Phone call from school this morning just after 9. They wanted me to take my son home because he had a swollen and cut lip (he fell off the swings last night after school). Was told he wasn’t speaking properly, they were worried about it being infected because it was swollen and that he was upset because other kids were teasing him. I pointed out he’d played an hour of tennis last night and was speaking to us fine this morning – though the person I was speaking to wasn’t making the decisions. So I went in, saw my son and spoke to the head – who did accept that he didn’t have to go home if he was OK, and whilst he suggested I should take him to minor injuries to get checked he also agreed that was my decision (I said that I’d see how he was after school, though I did have a good look last night with that in mind and decided they wouldn’t do anything – the head actually agreed they probably wouldn’t do anything when I said that to him!) I also pointed out it was swollen like that straight after – fairly sure it’s not infected, if it does get infected we’ll sort it out. Asked son if he was happy staying in school and he said yes.

So it all turned out OK, but is that normal and reasonable from the school to ask me to pick him up in the first place? Anybody else have something similar?

he was upset because other kids were teasing him

You will be having the talk this weekend about peeing in the shoes of his enemies, won’t you?

It was only really that which gave me pause for thought, because he does have trouble interacting with other kids – if he’d said anything about that when I was there, or if the head had mentioned it as a reason I might have wanted to sit down for more of a talk at least. Though it’s something he has to cope with one way or the other.

It sounds reasonable to be concerned about a student with an injury; the school has a duty of care towards your child. However, it may have been better to have had the conversation with you prior to requesting that you collect him.

Look at it the other way; if your son was injured and being teased / bullied and they hadn’t flagged it as an issue promptly . . . in that situation I would be deeply worried about the school.

It shouldn’t be something he has to cope with. That shouldn’t form any part of the schools reasons for having him come home. Deal with the bullies, not remove your son.

Not surprised the school contacted you. Did you communicate with the school about it. They probably aren’t sure whether or not it was getting worse etc.

No, sounds like he’s just fine to me, and you’re dead right to send him in to get on with it. Does also possibly depend if he’s 5 or 15 though [edit – and have just seen your comment about problems interacting which may be a concern, but that’s for the school to deal with the bullies rather than the other way round – what next, asking you to keep him off because he’s had a haircut / got new shoes / got a spot and it gives the bullies something to aim for]

My 11y.o.daughter got kicked on the thumb playing in goal last Friday lunchtime – we didn’t get any notification from the school, it was her that raised it at home that evening and at the weekend when it was still painful so Sun pm we took her to the MIU who confirmed it was possibly fractured and needed splinting to prevent a ‘mallet finger’ problem.

When i reported it to the school (her teacher) his major concern was that she wasn’t going to be fit to play in the county finals of mixed tag rugby on Wednesday.

Am I a poor parent for making her wait 48 hours with a suspected broken thumb? AIBU for thinking the school absolutely has their priorities right, and that kids should be expected to turn up with bruises and scrapes on a regular basis because it shows they’re being proper kids rather than cosseted by over-protective parents. Am i secretly proud that she had the kiddie equivalent of two nurofen on Saturday night but apart from that just got on with it and is gutted to have to miss out on sport for 4 weeks now.

Am i secretly proud that she had the kiddie equivalent of two nurofen on Saturday night but apart from that just got on with it and is gutted to have to miss out on sport for 4 weeks now.

Our friend’s daughter once dislocated her toe messing about – a proper toe at a wonky angle going bright blue and swollen make your eyes water just looking at it job. Parents concerned and preparing to take her to A&E told her that sadly she couldn’t go to her friend’s birthday party as she needed to go to hospital. Grumpy face…hobbles off into another room….small yelp from room and she comes wandering back in….”all fine now, I can go to the party”. She’d just popped it back in on her own. Hard as nails – you’d not mess with her!

To answer your post I think the only thing you could/should have done differently is send a note in say you are aware of the lip, assessed it was ok. Ask them to monitor it and if it’s got worse you’ll take her to hospital in the evening. If she arrived a bit broken without context from the parent it does put more pressure on the school to ‘do the right thing’.

no you are not but the reality is these days schools are very risk averse as they have been sued for all sprts of reasons

The response these days is to make sure they have passed the buck to you so that if his lips fall of [ obvs unlikely] then it wont be there fault as they told/advised/discussed you taking him home and you declined.

Had i been you I would have done the same, had I been the school i would have done the same

Its called covering your arse because some parents are right whinge bags. As a teacher I have done this many a time over the years. Shouldn’t have to. Little things like this are life but not all parents are so sensible. Kids often don’t tell anyone when they hurt themselves and no one, parent or teacher can work around that.

Thanks all – reassuring in all ways, and I wasn’t seeing the POV of the school clearly (that does explain why the head was happy to let him stay when I’d had a chat). I should have sent him in with a note or spoken to his teacher, but it hadn’t really occurred to me there was an issue (which is why I was rather surprised to get the call).

I’d like to think they’d know I’m not the sort to sue them or even complain about something like this (they know me well enough – I’m on first name terms with the head, it felt kind of strange addressing each other by surnames as we did with my son there!) though I guess they have to have a universal policy.

What about the standard head injury letters…
We get several a week for our super clumbsy son! It keeps the log burner alight in the depths of winter..!

DrP

We get several a week for our super clumbsy son!

Calls social work dept.

What about the standard head injury(and) injury letters…

So totally unnecessary and creates a culture of fear for staff and that not a single hair on Tarquin’s head can be split without investigations and questions of staff and school.

From the day they can roll in a cot, bumps and scrapes are part and parcel of our lives, particularly children and particularly if they have a broad range of experiences and opportunities for learning, play, development and life.

grrr

If anything I think they might have to call you for their CYA but calling about sending him home and you going in is a bit far.

I don’t remember the last time my 7yr old went to school without an “injury”..but I really doubt I ever did either.

It was only really that which gave me pause for thought, because he does have trouble interacting with other kids – if he’d said anything about that when I was there, or if the head had mentioned it as a reason I might have wanted to sit down for more of a talk at least. Though it’s something he has to cope with one way or the other.

Could it be that he was questioned in class in front of other kids and didn’t want to explain how it happened (which is totally understandable)???

no you are not but the reality is these days schools are very risk averse as they have been sued for all sprts of reasons

The schools have been sued line is simply not true. Myth and fear. Combined with the fact that no one dare argue over H&S or legal ‘rules’.

BBC news story flagrantly manipulates statistics on school accident claims

The schools have been sued line is simply not true.

Yes they have, I’ve been a witness!!
It maybe doesnt happen as much as people, including teachers, think but it does happen. If you are going to try and bat back sometbing as being incorrect use of stats and language you should make sure you are right too.

Cue the arrival of THM to correct my spelling!!

25 years in schools and I am sorry to report that the American style “see you in court” is alive and very well.

Every teacher will follow the schools accident reporting policy by the letter. Any transgression and it’s fubar time.

The schools have been sued line is simply not true. Myth and fear

Also been sued …they did not win but it cost 6k to defend whilst they got legal aid.

Perhaps these are outliers and perhaps its hampered by teachers spreading the rumours when it only happened once in twenty years but it does happen.

It maybe doesn’t happen as much as people, including teachers, think but it does happen.

I agree there are incidents.
The issue being that there are a few issues, which get blown out of proportion, many of which are not (now) successful.
This then becomes easily spouted in the internet, so further strengthening the myths of how much litigation goes on, so putting more head teachers in fear.
The cycle is being broken, by legal precedent, HSE guidance, RoSPA guidance and new national toolkits from PSF, OEAP and SAPOE to name three.

OP needs to check mumsnet for further abbreviations such as DS1, DW etc to complete the school rant

So it all turned out OK, but is that normal and reasonable from the school to ask me to pick him up in the first place?

you are a rational human being, other parents are not and could cause an unholy stink about this and take every opportunity to try to extract money from the school, repay old grudges etc, it’s the ambulance/blame/claim society we live in. the school are covering their backs, sensibly in this day and age sadly.

I don’t think I’d have stayed very focussed if I received that phone call. A combination of wondering if it was 1st April and desire to throw sarcasm back at them would leave me incoherent I’m sure.

Kids teasing for a swollen lip doesn’t classy as bullying in my book. It’s normal and I’d expect it. If we stop our kids from facing ANY difficulty while growing up we’ll end up with a load of effin pansies who can’t fend for themselves!

“Kids teasing for a swollen lip doesn’t classy as bullying in my book. It’s normal and I’d expect it. If we stop our kids from facing ANY difficulty while growing up we’ll end up with a load of effin pansies who can’t fend for themselves!”

This+1 When I was at school bullying was being physically and/or verbally attacked on a regular basis. Nowadays children complain of being bullied if someone says something that slightly upsets them. It may be uncalled for, but hardly bullying. If I went into work with a split lip, I’m pretty sure I’d get some taunting, but all in good fun, it would be a dull place without a bit of ‘bantz’.

You wouldn’t believe the number of children who come to me at 9.05am complaining of all sorts of ailments and injuries. My first response is “what did Mum/Dad/Carer say when you told them this morning?” The response is usually “didn’t tell them,” or “They just told me to get on with it.” To which my reply is usually “if mum/dad/carer think you’re ok, then just get on with it and we’ll see how you get on,” or “if it’s so bad why didn’t you tell mum/dad/carer.” Quite often children are playing for the sympathy vote or want attention from their friends/other adults.

Of course there are cases where there is clearly some physical pain. There are some cases where there is a child protection issue and there are some cases where kids go to school even when there is a problem because parents might be losing out on a day’s pay. It’s a balancing act of trying to work out what really is the case. It’s usually obvious when a child is swinging the lead compared to when there is really a problem.

On the bullying front. It’s only bullying if the same children are continuously targeting the same child(ren). Teasing happens everywhere like it or not. I had a boy today who didn’t take his coat (or hood) off because he was cold, yet he’s the biggest toughest boy in the class (so he thinks). Turns out his mum had cut his hair and left him with a couple of mm of hair on his head. He was scared the others would laugh that he was bald. He’s one of the most unlikely ones to be bullied.

As for teachers being scared of being sued, very few consider this when someone gets injured in school. We want to make sure a child is being looked after and comfortable first and foremost. Even fewer think that they will get sued when a child turns up with a scrape. That said most of my parents will let me know if their child has a scrape or has been complaining of feeling a little unwell.

Testing the water for child protection I’d say, a note or a chat with the teacher would have meant this wouldn’t have happened.