Ten years down the line of having to still see my ex regularity because of the kids I still don’t think I’ve really got the answer. The times after dropping them off were really hard, but they get easier.
However the old adage that time is the greatest healer is a good one – ease up on yourself and enjoy life for what it is.
At one point it became my greatest fear that she’d ask to get back together, as I would have found it impossible to say no, but knew deep down that it couldn’t work – I’ve found that sometime’s you suddenly get that little reminder of why it really wouldn’t work out, and Its quite a liberating moment when you get to that stage.
Personally, I think the first step to really getting there is learning about yourself and enjoying your own company, when you feel happy with yourself and not feeling like you ‘need’ anyone else to be worthwhile, you’ll start really finding happiness.
Be the best dad you can be, don’t get bitter and don’t be wound up by the inevitable rocky patches – in the long term the kids will make up their own minds – till then the best you can do is let them know they’re loved, and that the door will always be open if they need you!
ps, my youngest daughter lives with me now, something I never thought would happen, shows that by being there and being the better person, things will come right in the end 🙂