The temptation to explain neural programming must be resisted :O)
The more you do something, and the more it's okay and nothing bad happens, in theory, the more embedded a particular memory becomes, and as such the easier it is for your brain to believe it will be okay. So, like, it's programming. You need to programme your brain a bit. Unfortunately, the only way to do that is to rinse and repeat. Which is horrid, cos it's hard work, not fun and you get bored of the cold sweats. I just can't think of an easier way.
It sounds a teensy bit like small cars feeling like they're being sucked towards trucks when overtaking them – that kind of thing.