I’ve had Urticaria (a nettle sting like rash linked to an over-active immune system) for two years and have tried quite a few different medications (some quite scary), but am now settled on a very high dose of antihistamines, the plus side of this is that I’ve now developed the Rubbish Super-Power of being immune to Stingy Nettles.

What Rubbish Super-Powers do you have?

I attract all biting insects ,this saves people with me ,lots of pain and discomfort .

I get very little thanks , just glad to be of some use . 😉

I can do perfect poached eggs.

I can do perfect poached eggs

No way is that a rubbish super power 🙂

I can fall off a bicycle on a flat, straight piece of fireroad.

it doesn’t half impress the ladeez.

minefield savant.

My legs attract all sharp, hard and dirty objects that might otherwise harm others. My legs save lives, people.

Life saving legs – a big hit with the laydeez.

I can detect the faintest whiff of perfume at 100yds and signal its presence by sneezing repeatedly and snottily.

it doesn’t half impress the laydeez.

My mate’s girlfriend warned us off about talking about someone else behind their back because “they might have X-ray Hearing…”. That’s go to be a rubbish superpower…

I many powers which can clear a room in a very short space of time. Handy if you like being alone…..

Faced with a steep section of trail, I can ride down it slower than most folks would consider possible. I’ve been used as a demonstration by a coach- “Look how slowly you can do it! Loads of grip for all that unnecessary braking! You don’t need to be brave at all!”

Cowardly Unnecessary Braking Man, that’s me.

I once fought off a pack of 8-10(possibly rabid) dogs in the pitch black in Guatemala with a parker pen.

That is actually true

I can transport myself short distances, sort of miniselftelekinesis.

this might sound useful, and it would be if I could extend the distance and also control the when and where. At the moment however it’s limited to the distance between my bike and the ground / patch of brambles / nearest bush, and seems to happen randomly.

I also seem to be have a sixth sense, of being able to predict exactly when my wife has no interest in having sex with me. Signified by a stirring in the trousers and feeling of general horniness, it’s a sure sign that she has absolutely no reciprocal feeling. I don’t think I’m unique in this one though.

Im completely immune to the subtle signs of female attraction. 😳

I also seem to be have a sixth sense, of being able to predict exactly when my wife has no interest in having sex with me. Signified by a stirring in the trousers and feeling of general horniness, it’s a sure sign that she has absolutely no reciprocal feeling. I don’t think I’m unique in this one though.

The antidote to marriage is divorce.

I am
Never-Make-a-Right-Decision Man.

I am able, simply by opening my mouth and allowing noise to come out of it, either cause people to go to sleep or leave the room.

It’d be quite a useful superpower if I could turn it on and off at will. But I can’t.

My super power is this:

I seem to induce a lengthy monologue from folks I have just met. This invariably happens when in a group of newby sailors/MTB’ers/Windsurfers/Kitesurfers in fact any sport I have been doing for quite some years.

It’s just rubbish, I have the attention span of a Gnat and get bored all too easily. Walking off/or feigning mild amusement mid sentence seems to enhance my other superpower, killing said monologue/sentence dead. I have used this other power very successfully.

Now that IS a superpower I bet you all wish You had.

My farts can cause serious structural damage to buildings

PAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARP!!!!

I can persuade an entire pub quiz team to abandon their correct answer in favour of my incorrect one.
“Thriller? Yes, that was by Abba. Trust me, I’m 100% certain on this one”

They’re not so good on dates though. They told me the last quiz was on Wednesday night, when in fact it was on Tuesday.

I am
Never-Make-a-Right-Decision Man.

when did you reach that conclusion?

I once fought off a pack of 8-10(possibly rabid) dogs in the pitch black in Guatemala with a parker pen.

[British explorer voice]

“Cease and desist in your unwanted nocturnal attentions you rabid canines or I shall be forced to write a very stiff letter of complaint to the London Times using this very fountain pen which I have carried with me since I was in the lower sixth against just such an eventuality”

cue whimpering and skulking off with tails between legs.

[/British explorer voice]

I am – Lights Barbecue First Time and Without Fuss Girl.

I am – Lights Barbecue First Time and Without Fuss Girl.

That’s an awesome superpower!

/squints suspiciously.
Is it boosted by turps?

Using my amazing rubbish superpowers, I can single-handedly repulse any female* of our species from a range of 100 yards. Using this incredible skill, I am never bothered by wanted / unwanted female attention which would otherwise distract me in my task of saving the world. Easily-tempted men – let me accompany you to save you from yourselves! I can also use this skill to make otherwise perfectly contented babies and small children scream and cry.

* Except Mrs O – thankfully.

jivehoneyjive – Member

I once fought off a pack of 8-10(possibly rabid) dogs in the pitch black in Guatemala with a parker pen.

Pff, that’s not impressive- I could do that using a sword, and everyone knows the pen is… ah, sod it, I can’t be bothered, you know the punchline.

My sprpwr s t rd vry qckly

😆 at with Northwind

I can clear dancefloors, almost without fail, though not necessarily for the right reasons~ this is an internationally proven talent as I have managed it in most of the continents of the world; even though I can’t really breakdance for toffee and just flail about a bit… One time in Cardiff, whilst extremely drunk, I was goaded into battling with the UKs finest and just kind of fell over and wriggled about much to everyones horror/amusement.

The ladyeez feel sorry for me, but it seems to do the job

I can swim in very cold water (e.g. 2 degree C for 10 minutes at -5C air temp).

A very fun but essentially useless skill (which took a hell of a lot of time to learn).

I can put on weight just by thinking about cakes 😡

I can, with just a mere look and just a few polite conversation making words, invite a myriad of a strangers opinions on subjects I don’t care about.

FI ” Hi there”
Person ” Hello”
FI ” it’s quite humid today isn’t it?”
Person ” yeah, that’s one thing these bloody gypsies don’t have to worry about with their bloody caravans, they can have as much fresh air as they want, something else they get they don’t deserve and pay absolutely bugger all for. Make me sick the lot of them. I’ll tell you if they come round my street I’ll knock there blocks off but then it’ll be me that ends up locked up. That’s the problem with society isn’t it, it’s all the wrong way round. The police side with the perpetrators now, forget the victims. That’s why we need more people like Murcdoch. He’s a decent chap who cares about normal people. He wants justice like the pedophile campaign he did in the Sun. Make me sick that lot, should all be locked up, just like the darkies…..”

FI ” bye then”

the plus side of this is that I’ve now developed the Rubbish Super-Power of being immune to Stingy Nettles.

That’s not a rubbish superpower! I wish I had that one. 🙁

My wife has the ability to be friend and goddess to all insects. They love her and want to be around her all the time. The only trouble is, she hates insects, so for her it’s a pretty appalling superpower.

I just think it’s hilarious.

I can bite a palate-sized chunk out of an empty 330ml can.

I have no idea where/why I found this out.

I am capable of deploying a most fearsome power:

Tangent Man – the ability to be asked a simple question and turn the answer into a long and rambling anecdote on an entirely unrelated subject, I mean last night for instance I was moving some household objects and did you know that fridges are not as heavy as washing machines which reminds me of the time I gave myself a pretty severe electric shock in a flat I rented cuase the washing machine woud only fit under the counter if your took the top off and whilst discovering this I nosily started poking around inside it whilst it was still plugged in and so on and so on…

37″ inside leg

37″ inside leg

A 37″ 3rd leg would be more impressive 😆

I have immunity to lycra syndrome.

I am able to over-complicate things just by thinking about them.

I can always, always, pick the wrong queue to stand in in a supermarket

I can always, always, pick the wrong queue to stand in in a supermarket

That’s not a superpower, that’s the law!