If you have ever slipped out into the garden (one moon-lit night) for a danger-w***

WTF ? !.

If I were of that persuasion.

I’d hardly be bothered about a techinical infringement of fly tipping regs….

Farmer guilty of damaging one of Derbyshire’s finest conservation sites

A Derbyshire farmer has been ordered to pay financial penalties totalling £18,710 and to carry out restoration work at his own expense, after admitting to carrying out un-authorised activities in an area legally protected for its rare geological features and upland habitats, within the Peak District National Park.

Robert Hall of Longnor, Buxton pleaded guilty to un-authorised ditch work and dumping spoil along the ditch edge, rush cutting and overgrazing at High Peak Magistrates Court on Thursday 1 March. His actions, within the Goyt Valley Site of Special Scientific Interest (SSSI) have resulted in significant damage to the interest features for which the site is notified.

This could be you OP!!! 😛
Link

Monksie’s on the run but the forces of lawnorder are catching up with him

If you have ever slipped out into the garden (one moon-lit night) for a danger-w***

WOW……just WOW!

EDIT – WOW

The OP will have to fly to Brazil to escape the lawn arm of the law….

I’ll get my coat.

Go back and deturf the ground with a spade and bury your stuff underneath, then returf and work the ground nicely. They’ll have problems figuring out what went on. In future, you know what to do.

My shop is geared towards ladies,I have lady staff and mostly lady customers.
Drivel like this is my main source of male bonding during work hours.
Keep up the good work everyone.

My shop is geared towards ladies,I have lady staff and mostly lady customers

I’m guessing you don’t specialise in OO gauge model railways?

This thread is useless without a live webcam feed

This thread is useless without a live webcam feed

Maybe…. But I say get the Worlds greatest detective onto the case.

There’s probably* a bloke in an Alpkit bivvy bag, realising his worst ever nightmare about now, buried alive, under 5 wheely bins of muck. Ya bastard!

*possibly

You must be feeling pretty forlawn with all the lack of sympathy 😉

I’m guessing going back and retrieving it is out of the question as you dumped it down a steep bank? You could go and work it in and make it all look good and natural and say you were just trying to make it look better!

andyl – Member

You must be feeling pretty forlawn with all the lack of sympathy

I’d say he’s Wheely bin sown up, myself

What I don’t get is why the OP ploughed on regardless, after being told not to do it by the wife

*furrows plough brow*

Cell mate ‘what ya been sent dahn for?’

Monksie ‘grass’

CM ‘ah dealing yeah?’

M ‘spreading it round the neighbourhood’

CM: How much?

M: Ah, about six wheelbarrows full.

CM: Fark.

I think he’s wheelie bin stupid here.

Semen would be my worry. If you have ever slipped out into the garden (one moon-lit night) for a danger-w*** then I would say you are in deep trouble.

Bit strange…

I think he’s wheelie bin stupid here.

They’re funnier the first time around.

(Hoe hoe hoe)

I think he’s wheelie bin stupid here.

That joke has already bin done.

I’m guessing it’s a white hole, spewing time back into the universe.

Surely you mean a wormhole

Just making a mountain out of a molehill now.

If the police come round and try to arrest you for getting rid of the grass, just tell um its a fair crop guvna

LoL, might take a while as its about 50 tons worth. Not sure how many wheelies bins that it but I know its around 6.8 routemaster buses worth.

50 / 7.35 = 6.8, maths innit.

You’ll need more if you’re planning on carrying it with them though: 12, based on a load capacity of 4,150kg (11 if you’re talking about the RML model).

Go back with a rake and few packets of seeds and take a few pics
You were simply Improving the environment

What a harrowing ordeal.

(11 if you’re talking about the RML model).

And just when you thought it was safe to walk the street again….

😆 at the people taking umbrage with the danger **** post.. obviously got a lot of seagullers on this evening..

Seagullers?

Does anyone know if the OP could get a loam to pay off any fine ?

(I’d suggest either you dig up some dirt on your accuser sharpish or tell the council you dumped it inad-verdantly)

Seagullers?

Don’t Google it at work.

don’t worry cougar, yunki’s just raining on their parade

You sure that’s rain?

😆 quality thread!

Some of the puns are brilliant.

I nearly got seagulled by a seagull the other day – walking along a cliff-path and this thing shat at us from about 50ft up

Cheeky bastards

A guy from the council has just been.
Him: “It’s been reported….”
Me: “Yes, I did but I didn’t really think of it as fly tipping”
H: “What were you dumping?”
M: “Crappy turf and the soil attached to it from the garden”
H: “Nothing else?”
M: “No, Nothing. I’m a tree hugging cyclist. I care about the woods and stuff….”
H: “Where did you dump it?”
M: “Various locations over the banking behind the school”
H: “That area is massive!”
M: “I know….sorry”
H: “No Bother. I can’t see the harm in a bit of grass and soil on top of grass and soil”
M: “Ah. Mint!”
H: Bit of small talk about the weather.
M: Bit of small talk back
H: “Bye”
M: “See ya”
My heart rate was up a bit though. I’ll not be doing it again.
I know nothing of seagulls or whizz and all that stuff. Oddballs!

Good stuff!

Am amazed that they came round a day after it was reported.

Can you ask them to come pick up the broken oven that has been awaiting collection in my front garden for 6 weeks? “We’ll collect it in the next 5 working days, Sir…”

Monksie – pleased for you, that everything’s turned out o.k.

I’ve an idea who the grass is (pun intended), chap called Frank, used to be our neighbour and now lives in the really big house across the road from there, he’s got 6 acres of woodland, can you imagine what we could do with that?

6 acres of woodland, can you imagine what we could do with that?

Landfill!