Why do some of the threads turn into the proverbial contests?

The most recent example is ‘Dog attacks/police response’ thread which has been recently closed.

Some contributors need to understand that overbearing and aggressive posts written in a domineering style do not generate discussion; they just cause interested parties to say…..’stuff this’ and walk away.

It’s even more disappointing when some of the protagonists have prior form and have publicly acknowledged their argumentative approach – but do nothing to change their behaviour.

Yes, I suspect TJ isn’t long for this singletrackworld.

Some contributors need to understand that overbearing and aggressive posts written in a domineering style do not generate discussion; they just cause interested parties to say…..’stuff this’ and walk away.

aracer – Member

Yeah, but it’s always in response to a complete idiot, so pissing them off is about the best outcome you can hope for – and any alternate response is far too nuanced for them to cope with.

(in response to a humorous thread about stuff drivers say that degenerated into a pedantry contest about the difference between road tax and VED and who pays what)

Just learn to recognise the signs of big hitters, and back out the thread.

Must admit, I’m one who tends to ‘walk away’ from the p**s*ng contest threads

Nuance and tone is absent from these written threads (unless the author is a skilled writer) and it’s too easy to get pulled into a contest with someone

I had a recent thread which suffered from this. I got irritated because assumptions were made about my views (rather than people actually reading them) and, if I’m honest, made a comment I shouldn’t have (at aracer)

aracer – if you’re reading I’m referring to the ‘hard of thinking’ quip which I shouldn’t have made. Apologies to you. Mea culpa.

@Jamie; when you refer to ‘big hitters’ what, exactly, do you mean?

It would be very easy to interpret ‘big hitters’ as meaning opinionated keyboard warriors; not exactly intellectual giants – more like intellectual midgets.

@thisisnotaspoon; yes, another good example. Best if contributors would just say their piece and move on. I guess STW forums are fully reflective of the variety of opinions out there (or here) in the real world. What a concerning and depressing thought that is.

Pissing contests, you can either walk away or just go with the flow 😉

Yeah, but that was clearly because Jamie was being rude about the forum 😈

eh? 😕 are you suggesting my post was being rude/aggressive towards other forum users? I suggest you go back and re-read the thread and have a look at the context (and maybe bear in mind the comment you make about the thread 😆 )

I can’t quite remember what thread that was – though I’m sure I just laughed and probably pointed out it was an ad-hom to undermine your point, so no worries and apology accepted (not that it was necessary – I can take a bit of bantz without getting upset 🙂 ).

Though I am slightly worried that I’ve got two mentions on this thread already (I think sometimes people take me too seriously) 😳

Frank – You are always going to get this in a public forum where emotive issues are thrashed out. The ban hammer is wielded when illegal and out and out abuse happens.

When it becomes circular bow out, it’s easy, there is no compulsion for you to join in with things that aggravate you, pick another thread. Let those that want to chase their tails knock themselves out.

To be frank, I like the fact this forum isn’t for the most part over zealously censored and difficult topics can be thrashed out with discourse, indifference, agreement and a bit of mischief.

The conceptual penis as a social consrtuct strikes again.

frankconway, I agree with your comment

Some contributors need to understand that overbearing and aggressive posts written in a domineering style do not generate discussion; they just cause interested parties to say…..’stuff this’ and walk away.

It’s even more disappointing when some of the protagonists have prior form and have publicly acknowledged their argumentative approach – but do nothing to change their behaviour.

However, it is very understandable that such a debate can get very heated/passionate:

a) because being confronted by an aggressive dog can be terrifying. For me just writing about it brings back the strong memory of the unpleasant adrenaline rush and ‘fight or flight’ syndrome kicking in. I suspect that many of those who wrote strongly about out of control dogs experienced something similar, and that can cause people to be very forthright when writing about the subject, especially when dog owners are dismissive/demonstrate an entitled attitude.

b) some people on the thread seemed to be dismissive of those fears, based on their own experience (including as dog owners) implying that the problem was with the person who is afraid and might possibly overreact or act in a way which makes things worse.

Finally, Boblo made the following comment on that thread:

There’s a rather unpleasant bullying undertone on here now.

Seems *some* people have recognised a certain, formerly argumentative individual is trying to change/make amends and they are going out of their collective way to bait and make capital of this. It’s not right and *they* should be **** ashamed of themselves.

Having re-read some of the comments, I agree with Boblo: there seemed to be repeated goading, condescending and sneery remarks playing the man (TJ) and not the ball, which looked like they were deliberately intended to provoke an emotional response.

there seemed to be repeated goading, condescending and sneery remarks playing the man (TJ) and not the ball

Bit like this thread really
FFS the thread is closed just leave it!

I have apologised for being intemperate on that thread.

Yes I should have known better than to respond to the goading and I apologise again here for my intemperate language and my part in making it a stupid circular argument

It’s not a debate. It’s taking turns to shout opinions.

Ya’ just gotta take the forum for what it is.

If it gets heated and you don’t like it, walk away.
If it gets nasty and you feel goaded, walk away.
If it turns into a few well known posters provoking an argument, walk away.
If it becomes threatening, report it, walk away.

Not all threads turn into a pissing contest, 50% do, 50% don’t.

But “big hitters” are easy to spot, the Mods spot them too.

As with any forum it is written and the posts can be made hours apart with some posters just making one comment, others going back and forth a bit. Difficult to directly address the points and counter points and due to that frustration starts, tempers flare etc,.

The same discussion face to face with the same people would be a different matter and may actually get somewhere. I say may….

I don’t think the threads turn in to pissing contests as such. It’s more that you end up with a couple of posters with diametrically opposed viewpoints and neither will walk away or agree to disagree. I don’t frequent a lot of other forums or use other social media, but I reckon it will happen in those places too.

The same discussion face to face with the same people would be a different matter and may actually get somewhere. I say may….

And this too

By coincidence I was going to start a similat thread to this after the antagonising content in my ‘Cadence thread yesterday. I’m not saying I didn’t play my part in that, but after I’d returned home I’d realised I’d let somebody antagonise me and perhaps the only one being affected was myself.

I don’t come here for points scoring but certainly in the bike forum if someone asks a question no matter how dumb or niaive it may seem to others, 99% of the time its being asked on the basis of recieving some sensible advice. Why do people have to jump in, troll and insult others on that basis?

The Chat forums is perhaps different in that communicating debate – as above – can be different when written but I’m a big advocate of healthy debate. Not everyone has to agree with each other, but but inside and outside STW there needs to be more tolerance of peoples opinions and values – agreeing to disagree – rather than resort to anger and insults.

I for one made several decisons on my outlook on life last night, arguing with faceless people on STW – mainly because I can’t shut off the mental angst it causes – being one of them.

Always worst on a Saturday evening as the post-ride (we all rode our bikes yesterday didn’t we?) refreshments kick in.

It’s been said but ‘last wordism’ seems to infect Internerd discussions much more than face to face would. You rarely see normal grown ups, in public, repeatedly batting back and forth with a ‘Yeah but you don’t understand’ followed by ‘No, you don’t understand’ ad nauseum.

This stuff is often seen with kids but this medium seems to bring the kid out in us probably part due to the lack of non verbal cues.

There was also an undertone of picking on people probably due to them making themselves an easy target (during and prior). I don’t care if the ‘grown up’ 5 year old’s want to shout ‘ner ner’ at each other across the ether, but I really object to the nastiness.

I really hope at least one of the protagonist’s in this last bout has been dealt with severely to ‘encourage’ people to just stick to the primary school stuff (if they really must) rather than the personal attacks.

BTW Just discussing this contravenes one of the rules (IIRC) ergo, we’re all doomed (banned). 😀

Just remember op, there are some real, grade A, bell ends on this forum.

It gets boring when keyboard geeks just go tit for tat trying to explain the ways in which the other person is wrong. A couple of mods do this quite regularly.

Big yawns.

Always worst on a Saturday evening as the post-ride (we all rode our bikes yesterday didn’t we?) refreshments kick in.

Didn’t get the chance yesterday. Most of the day was occupied by dog training and new experiences whilst he’s at a very young and impressionable age.

Pick up a new bike tomorrow so that should balance it out 🙂

…keyboard geeks just go tit for tat trying to explain the ways in which the other person is wrong. A couple of mods do this quite regularly.

Exactly. Setting the tone for others to follow.

Bullying is rife on this forum and it’s allowed to happen which basically means the owners/mods condone it. Take pleasure in it, even…

Have the mods on this forum ever seen a bicycle

I’d realised I’d let somebody antagonise me and perhaps the only one being affected was myself.

[/quote]

I think I worked this out about ten years ago and made the decision then that I would never get wound up again by some dick head I’ve never met or likely to meet! For that reason, I simply avoid threads I’d normally contribute to.

Bullying is rife on this forum

Is it? Or is it a case of if you can’t see it, you are the problem?

Now, gimme your dinner money!

This site is waaay better tan some I’ve seen.

Same story though, writing isn’t the bast method of communication especially as you can’t hear tone or easily detect nuance or sarcasm. So it’s easy to react and easy to fire off a reply.

Same as others tend to avail some threads and step away now from others

Have the mods on this forum ever seen a bicycle

I seen a Unicycle this morning so halfway there.

I’ve never seen bullying in three years on here. I’ve witnessed plenty of pointless arguments and even been involved in (and possibly started) a few. Then again I have quite a thick skin so possibly don’t notice bullying. For what it’s worth I think the mods do a decent job, especially considering they are doing it for free.

I have quite a thick skin so possibly don’t notice bullying.

So it takes having a thin skin to recognise bullying…?

@funkmasterperp You might not recognise it then. Look back at the thread being discussed. When you start to negatively disect an individual’s personal/professional background in public, for me, that’s bullying. It wasn’t done once ‘by mistake’, it was done repeatedly to create a reaction.

negatively disect an individual’s personal/professional background in public

This is one of the reasons I try to remain reasonably anonymous on this particular forum. Some of you lot are **** nasty and vindictive and I refuse to open up my life to that kind of behaviour.

So it takes having a thin skin to recognise bullying…?

For me, probably yes. That’s why I wrote what I did. That and it’s not something I particularily look for tbh. I was bullied badly as a child (physically) and probably don’t spend enough time on social media to recognise the on line equivalent. I’ll try and see things from a different perspective.

@boblo – I’ll take another look at the insanity of the dog thread. Wish me luck!

For me, probably yes. That’s why I wrote what I did. That and it’s not something I particularily look for tbh.

For me it takes empathy and a little bit of compassion thrown into the mix. You don’t have to go looking for it to spot it when it happens.

I have plenty of empathy and compassion thanks. Stop picking on me 😉

I just see people acting like dickheads and not knowing when to quit arguing as opposed to a one sided bullying scenario.

boblo

When you start to negatively disect an individual’s personal/professional background in public, for me, that’s bullying. I

[devilsadvocate] Because of the anonymity of a forum people willingly divulge personal and professional information to qualify their opinions. Over years this obviously happens quite a lot and if someone is prone to protracted debate they’ll probably cite their personal/professional experience quite a lot.

[/devilsadvocate]

I struggle to remember who is what though because I don’t have any visual reference as to who they are other than their forum names and similar sounding names get muddled so I’ve stopped trying.

@jimjam Reasonable point, though this was way beyond that.

The final incident was (to paraphrase): ‘You’re an abject professional failure because…’.

That’s just nasty.

Fair enough, in that case I agree with you, amorphous collage of English IT/engineering/middlemanagement/Octavia driving/Stove owning/dog kicking/cheese eating guy.

I just scanned the dog thread and corrected the factual inaccuracies of supposed zoologists who should have known better than to play fast and loose with the facts 😆

The final incident was (to paraphrase): ‘You’re an abject professional failure because…’.

That’s just nasty.

I must have missed that bit, but agree it’s out of order and utterly childish. Says more about the person posting it than the person it’s aimed at.

I just scanned the dog thread and corrected what I perceived to be the factual inaccuracies of supposed zoologists who should have known better than to play fast and loose with the facts

I don’t know who you could be talking about. Just studied it for a while 🙂