I went swimming the other day, the pool was full of spicy chicken and red pepper.

It was a fajita’ed pool.

😐

I’d say that’s up there with the best?

Assuming it’s based on ‘heated pool’, 13/100

poor i’d give you 10

If you have to explain it…

you need the “hey, that’s nacho cheese” joke if you’re going Mexican

If you have to explain it…

I didn’t have to explain it, just sew several sides back together.

you need the “hey, that’s nacho cheese” joke if you’re going Mexican

Possibly my favourite Mexican joke. Along with ‘Bacon Tree’, ‘Poncho Repair Kit’ and ‘To-Keeeel-her’

Don’t give up the day job – a proper “Eurovision Song Contest” score – nil points

6

Ok. How about this one.

A while ago, when making TV documentaries for the BBC….I was stopped by the police for having a dodgy brake light.

They gave me a producer.

😐

5

Why does Barbie never get pregnant?

Because Ken comes in a different box.

oK.

I was delighted when my wife came home the other day saying she had scooped top prize by correctly choosing six numbers. Her prize was ‘driving home for Christmas’, ‘Auberge’ and ‘Road to Hell’.

She had won the National Lot-a-Rea

😐

Any non pun based jokes? Preferably funny ones 😈

Where do Martians get their mercury from?

HG Wells.

shyte.

Any non pun based jokes?

Oh. Sorry.

Preferably funny ones

Oh. Sorry.

How do you get a load of Canadians out of the pool?

Could you all get out of the pool now please.

Quantum physicists pantomime….

Puss in Box

What’s yellow and smells like marge?

Homer Simpson’s fingers.

😯

And Tazzy wins by the fact his was the only funny joke 😀

Two Mexican detectives discussing the murder of Juan Gonzales.

“Accordeeng to ze postmortem ‘ee was shot weez a golf gun”

“Pedro, what eez a golf gun?”

“I donts know, but eet make a hole in Juan”

What do you call a septic cat?

Puss.

And Tazzy wins by the fact his was the only funny joke

I could win STW art club by posting a picture drawn by Rolf Harris!

If you lot can’t make your own jokes up, that’s fine…. 😆

I can make my own jokes up……..they just get me banned 😀

I couldn’t beleive it when my wife came home and told me that bloke from the Monkeez had died.

Then I saw her face.

Now I’m a bereaver….

Whats pink and fluffy?

Pink fluff.

Last weekend my dad took us to the zoo.
The only animal they had was a dog in a cage.
It was a Shih Tzu.

I used to be addicted to soap, but I’m clean now

I don’t think I need a spine. It’s holding me back

Two old dears sat on a bench. One said “Isn’t it windy?” “No it’s Thursday” said the other. “So am I. Let’s have a cup of tea” replied the first.

Two nuns walking through a park. A streaker ran past. Mother Superior had a stroke, the other wasn’t quick enough.

Two nuns in a bath. One says “Where’s the soap?” The other replied “It does, doesn’t it.”

The Beastie Boys are launching a new five-part fanzine, documenting their rise to stardom.

Parts A to D will be freely available in the shops for general purchase but, consistent with their band’s ethos, you’ll have to fight for your right to Part E.

Bloke walks into a fruit and veg shop. ” I’ll have a pound of carrots, a punnet of strawberries, pound of apples and half a pound of wasps.
” We dont sell wasps, we sell fruit and veg” says the greengrocer. Bloke says..
“Well, you got them in the window”

Where do Martians get their mercury from?

HG Wells.

Now that ^^^ is funny.

The previous one aint. <click>