familiar and none of it makes any sense. Remember that posting on here will help, but you’ll not just be helping yourself you’ll also be helping all of us as well. Helping us to appreciate all that we have in life and all that we hold dear. Don’t ever for one minute think that you should not burden others with your problems, you’ll do more for others than you’ll ever realise. If just one person reads your posts and then spends just a few more minutes with their children or just tells someone they love them then you’ll have made the world a better place.

I can safely say this is one of the best posts I have ever read – on STW or elsewhere.

Thanks for all the responses folks. Had a pretty normal day today out and about which was a much needed distraction. Just back in base now for a couple of hours before the Welsh contingency arrives which I think will be tough. Mrs K, I and my sister are a few days into this whereas the rest of my family will be getting the full news first hand from me.
They really are a great bunch so I know it will be fine but just emotional.

After tonight I need to get ready for the biopsy tomorrow morning then take things from there. One thing I have been discussing with Mrs K and my sister is we are fortunate enough to be flexible on possibly where I get treatment so are thinking of maybe a specialist cancer hospital like Christie in Manchester. I’m originally from North Wales so somewhere like that could be an option for either treatment or a second opinion. I also have full bupa cover which may help to fund so more radical new drugs if required, not sure but an option. As yet I don’t know how/if you can get referred to a specialist hospital any advice on that would be appreciated.

My work will be supportive and they have an extremely generous provision whether it be death in service or early retirement due to ill health which is a big relief for me and in turn our future.

That’s it for now, time to prepare for the clampits to arrive later then take it from there. Cheers all.

All the very very best.

No words, best wishes and I really hope you get a glimmer of light in there soon.

I have nothing insightful or new to add to what’s been said on this thread already, but you keep fighting and everyone else will keep supporting you.

If ever you feel you need to talk, complain or even cry, we’ll all listen, give you manhugs and cry along with you.

All the best of wishes.

I am in spain so not sure if applicable in uk, but my friend in a similar position had a vague social connection with a consultant specialising in that field in a university hospital in a near major city. I say vague it was a friend of a friend.

Anyway, she went with her biopsy and blood test results and got seen just by turning up on a quiet day. The new consultant immediately took the case on and tweaked a few of the treatments. The chemo side effects have subsided and she is a lot happier under the new chap, albeit being further away.

Moral of the story is use every contact you have and look up the performance of each hospital.

So sorry to hear of your diagnosis, and wishing you every success for a swift and full recovery.

That’s tough news and brave to share. My thoughts are with you for today and the road ahead. **** Cancer

Man, just caught the news.
Just want to wish you all the best of everything.

Juanking,

I don’t want to go too much into my family’s encounter with cancer, but would strongly recommend you to get in touch with anyone you know in the NHS, get in touch with your GP and ask them where they would want to be treated if they were in your shoes. There are vastly different levels of competence, service and indeed giving a damn about the patient in different parts of the NHS. Finding that out and the care of the head and neck cancer team in Newcastle gave our family 2 more years of having my father around after he was told that there was nothing that could be done elsewhere.

Once you get a recommendation, arrange a 2nd opinion. Take your wife and your daughter along – go as a family unit. Quietly show them that you are young, outdoorsy and have a family, make them see you as a person, not an appointment.

Good luck.

I wish everybody I knew would stop getting cancer – seems to have been a glut of it lately. Maybe it’s just age.

My mum has been undergoing treatment for metastatic breast cancer recently – wherever you end up getting treatment, make use of all the facilities and services on offer (even if that’s just a biscuit and a tea).

Sat here thinking what say,i was diagnosed with cancer this time last year,and have had treatment and a stem cell transplant in the year since,its a lot to take in and i think we deal with it in our own way,and you will work that out for yourself,but there is a lot of help and advice out there,ask question,and don’t forget,you are not alone,you are going to meet some great people,those who are going to look after you and those who are on the same journey as you. I no this might sound strange but, keep smiling,and crack on,as this is all we can do,all the best fella,and yes i got myself two pairs of those pink socks,so yes F!”£” cancer.

Truly sorry to hear op.

Easier said than done but stay strong and all the very best with the treatment.

Unfortunately the care differs vastly between different health authorities. You can choose where you want to be treated and who you want to see. We shipped my father in law down to Surrey from Lincolnshire. He was diagnosed with cancer of the urethra so Lincs were going to wip his Kidney out. Luckily for him we wanted a second opinion so we got him checked out at his other daughters hospital in Surrey. They checked his kidney function and found that the Kidney that Lincs were going to remove was the only one functioning properly! So Surrey removed the tumour on his urethra and left the Kidney. If he had been in Lincs he would be on dialysis now with a knackered Kidney needing a transplant. Please do your research. All the best fella sending healing vibes.

I hate cancer 🙁

There is nothing I can add other than Christie’s were brilliant with my Mum. I will be thinking of you tomorrow, and sending out whatever positive vibes I can for a “good” result.

Keep strong.

Wishing you the very best outcome. It is early days and treatments are better than ever. Individuals don’t get cancer, families do. It affects all around you I’m sad to say. This from a family that was completely decimated last year.

Share only when and what you feel able to. We are thinking of you.

And I’ll be wearing my pink socks tomorrow.

My recent experience of this with a very close loved one, is that the NHS has been amazing.
Good luck, you are younger and fitter than most who go through it.

Stay strong.

Once upon a time they told me I had 6 months to live – metastatic cancer.

I think it was about 8 years ago.

Keep the faith fella. Email in profile.

I’ll be praying for you and your family today. Good luck and God bless. From what you have said it sounds like it’s been caught early. I’m no professional but I have a feeling you’re going to come out of this whole experience stronger than ever before. Love to you and yours pal.

Good luck today. Terrible news for you and your family.

I got my diagnosis in July 2015 – I was the same age as you, also with young kids. Sorting out the practicalities (pension/death in service benefits etc.) and doing the sums that showed that everyone would at least have enough money was a big thing for me. Mine was stage 3 bladder cancer, no chemo/radio treatment options, just surgery. If your treatment means you need an ostomy of some kind, and you want any advice from a complete stranger, give me a mail.

Not a lot to add other than good luck, that is some rubbish news for a young person to get 🙁

My younger brother was diagnosed with bowel cancer at 29, so know what you/your family are going through.
Cancer treatment is so much better than it was even 5 years ago so stay optimistic/positive..

Take care and keep us posted.

Totally shit news but it is something that touches everyone, the main thing is to just keep fighting and stay healthy and positive.

My sister is 36 and fighting ovarian cancer and my uncle only in his 50’s with prostate cancer, but both have kept fighting and my sister seems to be in remission.

My wife is a radiographer at our local hospital oncology centre, so if there is anything you are not sure about or you feel hasn’t been explained clearly, just drop me an email as she works with and is friends with some brilliant oncologists (including the team in Surrey mentioned above)

Think of this as an opportunity to kick cancer into last week. Hang in there pal, you got this covered.

Juan,

Don’t know what to say apart from I hope the Biopsy brings some better news.

I’m in Aberdeen – Culter with a 4 year old daughter, if we can be of any assistance in providing you or your family with a distraction from all of this please get in contact. My email is in my profile.

Wishing you the best.

Beware the positive thinking, fighting spirit myth that suggests that such an attitude will stop the cancer from growing or prevent death…..

Good article here:https://medivizor.com/blog/2015/04/30/positive-thinking-and-cancer/

“Patients are even told that they will never beat the cancer if they don’t stop feeling sad, bad, depressed, or other so-called ‘negative’ feelings. This kind of message is destructive to people who are dealing with cancer and recurrence. They are fighting for their lives and then are told they are responsible for causing their own illness. And, to make matters worse, they may feel as if they aren’t supposed to grieve or feel sad over the new hardships and major changes in their lives. Please do not allow others’ misguided attempts to encourage positive thinking to place the burden of your cancer on you. That is not accurate, and it’s not fair to you.”

Beyond an immediate – ‘My God, you poor man’ reaction I think the term ‘palleative chemo’ was what I saw most which makes me hope that the biopsy brings some better news.

Whatever the result today you and your family have a hard road ahead – I hope the wishes and good will of everyone on STW will at least help a little.

Like everyone else before me, I find it hard to say words that say anything meaningful but I hope you and your family manage to find a way through this – it really does bring into stark perspective how important it is to spend our time with those we love and focus on positive things, not negative things.

I spent most of my ride yesterday morning thinking about you and your situation (after having read your post before going out).

I cannot think of anything to add to make you feel any better other than best wishes.

I read your comments about private health care, my wife is a cancer nurse and she is adamant that the NHS cannot be beaten when it comes to cancer treatment /care.

Juan,

Do not be afraid to be afraid and worry about what the future MAY bring. These are normal emotions.

Take each day as it comes, embrace all the positive things, little or large.

I’m also in Aberdeen, so please, if you just need to talk, unload, shout, cry to a relative stranger just let me know.

Remember, nothing is a certainty.

Take care my friend, I wish you and your family the best fortune possible.

Stay strong.

Savage news, it sounds like you’ve got a fantastic support network of family, friends and (slightly strange) forumites to lean on. Don’t hesitate to use them all.

Hope all went well today.

I hope today went okay Juan. How are your wife, daughter and family bearing up? My thoughts are with you all

Evening all,

Thanks for all the supportive and kind responses.

The biopsy went fine yesterday and the doctor got a ‘good’ couple of samples which have been sent off for pathology for analysis. It felt like a bit of a kick to hear it would take 7 to 10 days for the results and once they are back they need to be reviewed with the Multi Disciplinary Team.

Mrs K and I are contacting BUPA tomorrow to see if there is any formality which we can get through now in preparation for the results in a fortnight. After reading up (only on centres of Excellence) then the Christie in Manchester looks like the place to be treated.

Had another session with my oncologist yesterday which went fine and I relayed all our thoughts back on things like being geographically mobile, wanting to participate in trials, BUPA etc. so that was made clear which she understood. When she visited I had family there with me so she could see there was good support so that was good. My first appointment in the oncology clinic is on March 22nd which feels an eon away so will see what I can do in parallel with the Christie via BUPA and my GP. The session also felt a little more positive saying looking at chemotherapy and then possibly surgery which to me sounded a little more positive so keeping a grasp of that.

The family are just simply amazing, I’m ever so lucky to have such fantastic people around me. I am finding some things tough with my daughter in not breaking down crying but holding it together so far. I was reading her bedtime stories tonight and she asked when the sweets from my work will start making me better again. I’m not sure exactly what she meant but it just crushes me.

Finally the ‘soontobe’ Mrs King is the most special caring girl I could never have met though two lifetimes not my current 44 years and counting.

I have the resolve and determination which will not change.

Thanks.

Fight it tooth and nail.

F$&k cancer

Keep at it op. And as above f%&k cancer.

All the best to you juan, hope it turns out ok.