Around where I live I tend to batter her boyfriend first then tell her and her mates that I’ve headbutted Police before as well as being in Strangeaways. All you need is to buy said lady flowers once and she describes you as a gentleman to all her friends.

(I’ve actually HEARD all the above as well as chatting casually to a ex-bouncer who’d just been released the day before from Strangeways for headbutting a Policeman who came to arrest him at home)..

Our Gym is interesting

Our Gym is interesting

You go to the gym??

“Do you have a mirror on your stomach, ‘cos I can see myself in your knickers”

I thought this was comedy gold, then I worried that she might think I want to wear her knickers. Which I then thought about and realised its not so bad

Then again, you might be a munter…

with a taste for

alexxx – Member

Anyone got any magic tips on seduction technique… foods cooked, wines being drunk, laughs being had… nice eye contact… but im still not 100% sure shes into it… do I man the **** up or try to find out more?

Just for clarity- are you posting from the table at which you’re having this meal? If so, just show her this thread.

You go to the gym??

we all don’t give up like you 🙄

we all don’t give up like you

Genius – comedy retort of the year. If going to the gym makes me look like a moon faced Freddy Mecury, I’ll give it a miss ta

with a taste for

True. In fact that could be emsz and her bird.

Well, everyday’s a school day. I’ve just learned that you don’t make conversation about DIY. Who’d have guessed.

If going to the gym makes me look like a moon faced Freddy Mecury

Better than looking like a long-faced Chimp then? 😆 😉

Better than having a face like a long-faced Chimp then?

I’ve been called a lot of things but a long faced chimp is a new one. I give up, you’re clearly not going to bite – you win 😆

I’ve had no coffee today

As Keith Lemon Says “feel the cloth of my sleeve – that’s boyfriend material”!!

Good luck!!

Is the technique different for an “ugly” lady?? 😉

[video]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MAhCpAS2AwA[/video]

Pay attention, make them laugh, be yourself.

Don’t put on the following, whip out a bottle of Baileys and 2 mugs;

[video]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uyrlEE9AV58[/video]

This thread needs photos so we understand the level of flange being dealt with here

“Long faced chimp” if the comments above are anything to go by.

We need photo’s +1

wrecker – Member
She needs to see the goods. It’s only right that you oblige…..

Just not in your Bibs, that won’t work.

Sensibly, take her out for a drink and watch for the signs – eye contact, playing with her hair, damp patch on her chair etc. If you get all of those, its time to ask to escort her home – your home.

Read “The Game” by Neil Strauss

Pick up artists book.

Is the technique different for an “ugly” lady??

“here’s some chips (*), now drop ’em”

* that’s the foreplay

Hang on, I’m confused, is he actually in the middle of seduction and sneaked of for advice from the mind hive that is STW?

Anyway magic tips: Just be yourself.
Don’t wear any of that cheap foreign muck bottled as Eau de porc, don’t eat too much garlic.
And really, really don’t whisper romantically into her ear ‘insert incorrect name here’.

Good luck.

Be old fashioned. Tit her up first.

( http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cjVSz_n-7TE )

Bunnyhop – Member

Anyway magic tips: Just be yourself.

Unless you’re terrible, then be someone else.

You don’t want to live with a woman who constantly complains about your favourite thing in life! So if you are looking for a keeper, then tell her about your bike habit straight off. If she panics, she’s not the one for you.

Bunnyhop – member

And really, really don’t whisper romantically into her ear ‘insert incorrect name here’.

Too true. That time I called you Julian just killed the moment.

Lick her face, call her ‘My little project’ and order for her.

They love that.

Too true. That time I called you Julian just killed the moment.

Well totally understandable as we are like identical twins. MartynS has also made this mistake.

Buzzlightyear has it. Take her into the garage and show her the collection before any rumpy pumpy. She needs to know that’ll you’ll be spending all of the weekends on an mtb and riding off on dark, windy, wet nights, coming back dripping wet and covered in muck from the outset

Well totally understandable as we are like identical twins. MartynS has also made this mistake.

Which way round? 🙂

Serenade her

[video]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GFDzQD-LR80[/video]

IHN – Member

Well totally understandable as we are like identical twins. MartynS has also made this mistake.

Which way round? 😯 Is there something you’re not telling me 😉

Whisper in her ear: “It puts the lotion in the basket, or it gets the hose again”

Works every time.

ask her 1st if she likes rimming if not **** her off. 😉

Misread the title as “Pretty Lady Suction Techniques”…

😆

I’m a bit shy so I just showed her this video Kudos… we’ll see if she replies

[video]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JziE11E1zSY[/video]

Good man.

It’s too late now but your perfect line earlier today would have been “the world is ending soon and I dont want to die a virgin.

don’t act too keen, if she’s interested then make her work for it as well. If she’s not that bothered she might not be worth busting a nut over.

You need to be on the Pick Up Artist forum, http://www.pick-up-artist-forum.com/, also read the book ‘The Game’

dripping wet and covered in muck

yeah, just tell her that’s what you and your mates have got planned and how would she like to join in

“if you’re lucky i’ll introduce you to me dungeon wife”

always makes their undergardens go frothy