“We are all in it together”

ha! you think you’re scared..!? I’m the one that’s got to walk home on my own…

“I said 12 inch pianist”

then I wiped my cock on the curtains and she hit the roof !

(I definitely need to hear the Morag joke)

A stick

I heard you the first time—I’m putting on my shoes

and one for the road..

am not sure who the other 2 are but is that Jeremy Beadle in the middle ?

…but on the other hand it’s tiny.

(I definitely need to hear the Morag joke)

Slightly different but you’ll get the gist

Not your lucky day is it ?

Do you understand now 2 dogs f*****g

Lemon entry, my dear Watson!

Smee again, goan **** yourself. 😀

Think yourself lucky, I’ve got to walk back by myself!!

I just wanted a big orange head…

“‘Rectum’, miss? More like killed ’em”

“If I’m going to have to gargle the holy water I want to do it before Sister Assumpta sticks her arse in it”

“Fatima Whitbread” ….. That reminds me of this one….

“You’d have a go at eating a cricket ball”

A friend nearly choked to death when I told him that joke many years ago

Gang rape

Only for a choccy bicky

I can’t marmalade my c*ck up a girls bottom

Your poster of beyonce

Which goes to show that Hans that does dishes is as soft as Gervase with a vile green hairy lip squid

Sexy kids!

Right where`s this old woman ive got to kill ?

‘I’m a prawn again Christian!’

And, of course:

‘What? With these feet?’

They both went down after trying to take a little Phillipino in the ring!

“‘Rectum’, miss? More like killed ’em”

*applauds taste in jokes*
That is a classic biology teachers joke.

Presumptuous? Moi?

@MoreCashThanDash

Shirley, the hairy lipped squid is wild, not vile? (rhymes better anyway)

… her head was missing.

you can’t cut cliff richard in half, fill him with warmed-up chopped liver and use him as a sex-aid

(thanks for the morag link, spin)

‘And chucked out the Mexican!’

Brian Glover, sadly missed…

“…teeth like the holy commandments – ten of ’em, every one broke!”

Mike Harding

I know, and that’s not my finger.

‘It’s OK, The hamster’s a ventriloquist’

You can come in so long as you don’t start anything

A faster than light neutrino walks into a bar.

That’s from the man who shat in my pants.

You shouldn’t stand for that- you go and sort him out, i’ll look after your monkey.