Viewing 35 posts - 1 through 35 (of 35 total)
  • Random challenge to a fight last night (I don't drive a Skoda/Primera/Avensis)
  • iDave
    Free Member

    After I typed this I realised it was quite dull. But illustrates how drunks think odd things might be normal….

    Waiting to give my daughter a lift home from work, 11.45pm.

    Bloke opens the back door of the car and says ‘where are you going mate’
    ‘Nowhere you’re going, I’m not a taxi’
    ‘Oh, sorry’
    Walks off with his GF, comes back 5 mins later, taps on the window
    ‘Has Bar **** called you?’
    ‘No, why would they, I told you already I’m not a taxi’
    ‘The bloke over there said they had done’
    ‘How would they know my number, and if they did why would they call me when I’m not a taxi driver’
    ‘Listen mate no need to get gobby, I’m only asking, they said they’d called you’
    ‘No they didn’t, because they don’t know me, just piss off’
    ‘What you making a deal about, you have a mobile, they might have called you, stop giving me a hard time, and step out if you want to make it a big deal’
    GF pulls him away and I think ‘can’t wait to tell online strangers such a dreary story’

    Liftman
    Full Member

    Lock your doors in future

    singlecrack
    Free Member

    “What time you on till “

    “you been busy”

    All said in a Peter Kay accent of course …..

    timbur
    Free Member

    Thanks for the waste of 20 seconds of my life

    😉

    brakes
    Free Member

    missed a free cash opportunity there
    what was the GF like?

    iDave
    Free Member

    timbur – let me know when you have 5 minutes, there’s more material I’m working on.

    ernie_lynch
    Free Member

    ‘Listen mate no need to get gobby, I’m only asking, they said they’d called you’

    Seems a fair comment.

    Why were you getting gobby anyway ?

    donsimon
    Free Member

    Why were you getting gobby anyway ?

    How would you react if your back door was being breached by a drunken bum?

    ernie_lynch
    Free Member

    His back door was being breached ?

    Well he never mentioned that.

    donsimon
    Free Member

    Bloke opens the back door of the car and says ‘where are you going mate’

    😀

    yunki
    Free Member

    I suppose you could have tried being polite and explaining rather than being a sarcastic bell-end..

    but maybe that’s just me…?

    ernie_lynch
    Free Member

    😀

    Yeah I saw that. Where’s the bit that his back door was breached ? There’s no mention that the geezer entered his car.

    iDave
    Free Member

    I’d already done all the polite explaining stuff. You got the abridged version.

    Listen mate no need to get gobby, I’m only asking, they said they’d called you’

    Seems a fair comment.

    Fair that a Bar 400 yards away and out of sight said they phoned a member of the public in a car that has no outward signs of being a taxi?

    ernie_lynch
    Free Member

    Fair that a Bar 400 yards away and out of sight said they phoned a member of the public in a car that has no outward signs of being a taxi?

    No, I meant the “no need to get gobby” bit. Seems like a fair comment to me.

    iDave
    Free Member

    Polite was getting me nowhere ernie, I was tired, emotional, these things happen. I’ll apologise to the gobby drunk next time it happens.

    argoose
    Free Member

    fancy an airport run 2 am

    rickmeister
    Full Member

    I always take “Babs Cabs”… local cabs for local people… we’ll have no trouble here.. !

    *League of Gentlemen content*

    wrightyson
    Free Member

    Far too many mentalists about these days to even consider getting out for a bit of toe to toe action!!

    scruff
    Free Member

    The bloke was Snakebite and I claim my £5.

    SurroundedByZulus
    Free Member

    Did they need to go on a diet?

    snakebite
    Free Member

    idave drives for lucky7. Maybe if you had dried your hair properly instead of going out with a towel wrapped around your head in a rush, you wouldn’t have been ‘genuinely’ mistaken for a taxi. 8)

    oliverd1981
    Free Member

    In their defence I have staggered out of the pub into the passenger seat of a car that had the temerity to be the same colour as mine and was being driven by a brunette lady the same height as my missus.

    On the other hand we used to get a lot of wrong numbers looking for taxis. Initially I’d tell them it was a wrong number, but after a while the temptation to tell them it would be “there in 10 minutes” got too much…

    WackoAK
    Free Member

    What tyres for a taxi?

    bigyinn
    Free Member

    Clearly the drunks congnitive powers were somewhat dulled by a night on the lager.
    I’d have been a little brusque with drunk too after 5 minutes of explaining why im not a taxi for him. Well done on not beating him to a pulp with your penis. 😆

    donsimon
    Free Member

    Maybe if you had dried your hair properly instead of going out with a towel wrapped around your head in a rush, you wouldn’t have been ‘genuinely’ mistaken for a taxi.

    I don’t understand. 🙁

    oddjob
    Free Member

    I remember when I was at school in Coventry some years ago, a lot of taxis were dark red peugeot 305s. My friends mum had the same colour and model and was forever telling drunk people that it wasn’t a taxi. I think she sold it as a result.

    A bit like having a cream coloured Mercedes in Germany (at least the towns I have been in)

    oddjob
    Free Member

    oliverd1981 is just being racist

    wwaswas
    Full Member

    I had a white Austin Montego as a company car (the shame!) when I lived in Bristol.

    I stopped driving in the city after about 10 at night – people kept climbing in at traffic lights or jumping out into the road to stop me.

    joao3v16
    Free Member

    Bloke opens the back door of the car and says ‘where are you going mate’

    If he genuinely thought you were a taxi, he’s totally misunderstood the principle – usually a customer tells you where they want to go, not ask where you’re going 🙂

    wwaswas
    Full Member

    iDave’s wheels;

    coffeeking
    Free Member

    The only car I’ve not been stopped/walked out on and hailed in is my celica as it’s a bit noisy and they probably don’t want to be embarrassed by a taxi that sounds that loud 🙂

    But ultimately in this case it was daft to try to reason with him, not a taxi- jog on is all they need to know. If you start baffling them with “why would a bar have called a private number” bla bla they’ll get confused and want to answer back.

    takisawa2
    Full Member

    This is useless without pics of aforementioned girlfriend.

    aracer
    Free Member

    I was tired, emotional

    But driving a car? It’s all coming out now…

    wwaswas
    Full Member

    I was tired, emotional

    but not as tired and emotional as a newt?

    timbur
    Free Member

    5 mins? No chance.

    Unless you happen to know about Mercedes auto gear boxes and can fix it cheap? If so I’ll listen for ages and even make coffee and bring cake.

    Tim

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