Sorry for the long post…just venting and hoping I might see a sensible decision when writing it down….

So we live right on the Mendips, I love it. I’ve not ridden for 3 months (broken wrist) so maybe I am being too sentimental but I love being able to ride from my door any time I want.

I work from home a lot but need to work up in Bristol by the Uni 2x pw, and should go to the NE of Bristol much more than I do now but don’t as it’s a pain to get to (45-60 minutes of traffic). I’ve been doing the current commute for 3 years now and am fed up spending 30-50 minutes each way stuck in traffic.

OH has a new part time job over in Melksham and does other locum work in Bath. Her days are normally consecutive with night on call so she stays over but she is getting a lot of extra work, which is great, but not from a seeing each other point of view and I worry about the driving, especially as winter is drawing in.

It is time to move anwyway for various reasons. We have a dog and cat to think about (and sheep) and I need somewhere with a garage or large wooden shed to turn into a workshop.

1. A really nice remote place up near Bristol. Very secluded, no neighbours at all, would need to build a wooden shed and somehow get power to it etc but it would be mine to do as I wish. OH really likes it and could feel at home there. Cuts my commute down to <10 miles, OH would still have 1hr+ to drive. Easy 8 mile drive back to where I ride. Very safe for cat and dog.

2. Head east of the mendips, cuts my commute a little and makes my NE bristol a lot easier. Only cuts the OHs commute to 45 minutes (but Bath commute to 20 minutes). Lovely house with new double garage, 10-25 minute drive to get to any riding. Cat might get run over…

3. Fully commit to over near Chippenham/Melksham. Would increase my commute up to 1hr or 40 min NE Bristol but cuts OH to 10 min so she can be at home for nights and days on call. I could get the train into Bristol (30 min + free bus in town) which would mean I could do emails etc and have a beer or two. Unless I go to the NE bristol site and then I would have to drive. But if we take this route I may as well sell my bikes as it would kill me looking at them knowing that I can’t just head out for a proper ride. 🙁

Or maybe I could get a T5 and sleep in Bristol occasionally (I can shower at work) and keep a bike in the van for detours to trails on the way home.

This will be of no help at all … but I most like the sound of, and would choose, option 1 (I’m trying to imagine ‘near Bristol’ & ‘remote’!). Commuting clearly looms large in your life and it sounds like your OH does the most/ is most compromised by you being where you are now, so the permanence of your respective roles would be a key issue if it were me. Jobs change/ move etc. How does she feel about it?

We just happen to live in your option 3 area (for historical/ work reasons) and there is some riding, but it’s very limited and as a consequence we travel a lot to ride. But our journeys to work are rideable/ short drive, and I would not go back to previous jobs that involved lengthy commutes. As always it’s a compromise, but if you really love being able to ride from your door, and this is a high priority in your life then think carefully. See – no help at all. Sorry 😉

Well you have confirmed my suspicions about area 3 🙁

But the houses over there in the rural areas do look lovely. Lots of stone with open fires, quirky design etc.

One thing I also missed is I love being within 20 minutes of the sea.

Her job is new, she’s just graduated so first job. She works for other people so could end up somewhere else in a year or so but she loves the place and gets on really well with the owners who treat her well so I could see her staying there for a while.

If we get somewhere I can finally set up a proper workshop I will be more settled and be able to work more from home so I am actually learning towards option 3 and making sure I get properly set up to reduce my travel into Bristol. That way she can stay at home when on her on call weekends (once a month).

The good news is all the houses we are looking at have wood burners or open fires and I will either get an existing out building or garage or get to build my own wooden workshop.

But if we take this route I may as well sell my bikes as it would kill me looking at them knowing that I can’t just head out for a proper ride.

A touch melodramatic most of us cope just fine, it’s not that hard to pop the bike in a car and head out onto the trails.

1 Sounds great but a pain for travelling
3 Sounds not as great but not bad and means 90% of the time everyone has an easy commute. Currently deal with a partner on call and it’s not much fun – she a vet?

maybe a bit OTT but there is just something very special about living somewhere you can go out your door and have amazing walks and rides without having to go near a car. Seems very wrong to drive to somewhere to walk the dog or ride a bike.

OH is new to commuting and not tired of it yet like I am (she’s been driving for less than 2 years so I’ve been doing all my work driving and all of our social driving for years)

I guess I should make a table and do some scoring, ideally with distance and frequency of journey and maybe add a section for recreation.

eg my commutes are A & B, hers C & D. 30 miles isn’t much to those with good roads or motorways but on rural roads it takes a while and burns a lot of fuel.

Location 1: A=10, B=15, C=20, D=30
Location 2: A=15, B=2, C=1, D=20
Location 3: A=30, B=25, C=15, D=5

Frequencies (return journey per month): A=10, B=6, C=3, D=5
Or if OH can stay at home: C=3, D=10 + call outs

+ I do other driving to clients

Then I have priorities:

1. Making sure the location is best for the animals and the dog won’t have to spend too long in the car.
2. Making sure OH is safe and trying to maximise the time we see each other
3. A workshop
4. Getting my R&R time outdoors as I work 50-60 hrs a week
5. Trying to cut my time spent in the car.

Seems very wrong to drive to somewhere to walk the dog or ride a bike.

For my priorities I’d rather drive further to do the things I enjoy rather than drive further to work – balanced with it being a nice place to live.

Is there no riding close by near option 3?

The other factor is how stable is the OH’s job? Is it long term (you mentioned Locum work) moving somewhere might not be the best idea if it could change.

of your priority list

2. Making sure OH is safe and trying to maximise the time we see each other

When my missus is on call it’s a right PITA, sometimes reckon it would be better if I wasn’t there as it leads to interrupted sleep and not actually seeing much of each other.

4. Getting my R&R time outdoors as I work 50-60 hrs a week
5. Trying to cut my time spent in the car.

Achieving 5 should hep with 4, Before I left the UK I was up to 1-1.5hrs each way on a commute and the chances of doing anything that didn’t involve pizza/curry & beer after were slim to none. When it was down at 30mins then I was out riding, in the garden and doing loads of stuff (sometimes Pizza/Curry & Beer but in a fun way)

Some other things to consider is how reliable the train is (and cost) if you go with do nothing can you get a cheap but comfy B&B in Bristol to avoid the drive?

It gets confusing when you start adding in the effects of changing one..

If I get 3. Workshop then i can cut down on A.

Yes I agree, finding somewhere nice to live will affect a lot. The place at the moment is getting us both down.

If I got for ‘3’ then maybe I should just change my R&R activities. It’s a hell of a lot flatter with quite a few airfields so maybe I could take up flying of some sort.

Travel for fun V travel for work – I prefer to travel to work as you may as well bunch rubbish with rubbish.

Getting a train will be weird for me. I’ve always used a car as I have multiple places to go, lots of stuff to transport or the dog with me and I hate relying on other people to get me somewhere on time. But I have to say I am warming to the idea if I get to do things like emails while travelling. Cost would we somewhere between my fuel cost and real running costs as I can use a free bus in town up to the Uni.

I might have the chance to stay overnight in town at a colleagues flat or as I mentioned earlier maybe I should get a T5 instead of my previous plan of treating myself to something sporty to try and rejuvenate my enjoyment of driving.A T5 has work and fun benefits and if I can use trains more for basic commute then I have less need for a normal car.

I guess comfort over sportyness may be a little better, all those sat in sporty cars in traffic looked bored and uncomfortable, the transit I had was a lot better for the slow commute as it was comfy and easy to drive (plus points being extra priority at junctions/lane changes)

I now spend more time on planes and at airports than driving and it’s much better, it’s productive travel time rather than just sitting there listening to the radio. I used to do Glasgow to Warrington by train weekly too. Work on Monday mornings, films Friday afternoon. Both get me way more work done just having a quiet space to read/reply to stuff is great. I always have a pad of paper with me for putting ideas/thoughts down and do most of my summary of the trip/meeting stuff now on the plane or in the lounge.

For costs I now factor in fares plus taxi, coffee/tea & snack for the real cost.

Have you considered looking at being just South of Bristol. I was brought up on the North side of Bristol but traveling into work was a nightmare, traffic awful getting into Bristol.
Now live in Congresbury can ride into Bristol or get the train from Yatton, trails in riding distance, sea close by.
Bath not to bad either over the top of Mendip or if bad can go via motorway or through Bristol, sounds like the time OH travels to work won’t be rush hour.

The problem with public transport is the [high] upfront cost. With driving you just do it and the fuel is the main visual cost but the other costs get forgotten and then there is the realisation you also have to factor in your time that is wasted behind the wheel.

But for public transport to work it has to be accessible. I looked at the OH getting the train the other direction from location 1 but there was no morning connection.

I normally go sit up on top of a hill with things I need to read or my design pads to get sketching away from emails and distractions. Gets the dog walk and daily exercise out of the way too!

beargotsoul – I either pass though congresbury or up the airport road at the moment. OH heads over the mendips.

I’ve noticed Bristol traffic is getting worse and worse. I heard the other week that it’s now one of the worst cities in the UK for congestion and I can believe it. The stupidly planned water works in Backwell at the same time as closing the road through Barrow Gurney have made my last few months even worse.

The council are making driving worse on purpose to discourage drivers but are doing a piss-poor job of providing any alternative that works.

I am seriously considering a small kit helicopter as I reckon the true cost to run + lack of stress would be worth it.

Option 1 is SW of bristol but closer than we are now. Me using the train is a no-go there as I will have to keep the dog with me.

Option 2 is SSE of bristol so going up through whitchurch (never done it but I reckon it will be an ‘ouch’).

Option 3 is far east and avoiding the bath road and won’t need to have the dog with me.

I’ve noticed Bristol traffic is getting worse and worse

This is an understatement.

It’s just taken me an hour to get from Totterdown to Warmley. Brislington was gridlocked so I ended up going through Keynsham FFS.

We are in a similar relocation predicament. We really want to get out of the City. Mendips would be ideal, but my other half wouldn’t be able to cycle to his city centre office from there, so we need to go in closer.

Well we are looking everywhere we can that seems nice and rural and safe. Just booked a load of viewings in a row over towards chippenham.

I am warming to the idea of using public transport more. the cost is just eyewatering up front but 30min to 1hr each way in traffic is worth £40-60 a day in lost time which is one way to look at it. I hope the people who price transport don’t read this as they will use it to try and justify more price hikes.

Mendips is an awesome place to be and the airport road all the way to bedminster down generally flows very well. It is just as you get into town it all goes horribly wrong. I have found a few shortcuts which can work well to shave off time.

Anywhere along A370 and out toward Langford would still allow OH to ride to Bristol and ride to Mendip Trails.

At least 3 others I know from from my village ride in daily (I don’t btw)into Bristol.

Given a choice, I’d always rather it was me that had the longer commute than my OH – call me sexist if you like.

And buy a motorbike, that could probably cut your commute in half.

I was actually thinking about a motorbike. OH won’t let me though.

and yes, I agree and yes, it might be sexist but it is also common sense as I have been driving a lot longer and can fix minor things should they happen at the road side, but I would rather commute.

The plus of us being near her work is it will be much better for the dog.

the place near Bristol could be awesome though, but only if I spend £X,000 on a workshop. I would rather spend that on a lathe and mill to go in an existing workshop. I’ll miss watching the planes take off and land from the hills south of the airport though – sniff – sniff

Well you have confirmed my suspicions about area 3

I may have made it sound worse than it is. If you like riding from your door then you just need to be more creative and be prepared to use lots of linking lanes. There’s a healthy local riding scene near Bath which is not far.

For my priorities I’d rather drive further to do the things I enjoy rather than drive further to work – balanced with it being a nice place to live.

This – you spend enough time at work without having to travel excessively to get there. And this is from someone who actually really enjoys driving. We moved further away from Bath to get more for our money, but there’s plenty of nice stuff around us. I get the sense that you prefer rural so steer away from Chippenham/ Melksham which aren’t great and both have development creep – keeping ‘Bath side’ will help future property value if that sort of stuff concerns you.

just move to sheffield

and yes, I agree and yes, it might be sexist but it is also common sense as I have been driving a lot longer and can fix minor things should they happen at the road side, but I would rather commute.

My view is the opposite in our situation. I’ve been commuting by car for years and am well used to it. I’ll quite happily live anywhere up to a 45 minute drive from my office – even more so now that I am quite often out and about driving anywhere from Clevedon over to Chippenham – the daily grind of an hours drive to the office is reduced if you break it up a bit by not doing it day in, day out. My husband, on the other hand, has had the luxury of a 5 minute cycle to the office for the last ten years, and I don’t think it would be fair on him to suddenly make him have to endure 40 minutes in a car every morning.

Lived and worked in Bristol, 30+ years ago and traffic was equally congested. Hanham to Central Bristol, was easily an hour each way by the time I’d parked and got to the office. Every town (in the South) sufferers with some form of congestion, slow traffic, too many vehicles and poor infrastructure. I’d say a commute of 45 min is typical, wherever you live and if there are other benefits to living where you do (lifestyle) then stay put and in the nicest way suck it up.