Hi,

Despite being a teacher I am almost painfully shy in social situations outside of work! I am okay when with my children as they become my focus in big groups, but solo I find myself making any excuse to shy away from group activities!

Does anyone have any strategies for coping? I want to get out and do group rides, but as soon as the chance arises I find myself making excuses to not go! I live Bordon way, so I know that there are groups around….I just don’t have the stones to actually get out!

Got any mates that ride bikes that can go with you to start with?

Phil, look for a local club. I recently joined one where i moved to and everyone is really welcoming and within a few rides you’ll get to know lots more people to ride with.

chat someone up on private chat first then you will have some familiarity.

I’m abit like this when I know no one. Only thing I do is force my self. I like riding with people I know but hate new introductions outside of work. Smaller the group the easier.

military down that way, they move around lots, make friends lots, might reduce the ‘outsider’ feeling.

you are already half way there, you just asked a bunch of internet weirdos to push you into it…

Take a puppet. You remain silent and let the puppet do the talking?

chat someone up on private chat first then you will have some familiarity

Careful last time.e I did that I got a picture sent to me of a Pet snake. I don’t even like snakes.!?!

Careful last time.e I did that I got a picture sent to me of a Pet snake. I don’t even like snakes.!?!

One eyed?

Find a group ride and commit to going. I’m not confident around people I don’t know, but have had to force myself to ride with new groups.

In my experience, unless you make an active effort to engage in conversation, people will make polite small talk but will generally leave you alone. It’s then up to you if you choose to come out of your shell once you feel more comfortable.

I organise rides for my club and we get all types joining the rides. Generally the only annoying ones are the people who have no fitness or brag about how good they are, push to the front and then dawdle down the descents holding people up. You don’t appear to fit either category. Being quiet is definitely not a problem and you will be surprised how many fit that category. I would look to see if there is a local group who does introductory rides.

most mountain bikers are socially inept.

the hardest part is going.

Organise group rides for your school kids, with you as their leader and a non-liability consent form for their potential injuries? 😆

join a group of better riders, you’ll be off the back for the ride, and out of breath when you catch up. either way you’ll have an excuse for not chatting 🙂

Phil, check out the East Hants MTB group.. small, friendly, informal group of mixed abilities based in Bordon. Just request to join the group and come out for a ride when you’re ready..

The fact that you ride bikes, they ride bikes means you’ve something in common straight away. A common interest is a great way to get to know people if you find it difficult.

The people on this forum all come from different backgrounds but all share a common love of cycling, and because of that they all get along with each other really nicely all the time…. 🙂

Many thanks for the advice 🙂

Will send a request to join the East hands group! I just need to have a stern word with myself and get out of the door!

I hope my fitness is ok! It is my ability to go really really slowly in any single track/ descents that worry me 🙂

I’ll definitely come out with you at some point shortly 🙂 .
You race xc, you’ve just run a marathon (how’d it go btw?) – your fitness is good!! You’ve got nothing to worry about.

Cheers Yak!

4:45 for the marathon, I was heading for 4:30 but the wheels came off spectacularly in the last 6 miles! My best mate got round in 2:57 so I really don’t count myself as fit!! Got the medal though 🙂 Also based on my performance at the southern xc I think saying I race xc is stretching things! A ride will be good, apologies for the huge amounts of huffing, puffing and cursing when I am riding 🙂

Nice one – great run there! 🙂

Yeah, give it a go.
As one poster says a fair number of bikers aren’t brilliant socially but they’re in groups because they want to ride with others.
If it does seem impossibly uncomfortable after maybe you’ve tried a couple of clubs then consider approaching your GP for Primary Care counselling / IAPT (Improving Access to Psychological Therapies) type of support. A few sessions will often be very helpful

Phil, if you haven’t already seen it, here you go – http://singletrackworld.com/forum/topic/hampshire-riding

As others have said, start small. We’re all oddballs and weirdos anyway!

Despite my occasional (frequent) verbal diarrhoea on here I’m usually pretty quiet/reserved when I meet new people. Even with people I know I’m sometimes lost for chit chat.

My experience is so long as you can be civil, say hello, learn some names and ride at some thing roughly around the group’s pace you’ll slip in to the group over a few rides.

I’ve known my regular riding group for years and there are still occasional nights that I only say a few words.

! It is my ability to go really really slowly in any single track/ descents that worry me

You are unlikely to annoy people unless you insist on going before quicker riders. In the group I ride with people pretty much know the right order to pedal into the singletrack in. Once you know the regulars strengths and weaknesses you kind of find a pattern that works.

One of our group hardly said anything for literally years, just turned up and rode. Never bothered any of us! He chats plenty now he’s got used to our motley crew… He’s got rather fast downhill as well.

I’m not slow downhill but I’ll often go at the back of any new group I’m in – you can never tell who’s going to be fast and I hate feeling like I’m holding anyone up, so if you’re worried about your speed just hang back.

If you contact a local group and say you’re going to come along will you be more likely to commit? Remember you’re there to ride your bike, you don’t need to chat, don’t feel you have to! The group got on fine conversationally before you were there, don’t pressure yourself to be social.