Viewing 40 posts - 1 through 40 (of 93 total)
  • properly shit animals
  • alpin
    Free Member

    daddy long legs – fly about randomly and then drop a leg if you catch them.

    daftvader
    Free Member

    Sea cucumber…. Big gloopy tube with no brain

    teethgrinder
    Full Member

    Dogs.

    whatnobeer
    Free Member

    Horses. All that power and grace and yet you can literally scare them to death and lets hope it never breaks a leg or get some other injury.

    legend
    Free Member

    Pandas (apart from Red ones, they’re all good)

    Wookster
    Full Member

    Pandas….they can’t even be ar$ed to reproduce!!

    oldnpastit
    Full Member

    Humans. At least some of them. About 50% it would appear.

    nickc
    Full Member

    Wigglesworthia glossinidia

    gram negative endosymbiont of the tsetse fly, lost a large part of it’s genome and is the animal with the smallest known genome.

    Useless

    beefheart
    Free Member

    Happy dogs.

    EDIT- Goddamit, Yappy dogs!

    monkeysfeet
    Free Member

    House fly. Just a PITA.

    Tom_W1987
    Free Member

    Mosquitoes.

    The day we wipe them all out is the one day that I will be pleased to hear about an extinction event.

    twisty
    Full Member

    [Youtube]VzRKxLitti4[/youtube]

    stevemuzzy
    Free Member

    Midge. Ruin of many a night.

    BigDummy
    Free Member

    Ticks are pretty poor value. Unless you’re a virus.

    mikewsmith
    Free Member

    Very Very Very poisonous snakes, I would get it if they had a chance of eating an elephant

    stewartc
    Free Member

    Cats, basicaly vermin that attach themselves to the feeble minded of society and suck them dry of food, warmth and social mobility all the while decimating the local native bird species.
    I’m not a cat person.

    CheesybeanZ
    Full Member

    Humans, especially the cat owning subspecies .

    votchy
    Free Member

    Another vote for cats and cat owners, oxygen thieves the lot of them

    bluearsedfly
    Free Member

    Slugs.

    And **** ants. Being battered by them at the minute the little bastards, tougher then Chuck Norris.

    wilburt
    Free Member

    Spanials, hair on the soles of their feet and ears that go in their food:water, bad design.

    thegreatape
    Free Member

    Naked Mole Rats. Essentially a pensioner’s penis with teeth and legs.

    PrinceJohn
    Full Member

    Wasps!!!

    pictonroad
    Full Member

    Midges n’ slugs.

    *shudders

    vickypea
    Free Member

    :PCat-hating humans

    globalti
    Free Member

    Professional footballers.

    z1ppy
    Full Member

    Humans +1000000, especially those cat hating ones.

    LeeW
    Full Member

    Homosapien, especially haterz.

    qwerty
    Free Member

    oldnpastit – Member
    Humans. At least some of them. About 95% it would appear.

    FTFY

    Bimbler
    Free Member

    Apparently Pandas are not crap, this from Reddit

    Biologist here with a PhD in endocrinology and reproduction of endangered species. I’ve spent most of my career working on reproduction of wild vertebrates, including the panda and 3 other bear species and dozens of other mammals. I have read all scientific papers published on panda reproduction and have published on grizzly, black and sun bears. Panda Rant Mode engaged:

    THERE IS NOTHING WRONG WITH THE GIANT PANDA.

    Wall o’ text of details:

    In most animal species, the female is only receptive for a few days a year. This is the NORM, not the exception, and it is humans that are by far the weird ones. In most species, there is a defined breeding season, females usually cycle only once, maybe twice, before becoming pregnant, do not cycle year round, are only receptive when ovulating and typically become pregnant on the day of ovulation. For example: elephants are receptive a grand total of 4 days a year (4 ovulatory days x 4 cycles per year), the birds I did my PhD on for exactly 2 days (and there are millions of those birds and they breed perfectly well), grizzly bears usually 1-2 day, black bears and sun bears too. In the wild this is not a problem because the female can easily find, and attract, males on that 1 day: she typically knows where the nearest males are and simply goes and seeks then out, or, the male has been monitoring her urine, knows when she’s entering estrus and comes trotting on over on that 1 day, easy peasy. It’s only in captivity, with artificial social environments where males must be deliberately moved around by keepers, that it becomes a problem.

    Pandas did not “evolve to die”. They didn’t evolve to breed in captivity in little concrete boxes, is all. All the “problems” people hear about with panda breeding are problems of the captive environment and true of thousands of other wild species as well; it’s just that pandas get media attention when cubs die and other species don’t. Sun bears won’t breed in captivity, sloth bears won’t breed in captivity, leafy sea dragons won’t breed in captivity, Hawaiian honeycreepers won’t breed in captivity, on and on. Lots and lots of wild animals won’t breed in captivity. It’s particularly an issue for tropical species since they do not have rigid breeding seasons and instead tend to evaluate local conditions carefully – presence of right diet, right social partner, right denning conditions, lack of human disturbance, etc – before initiating breeding.

    Pandas breed just fine in the wild. Wild female pandas produce healthy, living cubs like clockwork every two years for their entire reproductive careers (typically over a decade).

    Pandas also do just fine on their diet of bamboo, since that question always comes up too. They have evolved many specializations for bamboo eating, including changes in their taste receptors, development of symbiosis with lignin-digesting gut bacteria (this is a new discovery), and an ingenious anatomical adaptation (a “thumb” made from a wrist bone) that is such a good example of evolutionary novelty that Stephen Jay Gould titled an entire book about it, The Panda’s Thumb. They represent a branch of the ursid family that is in the middle of evolving some incredible adaptations (similar to the maned wolf, a canid that’s also gone mostly herbivorous, rather like the panda). Far from being an evolutionary dead end, they are an incredible example of evolutionary innovation. Who knows what they might have evolved into if we hadn’t ruined their home and destroyed what for millions of years had been a very reliable and abundant food source.

    Yes, they have poor digestive efficiency (this always comes up too) and that is just fine because they evolved as “bulk feeders”, as it’s known: animals whose dietary strategy involves ingestion of mass quantities of food rather than slowly digesting smaller quantities. Other bulk feeders include equids, rabbits, elephants, baleen whales and more, and it is just fine as a dietary strategy – provided humans haven’t ruined your food source, of course.

    Population wise, pandas did just fine on their own too (this question also always comes up) before humans started destroying their habitat. The historical range of pandas was massive and included a gigantic swath of Asia covering thousands of miles. Genetic analyses indicate the panda population was once very large, only collapsed very recently and collapsed in 2 waves whose timing exactly corresponds to habitat destruction: the first when agriculture became widespread in China and the second corresponding to the recent deforestation of the last mountain bamboo refuges.

    The panda is in trouble entirely because of humans. Honestly I think people like to repeat the “evolutionary dead end” myth to make themselves feel better: “Oh, they’re pretty much supposed to go extinct, so it’s not our fault.” They’re not “supposed” to go extinct, they were never a “dead end,” and it is ENTIRELY our fault. Habitat destruction is by far their primary problem. Just like many other species in the same predicament – Borneo elephants, Amur leopard, Malayan sun bears and literally hundreds of other species that I could name – just because a species doesn’t breed well in zoos doesn’t mean they “evolved to die”; rather, it simply means they didn’t evolve to breed in tiny concrete boxes. Zoos are extremely stressful environments with tiny exhibit space, unnatural diets, unnatural social environments, poor denning conditions and a tremendous amount of human disturbance and noise.

    tl;dr – It’s normal among mammals for females to only be receptive a few days per years; there is nothing wrong with the panda from an evolutionary or reproductive perspective, and it’s entirely our fault that they’re dying out.

    /rant.

    Edit: OP did not say anything wrong but other comments were already veering into the “they’re trying to die” bullshit and it pissed me off. (Sorry for the swearing – it’s just so incredibly frustrating to see a perfectly good species going down like this and people just brushing them off so unjustly) Also – I am at a biology conference (talking about endangered species reproduction) and have to jump on a plane now but can answer any questions tomorrow

    Pandas not crap shocker, just the product of bad press

    Oh and cats

    slowoldman
    Full Member

    Slugs.

    Yeah. Homeless snails laying sticky trails all over the show. GET A JOB.

    LS
    Free Member

    Wigglesworthia glossinidia

    gram negative endosymbiont of the tsetse fly, lost a large part of it’s genome and is the animal with the smallest known genome.

    Useless

    Not useless at all – manages to get another organism to do the vast majority of the work for a small amount of niacin in return. Pretty good deal I’d say, nice work 😆

    sirromj
    Full Member

    You know fake eyelashes? Daddy Long Legs. So not so useless after all.

    DezB
    Free Member

    Can only be the dung beetle. the daddy of shit animals.

    shermer75
    Free Member

    Tapir, but also my favourite! 🙂

    nickc
    Full Member

    LS, dammit, ok, then how about one of the exnoturbellids, no brain, no guts, no bum, and no sex organs, but weirdly out of all the invertebrates, one that shares an ancient ancestor with us, surely no more useless creature? If they didn’t exist probably nothing in the world would change much, but if their ancestor hadn’t existed, we wouldn’t either…

    PimpmasterJazz
    Free Member

    Sheep.

    Well, there was plenty of proper sheep shit on the field I rode up this morning.

    PJM1974
    Free Member

    Big gloopy tube with no brain

    Not entirely useless, it would stand an excellent chance of being Foreign Secretary.

    Most useless? Daily Mail readers.

    tiggs121
    Free Member

    Cats – the household type. Pointless.

    molgrips
    Free Member

    Aren’t we all pointless?

    4130s0ul
    Free Member

    Seagulls! evil little shits the lot of em

Viewing 40 posts - 1 through 40 (of 93 total)

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