Q for the Parents - 3 year old sneaking into bed...

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Q for the Parents - 3 year old sneaking into bed...

29 posts & 28 voices | Started 1 year ago by ex-pat | Latest reply from ex-pat

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ex-pat - Member

Our three year old keeps sneaking into our bed, pretty much every night now.
It's not really a problem, we have a big bed and she generally ends up somewhere out the way between us (and no, we're not midnight-delight types).
We reckon it's got to stop, though it'll mean some major no-sleep nights ahead for sure (determined soul that she is).
Is it worth the agro, or will she grow out of it soon? or really should she be out now and cold turkey etc...

Non-parent types who don't like kids, yeah, thanks for the advice but looking for serious replies here.

Cheers
Andy

Posted 1 year ago #
luke - Member

Don't speak to her, just pick her up and put her back in her own bed, be persistant and don't give in or lose your rag.

Posted 1 year ago #
Marmoset - Member

Luke has it right, or you'll end up sleeping on the sofa!

Posted 1 year ago #
woffle - Member

Don't speak to her, just pick her up and put her back in her own bed, be persistant and don't give in or lose your rag.

+1

Also - new bedding / transition to big girl / 'princess' bed, reward charts etc all help.

we've had our little ones in with us on and off since they were babies. The oldest is just about to turn 5 and has grown out of it - for the last year or so she'd rather sleep on her own. The youngest is 3 and a half and currently wanders into our bed around 1am. It goes through stages where she'll sleep in her own bed but when she's ill and comes in with us it tends to start up again. To be honest I rather like her in with us despite her nighttime habits (farting like a dog, sleep talking and usually ending up with her toe in your ear). It doesn't last very long before they're too big / don't want to come in any more - if you all get enough room and enough rest/sleep and it doesn't impact on your relationship with your significant other then I do tend to just enjoy it...

Posted 1 year ago #
igm - Member

Put a double bed in her room and if she sneaks into your bed the two of you decamp to hers. Got to be worth a try.

Posted 1 year ago #
boxelder - Member

woffle ain't waffling. Pretty much exactly what he/she said has worked for our two. They are never half as upset/distraught as they make out when they squack.

Posted 1 year ago #
mogrim - Member

I wouldn't worry too much, she'll grow out of it soon enough.

If she's going to need a new bed soonish, you could use that as a reward - stick a star chart up on the wall, a whole week without climbing into your bed and you'll buy her a new one... (Or you could use new Pocoyo/Barbie/Winnie bedclothes as the reward, of course.)

Posted 1 year ago #
MountainMutant - Member

Agree, don't say anything and avoid eye contact and take them straight back to their own bed. Can get frustrating but works.

Worked with my 4 year old and going through it with my almost 2 year old at the moment.

She kept doing a Houdini with her cot so have had to take the sides off for fear of her hurting herself and convert it into her own little bed.

The hard bit is is getting her to stay in bed when it's bedtime at the moment! Lost count the amount of times I had to take her back upstairs last night!

MM

Posted 1 year ago #
owenfackrell - Member

luke - Member
Don't speak to her, just pick her up and put her back in her own bed, be persistant and don't give in or lose your rag.

+1 from me as well. This also works when they get up to early in the morning or wont go to bed in the evening.

Posted 1 year ago #
wwaswas - Member

be persistant and don't give in or lose your rag.

agree with the above although you do tend to end up bickering with your partner a lot in between dealing with the kid because you're so tense.

Posted 1 year ago #
loddrik - Member

My 4 year old daughter tries this a lot, we have kind of kept a lid on it by saying if she sleeps in her bed most of the week she van sleep in our bed on Friday nights. She thinks this is great and it usually, though not always, works.

Posted 1 year ago #
druidh - Member

Mine did this for a few months - just the occasional night here and there. As we have a king-sized double, it didn't really bother us and it just fizzled out of its own accord.

Posted 1 year ago #
rogerthecat - Member

Good luck fella.
Despite doing exactly what has been suggested here our was 8 when we finally got him to stay in his own bed.
Needless to say, I now look about 60 and have a hair trigger temper.
Hope you have better success.

Posted 1 year ago #
Coyote - Member

Sticker charts are your ally.

Posted 1 year ago #
joolsburger - Member

We let our four year old stay when he turns up, they aren't small for long and grow out of it. My 8 year old stopped coming in at about 5..

Posted 1 year ago #
nickc - Member

I wouldn't necessarily not talk to her "Big girls sleep in their own beds" or something will be OK, but yeah, as soon as she gets in, take her out, and back into her own bed. Be prepared for some upset though

Posted 1 year ago #
ChristoGinger - Member

agree with waffle - both my 3.5 and 2 year old sneak in, they sleep horizontally between us - though I always get the feet in the face, toe in ear job. it goes through stages sometimes they're in sometimes not.

we put a gate on the door of the youngest when she went in to her big bed as she kept climbing out her cot - she cries at it for five mins when we put her to bed then she crawls back in to bed when she realises we arnt going to let her out!

Posted 1 year ago #
teagirl - Member

I've had this for many years and 'enjoyed' it as my kids always slept straight away so we've all slept. It doesn't last long really and there's nothing better than waking up with a sleeping child next to you. They need that closeness, it's quite unnatural to put a baby in another room isn't it?

Relax and go with it zzzzz....

Posted 1 year ago #
vinnyeh - Member

Same as druidh.
Although our daughter (4) asked for her bed to be moved into our room a while back- we stuck it in a corner and she loves it, no interest in going back to her own room. Conversely, our 3 year old son has never really wanted to sleep anywhere except in his own bed, in his own room.

Posted 1 year ago #
slimtubing - Member

slimtubling Mk I is currently having some properly bonkers dreams involving varoius zoo animals getting up to no good (lions in the trees, hippos getting into her bed and of course the monkeys and their constant shenanigans) i quite like it when she clambers into bed for a comforting cuddle and a stream of two and a half year old sleepy gibberish. then again its not every night.

Posted 1 year ago #
jon1973 - Member

it's quite unnatural to put a baby in another room isn't it?

Is 3 / 4 years old still a baby? up to 8 years in some cases on here where the child in still sleeping in the parental bed. You need to draw the line somewhere.

Posted 1 year ago #
theotherjonv - Member

Pretty much covered as above, only one thing I'd query is whether she's a young 3 (just turned), or coming up four? The reason I ask is because with mine, at just 3 they couldn't quite follow the rewards concept and so instant return with minimal contact was what worked best. Now the youngest is nearly 4 and can understand 'cause and effect' a little she can understand the impact of not getting enough stickers each week and hence that works better. But in goes in fits and starts and can be school and illness caused. Don't fuss on it, it'll pass, and as a mate of mine said (his girls are 8 and 10 now) at the time he just wanted his bed to himself, now they've grown out he'd love for those days of toes in ears and balancing on the edge of the bed again.

Posted 1 year ago #
FB-ATB - Member

Slimtubing- you should stop your little one watching 64 zoo lane!

Posted 1 year ago #
epicyclo - Member

They grow out of it eventually and it's nice for them to have the reassurance. I wouldn't set an age on it - it was different for each of our children.

Posted 1 year ago #
Edukator - Member

Like Joolsburger we didn't do anything about it and it didn't last long. They're furry mammals not Dr Spock.

Posted 1 year ago #
Timmo - Member

so glad of this thread as our 3 1/2 year old does it too, although normally somewhere from 4am onwards, i dont mind as the wife gets out and goes into to her room but despite this she snuggles intop me all the time (i'm a stay at home dad, so we kinda have the opposite relationship in our house), which is nice! especially when she rubs my back or the arm comes ovber to hold on!
like said not young for long!

slimtubing, i got round the 'monsters' coming in issue by spraying the outside of the house (bungalow) with car shampoo through a hose attatchment shampoo bottle(superspray) with the littlun helping and telling her it was a Special 'mopnster proof coating'! has worked a treat! well until the wife helpfully invented the Plug monster! but she knows that Monsters Cant get into the house now as we sprayed the special coating on!!

Posted 1 year ago #
Young Dave riley - Member

Didn't like it when ours occasionally did it,ours weren't clingy kids.Didn't have them in the same room when they were babies.Our kids are profoundly deaf ,so talking to them was difficult.
We're all different and get through it the best we can.

Posted 1 year ago #
mrchrispy - Member

book a hotel for the night, that'll shit her right up

Posted 1 year ago #
ex-pat - Member

Cheers all.
I'm thinking that we let it ride for the moment. She's doing kindergarten at the moment, so a bit stressed with that.
And, we're getting enough sleep for sure (though still tired of course!).
New bed isn't on the cards, she's been in a proper bed since 18 months as that's when No.2 came along and rather than buy a second cot we got a nice bed. In fact, the first night she had the new bed she slept in it for 13 hours straight (an unsurpassed record actually).
We also have the fun of being in a queenslander, so bedtime is 29.c and getting up is 22.c, so very hot to comfortable, but of course it means she doesn't like sheets etc and gets a bit cold (I think that's whey she wakes up to be honest).
Oh, and was three at Christmas, so reasonably young three - but certainly understands naughty chairs and sticker reward charts...
Anyway, good replies - cheers!

Posted 1 year ago #

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