My 20 month old daughter goes to her Grandma (my mum in law) once a week for the day whilst we’re at work. Now her Grandma smokes hamlet minatures (I know).

She’ll never smoke them inside when my daughter is there, but she does occasionally take her outside to play so she can have a fag, Also sometimes she’s blatantly just had a fag in the kitchen when we arrive in the morning.

Now I am an avid hater of smokers and get really angry, but I am yet to vent this on the mum-in-law.

Should I be worried? And should I say something? I don’t want to seem ungrateful for the childcare and she is really good with my daughter – it’s just the smoking (occasional as it may be) disgusts me.

Anybody else had this?

Pay a professional

Is sh putting your daughter at any significant risk? She is not sitting in a room with her smoking like a chimney is she?

I suggest you chill out or you will need some other childcare. Sounds like the MIL is actually making a real effort not to smoke in front of the kid.

Have a chat with her. The worst that can happen is you are divorced, disowned and killed. Not too bad!

Give over!

When I was a kid everyone smoked. Everyone. My mum and dad, the milkman, the bloke in the shop, the bus driver, the passengers, the lollipop man, the teachers at school.

I work with nurses who remember having to put out their cigarettes before attending to patients …on the coronary care ward…..

Grannie has a fag. Get over yourself..

Hamlet miniatures you say? 😆

I’d report her for smoking shit cigars myself. If she’s going to pass on secondary cancer which you obviously believe, then she might as well do it with a decent Cuban jobbie. 😉

and we had leaded paint and proper leaded petrol, and fireworks, and we put asbestos on bonfires.

You need to chill out a bit fella, life’s an adventure…as long as you’re allowed out…

I tend to agree with the above however my wife didn’t like my mum doing something similar so I asked her nicely (she does only babysit one morning a week though). She seemed to understand why I asked her to stop.

Although im an ex-smoker, when my son was born 4 years ago, I stopped smoking in the house, always went outside for a fag and he’s never seen me smoking.
I dont want him to breathe my smoke and I dont want him to see me smoking and think its acceptable later in life.
It really annoys me when i see these young mums swanning about fag in hand whilst pushing the baby in the pram. Clearly they dont GAS

i like all the “in my day” posters who are fooling themselves they arent “in my day” posters.

Its not that it may smell its teh fact your child will very quickly get used to the smell of cigarettes and may even become accustomed to nicotine. Ive never touched a fag in my life and never will but i can happily stand near smokers (as long as its not cigars) because ive always socialised with older people and generally they smoke.

I know people whoes family smoke and guess what? They smoke. They do drugs. They drink excessively and their life is going nowhere. People i know whoes families dont smoke are, in my experience, far more successful.

If it was my child i wouldnt let a smoker near them. Buy her some nicotine gum….

Maybe I need a beer – my wife says I need to chill out too.

Shame the fridge is empty.

I’m sure our Health visitor stated that due to smoke etc clinging to clothes and hair etc they reccomended leaving 45 minutes between having a fag and handling a baby!!!

Tricky one. I asked my mum to only smoke outside and give it 10 minutes before she picks my son up when she visits. You can always smell the smoke on smokers breath right after they have had 1.

she seems to be doing her best only you can decide if this is enough. I would tut and let it go personally. Your wife MUST raise the issue with her mum not you. What does she think? Probably matters a bit more than internet forum users.

The health aspect isn’t the issue.

It is that someone the child loves and admires smokes and learns from that. It is important the sprog doesn’t see Gran smoke. Beyond that – not a biggie.

interesting point Stoatsbrother.

The research says its bad to smoke and then go near kids as its carried on the clothes and breath.

Personally my son won’t go near anyone who smokes because its a disgusting habit.

im the same i dont want my little one to see my misses smoke to the point she has now packed up and only smokes when out drinking(i dont get it but meh) but as said it seems she is trying but tbf u can only go so far when there putting herself out for u

its a grey area really only you no whats best for your baby.

cheers guys

Some interesting factoids:

Smoking around a baby is known to significantly increase the risk of cot death and is thought to be the main risk factor.

A smoker continues to breathe out carbon monoxide and other byproducts for two hours after a single cigarette.

A single cigar in an unventilated room produces the same toxins as around 40 cigarettes.

also increases your childs chance of asthma as well as making it more likely for your shild to smoke. I’d either lay down the law or pay a nursery/childminder

FFS – she is not smoking in front of the kid. It would be different if she was.

wrong tandem, smoke on clothes etc also affects the child

she might as well do it with a decent Cuban jobbie

Wouldn’t that fall apart in your hands and be really hard to light? It’d probably smell a lot worse too.

should I say something?

No, your wife should.

It is that someone the child loves and admires smokes and learns from that. It is important the sprog doesn’t see Gran smoke.

see your point but I would be more worried about her seeing gran die from lung cancer. Perhaps that will guarantee she never smokes? Not sure one family member smoking will make her a smoker. None of my family smoked and I did when younger.

TJ and his ideas, what a shocker!

Wouldn’t that fall apart in your hands and be really hard to light? It’d probably smell a lot worse too.

😆

No, that would be a Scawtish jobbie

The health aspect isn’t the issue.

Presumably, though, that’s only true if you’ve decided to ignore a large quantity of medical evidence?

So let me get this right – your MIL is good enough to look after your child while you go to work and in your opinion has the blatant audacity to have a fag before you arrive in her house so as not to smoke in front of your child and you are complaining! I’m amazed that your missus (oddly not mentioned in any of this) managed to survive being brought up by such an uncaring Mother and isn’t a nicotine ridden wreck.

As you hate and find smokers so disgusting, you have no option but to find, and presumably pay, for someone else to look after your daughter.

#
doctornickriviera – Member

wrong tandem, smoke on clothes etc also affects the child

How significant in reality? Clearly smoking in front a a child so its passive smoking is not good but really how significant is this?

How significant in reality?

Daily Mail (I know but it’s late and I can’t be arsed googling pubmed etc):

“Up to 90 per cent of the nicotine from cigarette smoke can stick to walls, clothes, hair and skin, Georg Matt, a professor at San Diego State University, found.

His early research suggests the chemicals from this ‘third hand smoke’ can be swallowed, inhaled or absorbed through the skin of non-smokers, putting babies at particular risk.
The youngsters absorbed the harmful chemicals simply from touching furniture in a smoker’s house, or hugging their mothers after they had a cigarette.”

— http://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/article-399589/Even-smoking-outside-harm-baby.html

As most of the others have said if you don’t like it then pay for some childcare yourself.

The funny thing is though that most childcare is provided by young ladies who actually smoke quite a lot. They will not smoke in front of your children, but after their breaks they will come back in to the nursery or whatever place you leave your child reeking of fags, which is bad news according to some.

As for Granny smoking encouraging the little one to smoke. Well, unless you come from a really deprived area where smoking is the norm then I can’t see this happening. There is so much anti-smoking rhetoric taught to children nowadays I can’t see it happening.

Graham – but how significant? I am sure it is possible to detect but is it really going to make any difference?

Nothing in that article says how high the levels were and what increase in risk this is.

compare it to the risks of artificial fragrance in air fresheners – known to be toxic. Or Carbon monoxide from car exhausts?

I’d buy my mum fags if she would childmind to save me the 620 a month I currently pay

I agree with the fact that second hand smoke is bad and as an ex-smoker I apologise to those who have had to breathe in my smoke 😳

However, the nicotine on the walls and skin makes me wonder about what these babies are doing in these smokers’ homes? I know that when babies reach a certain age they stick things in their mouths, but they do not go around the place licking the paint and people’s skin! Plus, nicotine isn’t the baddie when it comes to health problems although it certainly does not help with the addictive properties of smoking.

LETS BAN EVERYTHING!!!!!! NOW!!!!!

There we go. sorted! Yawn

Can’t stand the stink of smoke myself – it killed both my parents painfully.

Take a look at your wife. Is she ok? Your mil raised her, and no doubt will do an equally good job of looking after her grandchild.

Settle down. 🙂

Give over!

That’s what my mum would say! 😀 (Before giving me a clip round the ear)

In my vernacular, it would be ‘be’ave yerself!’

Some interesting factoids:

A smoker continues to breathe out carbon monoxide and other byproducts for two hours after a single cigarette.

A single cigar in an unventilated room produces the same toxins as around 40 cigarettes.

Some other interesting factoids:

You car is killing the planet.

Your bike is made using sweated labour, at least to extract the raw materials.

The environmental effect of that material extraction is killing the planet.

Etc. I think you get the picture.

Fair comments, speshly the bit about cot death and that. People shouldn’t smoke around babies and young children. Which apparently isn’t the case here anyway.

If you’re that concerned, don’t let your child stay with her nan, thus depriving them both of that relationship.

Or get yer kid one of these:

And paint over the visor so they can’t see nanny being evil.

The funny thing is though that most childcare is provided by young ladies who actually smoke quite a lot. They will not smoke in front of your children, but after their breaks they will come back in to the nursery or whatever place you leave your child reeking of fags,

Is this a fact? Or something you have just assumed out of thin (nicotine filled) air?

Grandmother is probably thinking ‘it was normal doing this round the daughter (your SO) when she was growing up’ and ‘I’m doing them a favour anyway’.

Plus when you are not there. Are you sure she doesnt light up with your own daughter in the house? no one would know and after all its her house etc.

Then theres the fact that your impressionable daughter is growing up/seeing ‘Nan lighting up.

Drop her off at a Nursery. They don’t passive smoke around children there.

my mother told my gran (dads mother) that if she didn’t stop smoking she would never see me again (first grandchild) she stopped then and there and now says it was the best thing that ever happened. this all happened wehen i was about 3 weeks old (one week out of hospital)

try it 😈