i'm going to sulk now until you buy me enough things to be forgiven.
Two words my friend: Separation anxiety. I like your dog too much to whisk you away for bromance and gentle strolls along European riverbanks.
If you had any 'lady-skills' at all, you wouldn't even be thinking about it. You see, if you give, they expect. If you don't give, they expect, but don't expect. Clear yeah?
Do you do correspondence classes?