Being a very petty individual, I recently started moaning at Tesco on Twitter about the fact I was unable to buy simple things like loose lemons/sweet potatoes on their website for the last week. This is despite the fact that I know they are available instore.

The last reply I got from their customer service was:

Hi Jamie, I’m sorry we are not able to put everything we stock in store onto our website due to limited space. – Chloe

This sounds stupid….but…and I cannot believe I am asking this, can a company, the size of Tesco, run out of *sigh* space on their website?

I imagine that the customer service bod asked a content/dev bod why they weren’t there and they said something like:

To represent every possible kind of individual fruit and veg would involve vastly increasing the number of items in that section of the site. To enable customers to find the items they want in amongst this cornucopia would require us to add filtering and searching which will confuse customers and reduce conversion. Added to this picking individual items will reduce the efficiency of our in store operations and increase costs.

This in the mind of the customer service bod got turned into:

We’re running out of space.

Maybe it’s space in the fulfillment centre rather than the server that is the issue.

Makes sense since the space taken by a potato on a server in smaller than the space taken by a potato in a warehouse.

How big are the lemons?

How big bitter are the lemons?

Maybe it’s space in the fulfillment centre rather than the server that is the issue.

Home shopping orders don’t come from a fulfillment centre, the order is picked and delivered by specific stores.

its getting harder and harder to buy loose fruit and veg anyway – its turning into a bag of this and a bag of that all the time , despite trying there are only so many garlic bulbs i can use in 3 months – i dont need a bag of 6 of the ****.

How big bitter are the lemons?

They are very sour.

…and as per, Gary. This is coming direct from the store.

Basically it seems part of their system if knackered, and no-one really seems to know why.

despite trying there are only so many garlic bulbs i can use in 3 months – i dont need a bag of 6 of the ****.

Use more garlic then, every meal should have a minimum of 3 cloves in it….

Depends how their database is configured – it could be that adding extra fields etc that might be required for loose fruit and veg would add extra coding complications. Plus all the bug testing to make sure someone ordering 500g of spuds doesn’t get 500 spuds 😉

another system that is knackered is the self scan area when you buy deli items, it seems you can buy a slice of corned beef and stick a side of fillet in your bag as it cant do deli weights so reverts to null.

Dont complain about this one though please Jamie 😉

Dont complain about this one though please Jamie

Given the current common sense blackhole I am currently coming up against, I really wouldn’t worry even if I did complain about it.

Latest is that lemons might not be available due to the hot weather.

it seems you can buy a slice of corned beef and stick a side of fillet in your bag as it cant do deli weights so reverts to null.

Actually, are the deli items not barcoded now when you get them at the counter?

I think it’s time for an email to the CEO.

Dear, Tesco Big Cheese.

WHERE ARE MY LEMONS!

Love and Kisses,

Jamie

Limes are better in your G+T anyway.
And since they’re smaller, they should take up less space in the store and the online store.

Shouldn’t you all be shopping at Lidl and Alid anyway? I thought Tesco was supposed to be out of vogue these days…

I thought Tesco was supposed to be out of vogue these days…

Tesco, for all their non-stocking flaws, offer me the best package.

Decent website (not as good as Ocado admittedly), just down the road, free click & collect.

It’s just a few curious glitches in their systems, and their lack of ability to do anything about it, which sometimes grates.

Edit: VICTORY!

In celebration, I am going to have a lemon party at mine. Going to invite my Uncle Richard, as you can’t have a lemon party without old Dick.

Lidl and Alid‘s online shopping isn’t up to much.

I think they’re saving the space for a new line of heated wing mirrors or something. Fairly sure there was an article in The Grocer about it before anyone get’s all “citation needed”.