After reading the first aid question thread it got me thinking “what’s the worst injury I’ve had to my plumbing” so figured I’d start this thread!

Years of skateboarding resulted in a lot of top down board / nut interfaces, but I think my worst was being head butted in the junk whilst having a drunken (not serious) fight with a friend. Glad I was hammered as the pain was ridiculous and there was serious bruising and swelling involved.

Hit me with your leg crossingly, sharp intake of breath tales of testicular torture 🙂

Is that the G string?

Edit – no, it’s E – no extra joke there then 🙁

vasectomy, Doctor started second nut without giving the anaesthetic time to work!

Banjo *wince* string… I think.

As a kid I liked to challenge myself. And I also liked walking on walls and things. Once, aged five or six, there was this fence made from pieces of probably 18mm ply. I walked along it, and slipped.

Lots of sucking of air through teeth at the A&E there was.

I used to be reasonable hockey goalie.
One year our club went to an indoor tournament. It’s a different style of play and I wasnt really paying attention.

Particularly when I charged down a flick, but slipping on the indoor pitch lino, I flung my legs out akimbo presenting my (now poorly protected) groin. I took the full force of the flicked ball in the veg basket.

it took a good 10 minutes to get up off the floor and not-recommended levels of NSAID to move without whimpering. My fiance was not impressed, but the variety of colours that my scrotum turned over the next three weeks was positively Munchian.

I was kicked full on in the vegetables whilst playing rugby. The little big chap didn’t work for three months. Kind of spoils your enjoyment of a social life at 19 years old.

I used to be reasonable hockey goalie.

I once saw Stefan Ketola (Manchester Storm ice hockey) take a slap-shot to the nads so hard that it shattered the box he was wearing. I don’t imagine that was a fun evening.

Not me, but someone I coached kayaking. Running the Crake in the South Lakes, headed down the last rapid to the get-out to set up safety for our Uni club. First couple get down alright, then hear a shot of ‘swimmer!’ from upstream. Lad comes past, curled up in a ball, weeping quietly and making no attempt to get to the bank, so I wade in and haul him out, drag him onto the side and check on him. He doesn’t un-curl, just lies there, foetal, crying.

He’d swum quite early on in the rapid, and done most of the right things – on his back, feet first. Unfortunately, he’d neglected to keep his feet together, and as the water picked up speed down the slope, he’d met a rock crotch-first. By the evening the bruise had come out and spread from the back of his knees to the small of his back, via a very abused and swollen scrotum. He unhappily accepted the nickname ‘Santa’ after that one.

Banjo string. I was young and horny and with a wiling lady so pushed on. Made a bit of a mess that did.
Took a few in the spuds playing football too but no long term damage I don’t think!

Think Pyro’s rapids and rock related trouser rooster injury is winning so far. Made my stomach drop reading that. 😥

My son, aged 4 at the time, jumped through the paper I was reading and landed knees first in the unmentionables.

The day after, whilst filling up the car with diesel, I passed out, smacking my head on the back of the car as I went down.

Night in hospital.

All of this occurred on the second day of our holiday and about 30 miles from our holiday accommodation. The wife doesn’t drive so she and kids went back in a taxi and I went 40 miles the other way in an ambulance. The day after when I was discharged I then had to get back.