Sad sad day I had to put my dog to sleep, with a question (dignity)

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Sad sad day I had to put my dog to sleep, with a question (dignity)

36 posts & 30 voices | Started 2 years ago by saladdodger | Latest reply from Del

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saladdodger - Member

I am gutted needless to say, she was brilliant but time took its course and at 14 I had to put my retrevier to sleep, but do not get me wrong I have realy happy memories of her.

It was a simple thing ( do not get me wrong I cried) and she just fell asleep in a peacefull way no stress and no discomfort.

But 3 years ago lost my father who suffered a long illness (dementia)and suffered for his last 2 years and the last 2 days of his life he was full of morphine

The question is. Why oh why can we be kinder to out pets than we can to our parents

Posted 2 years ago #
lowey - Member

Sorry for your loss mate, but your also bang on.

Posted 2 years ago #
coolhandluke - Member

+1 sorry for your loss.

We lost our retriever nearly 2 years ago now and it took us (me) 14 months before I considered another companion. Leo was great, if a bit mad, wacky, naughty, noisy, dirty, loyal, occasionally obedient etc. He was 7 and had a heart problem, fit as a fiddle too.

We now have a Labrador (who's quiet, calm, dirty, naughty and will steal chocolate at 100 paces and will jump in muddy puddles and put his head right in ) from the rescue center, Ronnie. He was 4 when we got him and he's ace.

Things do get better, it just takes time.

Posted 2 years ago #
Ti29er - Member

Toby, my 14.5 yr old Lab is hanging in there - just!
Sorry to hear of your loss.

My own father is perhaps 18 months (?) away from going into a home with dimentia.

It comes to us all, and no matter that as pet owners we suffer the loss of a loved one(s) thrughout our lives with the various dogs, cats, etc we share I lives with, it never makes it any easier to bear.

Posted 2 years ago #
TandemJeremy - Member

I am with you 100%. In a humane world we would be able to. I blame the god botherers

Posted 2 years ago #
Ti29er - Member

This is your answer. The Hippocratic Oath

Posted 2 years ago #
saladdodger - Member

Yep you are right

Vets have far better principles

TJ thank you, and for once we agree

Posted 2 years ago #
cynic-al - Member

Legally it would be a total minefield.

Posted 2 years ago #
monkey_boy - Member

Sorry to hear about your loss...

I agree... my father was diagnosed with terminal cancer may 2007, died in the november...

naturally we all saw the slow decline from what was once a proud, quiet man into somebody we didn't recognise in the last few weeks.

if dad knew how he would have ended up and the pain that all of us and especially mum would feel there is noway on this earth he would have put us or himself through that.

still huants me to this day, the things that stay in your mind.

sitting quietly by his bed talking to him and hearing the syringe driver doing its work..

sorry if thats a bit morbid but it actually helps to write it down...

Life goes on.............

Posted 2 years ago #
oldfart - Member

Sorry to hear that andy .Had the same with my dad in his last 2 years .
if your'e around sunday perhaps you fancy a ride on the Qs .Paul's about and Ali as well i think .

Posted 2 years ago #
cinnamon_girl - Member

saladdodger - I am sorry to hear that (used to be a Retriever owner too). I agree completely with what you are saying though. My father has dementia, is in a nursing home and celebrated his 89th birthday a couple of weeks ago.

Just remember the good times you had with your dog and Retrievers are such characters anyway.

Posted 2 years ago #
bruk - Member

Sorry to hear about both of your losses. It never gets easier to lose pets.

It's unfortunately a much more complex argument with people than animals. More in the way of supportive and palliative care is available for humans at no obvious direct cost unlike pets.

Euthanasia of humans even voluntary is a subject that no government is likely to take on as there are very polarised and vocal views esp from the religious side. Cowardice from politicians should be no surprise.

Sadly Dr Shipman's case has meant that doctors are probably more wary of speeding exits with morphine etc.

Posted 2 years ago #
saladdodger - Member

yes MB I understand too well

guess at times it is good to talk eh

Posted 2 years ago #
doctornickriviera - Member

Not being funny but with the current financial situation i don't want bean counting NHS managers pushing me to "bump off" expensive terminally ill patients to save a few quid.

However the life is sacred brigade will stop any assisted death route coming into place. Also us Docs are constantly covering our backs post Shipman. One man's interpreation of morphine to help sufferring could be interpreted by someone else or the police as murder.

I think the real tragedy in the NHS is that the support of the terminally ill is largey funded by charities and not governments- macmillan/marie curie etc. When you think of what we do fund in the NHS and the fact that we all have to die sometime, surely adequate resources for the care of the dying should be a higher priority than they currently are.

Posted 2 years ago #
The Tall Man - Member

Sorry to hear about the loss of your dog. I know exactly how you feel. We had a cat that we loved very much. He was a great cat and it was very upsetting when we had to have him put down. The fact that he became so ill so quickly made it more so. In time we got another one, a Ragdoll type and he has filled the void left.

Posted 2 years ago #
zaskar - Inactive

All the best.

I just focus on happy times but it gets can easily be just as upsetting.

Posted 2 years ago #
stratobiker - Member

saladdodger - sorry to hear that dude....
Dwell on the good times and give thanks.

SB

Posted 2 years ago #
Woody - Member

My sympathies re your dog. There is comfort in that she probably had a fantastic happy life with you and you can't ask for any more than that.

I'm also 100% behind TJ on what he said. How many of those wheeled out when a euthanasia debate comes along have actually had to deal with the 'sharp end' of caring for people who are only around because of modern medicine and carers who attend to ALL their basic functions? It is unsatisfactory and often distressing for all concerned.

As a Paramedic, my colleagues and I deal with this on a daily basis, and most are agreed they would never want to end up in the same situation as many patients. The best that appears to be on offer (officially) is the DNAR order (do not attempt resuscitation) which was also responsible for one of the most harrowing deaths I have ever witnessed.

I can't see a solution any time soon as even doctors are unable to agree on the issue and lawyers would be rubbing their hands together.

Posted 2 years ago #
cinnamon_girl - Member

One thing that helped me tremendously was this - having my dog cremated and being able to keep her ashes. I scattered some of them in her favourite places, including Swinley Forest. The rest of them are at my new home. I find it comforting but realise it isn't right for everyone.

Posted 2 years ago #
bigbloke - Member

Sorry for your loss. We had to let our lovely Boxer boy go a couple of years ago, he was nearly 10 and a shadow of himself with fits, brain tumour etc.I know it was the right thing to do, but i have to admit it was the hardest thing i have done all my life, and can't believe that still to this day i kind of feel i let him down in some way almost to the point of thinking of myself as killing him rather than helping him, a thought that even whilst writing this eats me up. The vet and everyone else said it was for the best but just can't shake this feeling.

We now have 2 more boxers that are lovely girls but if i'm honest i don't have a great bond with them, if at all, i see them as my wife's dogs. Maybe it's a knock on effect of the feelings of guilt i have, who knows.
Everyone i guess has a different perspective on these thing's. I would hate to think what it would be like if the option was available for humans, especially for those left behind.

Posted 2 years ago #
rOcKeTdOg - Member

sorry to hear this Andy, dogs aren't really pets they are family members too, agree totally with your sentiments

Posted 2 years ago #
cinnamon_girl - Member

bigbloke - no, you did not let him down. You obviously cared for him very deeply and thus made the right decision to end his pain and discomfort. You must move forward.

Posted 2 years ago #
takisawa2 - Member

Sorry to hear about your dog mate. Went through the same with my Westie-Cross last year.

And totally agree with you.

Posted 2 years ago #
valleydaddy - Member

sorry to hear about your losses, we lsot our lab last year, great dog loved by everyone who came across her.

Used to go to school with my dad, headteacher, for petting days, she used to love the fuss of 300+ kids

miss her to this day, still have a terrier but as someothers have sais he's the wife's dog, so thinking of getting another dog for myself but don't know what to get?? ideas?

Posted 2 years ago #
snowpaul - Member

sorry mate - i know how you feel. chin up etc - it will get better

paul

Posted 2 years ago #
Woody - Member

bigbloke

You sound about as soft as me when it comes to animals You know you did the right thing so please enjoy the dogs you have now otherwise you will regret it.

I had a fantastic dog (he was to me anyway) put down years ago on the advice of the vet, wife and others. It still eats me up that it was the wrong decision and I should have kept the dog and got shot of the (now ex anyway) wife and saved years of grief

Posted 2 years ago #
devs - Member

Some may remeber I was in your situation in Novemeber when my 15 year old pal Duke had a stroke and we had to put him down. We still think and talk of him every day but we replaced him with a puppy very quickly. I got a rescue lurcher pup and we called him Axl. He's a shade over 6 months now and when I finish my main ride I bolt on an additional 3-4 miles with him. He loves it and is an absolutely brilliant trail dog. I can't wait until he's older and able to come out on longer rides with me. My sis visited this week so I was out with my lurcher and her ridgeback and it was just an amazing feeling having them run one either side of my back wheel. I'll never forget Duke or Ozzy before him but life goes on, just because you enjoyed the past doesn't mean you can't find stuff in the present and future to enjoy. Chin up, it will get better.

Posted 2 years ago #
waynekerr - Member

Gutted for you, you have my sympathy.

Posted 2 years ago #
mrmo - Member

my gran recently died at the age of 99, she had spent the last 7 years a husk, yes she was 'alive' but there was nothing there. I recently discovered that she had asked my mum and uncle about 10 years ago to do something, she was aware of what was happening as she had watched her own mother drift into dementia.

My own mums opinion, she is going to carry on smoking as hopefully cancer will be a quicker death than what she had seen her mum and grandmother go through. Surely there must be a better way?

Posted 2 years ago #
ddmonkey - Member

Couldn't agree more, have been through similar experiences but was "lucky" in that my Mum had a peaceful and timely death due to MND, so we were spared her being taken into hospital and all the indignity that would follow.

There has to be a better way to deal with these issues, the Hippocratic Oath is outdated and needs to be amended to be about acting in the patient's best interests, not just maintaining life no matter what.

Posted 2 years ago #
giantonagiant - Member

Sorry to hear your news, I hope that you are able to think about good times you had.
Best Wishes.

Posted 2 years ago #
elaine anne - Member

i had to put one of my whippets to sleep a few months ago... its the worse thing ever... i was gutted....im missing her... but her legacy carries on as i have one of her pups (who is now 4 year old)...
its heart renching tho..... i miss her dearly...

Posted 2 years ago #
coffeeking - Member

I think part of the problem is we need to protect humans from other humans who are cunning enough to use it as an excuse for murder. Also, because as with animals it's very hard for one person to define when another person should put their pet down. We have kept animals a little longer than some would, because we were willing to take care of it, deal with it's extra difficulties (we re-arranged our house to be more blind, old-cat friendly, we spent 2 years mopping up after a cat that was incontinent after a car accident snapped it's spin (which eventually regained full control and was a happy cat again), both of those cats we were told to put them down by the majority of our well-meaning neighbours and even the vet said "I will if you want, but it depends how much effort you want to put in". Not that I'm against it, but I think it introduces too many personal variables into the taking of a life.

Posted 2 years ago #
molgrips - Member

The argument against euthaniasia goes like this:

If an old person is allowed to consider themselves a burden, they could ask for euthanasia Captain Oates style which would be grossly unfair.

If an old person is actively encouraged to consider themselves a burden by someone unscrupulous, then that would be murder by the back door. Emotional murder if you like.

I'm sure I'll have a hard time convincing my Mum that she's not dragging everyone down when she gets old and frail.. if she could just call up a doc and get the easy way out she probably would in such a situation - which would not be nice.

So you see it is a minefield; simply citing the Hippocratic oath is way over-simplistic.

Posted 2 years ago #
spacemonkey - Member

Sorry to hear your sad news SD - I've just been through this myself. I also agree with your sentiments regarding pets and humans - hopefully things will change for the positive in the near future.

Another tuppence in case you (or indeed Ti29er and anyone else) find this of use ... my 15/16yr old (Bert) had a stroke in the middle of the night a few days ago and we had to rush her to the vets to be put to sleep. Absolutely devastating. For a day or so after, I just couldn't think straight regarding burial/cremation, but ... after getting my thoughts together and doing some research, I found a local pet crem (certified) and opted for them to provide an individual cremation and casket (with me doing a personal drop-off and pick-up instead of them). Bert has now been home for a few days and I feel a lot "better" as a result.

I only mention this because I had no idea how messed up my mind was going to be for those 2-3 days. Sure, we handle these things differently, but for some of us it can be particularly unpleasant. Also, I had piece of mind having met the people at the crem. So overall I felt I was doing the best thing for us and Bert.

Like I say, just my tuppence ...

Posted 2 years ago #

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