When I was in halls at uni, some bloke broke into the neighbouring block while a load of the inhabitants were in one blokes room getting stoned.
A girl who wasn't joining in the smoking session went to have a bath and found blood up the walls and in the bath with big handprint smears.
She thought someone had been murdered, screamed the place down and the crowd of half stoned students came running to her aid. They searched their block and found the bloke who had broken in cowering in a shower room trying to staunch some rather serious bleeding.
He had nicked a tin of Ambrosia rice pudding from one of the kitchens and had retreated to the bathroom to eat it. Rather than nicking a can opener at the same time, he tried to use a swiss army knife to open the can, got it wrong and slashed his hand open pretty badly.....
The Police turned up and apparently he was well known to them. he was addicted to the thrill of stealing so had a long list of minor thefts to his name.
My Dad used to be a black cab driver and had his cab broken into no the drive one night. They nicked a really old knackered battery radio and took the rear-view mirror - but not the whole thing; they had somehow opened up the 'socket' part of the 'ball and socket' and just taken the mirror with ball attached, but no socket to put it in.
Funny thing was our boxer had been going nuts and barking like mad and jumping up to the window, which was really not her normal behaviour. My dad kept telling her off and pulling her away from the window. Think he felt a bit stupid the next morning!
EDIT - oh and a group of yoofs mugged me once. Stopped me in the street and got me to empty my pockets out (broad daylight on a busy Wembley high road and no one helped, even though plenty could see what was going on). I think they were a bit disappointed when all I had to offer them was a Megadeth - Countdown to Extinction casette and a baseball bat keyring. They took the keyring. I don't think they were Megadeth fans....!