A colleague is leaving our office next week who used to play practical jokes. We’ve done all of the common ones; computer screens inverted (CTR-ALT –down arrow), phone screens changed to another language, phone cradle button held down with blu-tack so it doesn’t answer when handset is pick up and keeps ringing, cling film on the toilet seat even!
All utterly childish and a waste of time, but gives us a giggle every now and then.

Now it’s time for retribution and time to share your office practical jokes.

Screen shot desktop, copy all icons into a new folder then set the screenshot as the background

Sellotape over the mouse laser

Post item for sale on a classifieds site. Great item at ridiculous price. Put his office number in advert

Thanks guys … ploting already!! 🙂

Bum their dog, classic!

Hold on, what are we trying to achieve again?

find an unlocked PC, send loving IMs to colleagues.

Swap their keyboard letters around. Step 1 is just swap N and M keys around. Later on, just make rude words

Take a screen capture of his desktop, delete all icons, set windows toolbar to autohide and to the top of the screen and then set the screen capture as his desktop background.

Poison their pot plant?

cable tie their feet, legs, hands and arms to their office chair so they cannot move. Then stick them in a lift and send to a random floor

Plug a second mouse into their PC for someone else to control.

Flip the screen?

Hold the Alt key (usually positioned to the right or the left of the space bar) and then the Ctrl key (found below the shift keys) and press the right arrow key. This will flip your display to the right (90 degrees). Hold the Alt key, Ctrl key, and press the down arrow key to turn the display upside down (180 degrees).

My first ever job i failed to get the required alevels to maintain the training plan. So i got another job and worked my notice. We were all mates, i shared a flat with one of them, so i got quite a hard time before i left

1) Got to work and all my underwear was strung across my desk
2) All my equipment was glued to the ceiling
3) My suit jacket ended up flying from the flagpole outside
4) My car had WANK1 number plates on it which i didnt notice for a week
5) They got me absolutely slaughtered on my last lunch break and bought me half a pint of southern comfort which i refused to drink. Back in the office i was bragging i could have drank it if i wanted to and mate pulls out same glass with cling film over the top. I downed it in one. Next minute i get a call from the head man (It was an insurance co and it was like the old days of head man in big office upstairs)to come and see him. Mate walks me up the stairs opens the door and pushes me in hardly able to stand up.

I was 17 so an easy target

Do nothing, nothing at all, just look at him and ask how he is feeling every so often, get everyone to do it. The suspense will kill him

Replace Windows system sounds with your own – James Youngman got a clip from “YMCA” [video]https://youtu.be/CS9OO0S5w2k?t=12s[/video]

Have him abducted by heavily armed men wearing balaclavas, thrown in the boot of a car, driven out to an empty warehouse, in a desolate deserted wasteland, then held against his will for 48 hours while being regularly waterboarded. Maintain throughout that he’s about to be executed.

Or is it just me who thinks that would be a suitable, and entirely justifiable, course of action for the ‘office joker’?

Cling film their car.

Assuming they have a fabric type office chair, pour water on the seat.

picolax in his morning coffee??

You have already put his stapler in a jelly, yes?

Super glue them to their chair then set them on fire.

Turd in the desk drawer.

cable tie around his phone handset cord so it makes a loop. When he answers the phone, he will have to put his face right on the phone to be able to speak. Especially cruel if a customer calls in before they notice.

Subtle ones are the best, e.g. blu-tac in the castors of his chair so it won’t move, turn his drawers round if they are on wheels and hide the key.

cress-bomb their keyboard. remove the keys place tissue paper in the relief and moisten, spread cress seed evenly and replace the keys, keep moist for a few days and hey-presto cressboard!
I did have a few pics from when we did it but cannot find them at the mo.
it’s even funnier if you refuse to provide them with an alternative keyboard so they’re forced to type over the cress.

alternatively, if their email account is shortly to be closed why not use their email address and send it to various dodgy websites so when they log-in on their last day they’re bombarded with turtle-pron and Viagra offers or set them up on a dating site.

Divert the fax machine to their phone.

Make them coffee and put chilli sauce around the rim of the cup.

Lots of fun things can be done with outlook, meddling with address lists, rules to forward on emails. Quite dangerous though.

Lvl 2 screen flip is to turn off the keyboard shortcuts for flipping the screen.
Lvl 3 is to do a reghack to completly disable reflipping or reflip at random intervals after going back to vertical.

Buy a domain name that looks similar to the companies. Send an email from the head of HR saying that as they have been informed that they have behaved inappropiately pranking colleagues that they are unable to provide them with a positive reference.

Ha, good work.

Annoyatron them. Goddam they drive people crazy.

http://glitterretribution.co.uk/spring-loaded-glitter-canon/

Pinch his car keys. Then empty all the hole punchers into an envelope. Head to his car and turn ignition on. Then direct all the fans to the face turn on to full power then turn ignition off. Once you have done this poor all of the hole punch pieces down the main vent. Make sure everyone heads out to wave him goodbye. Oh and laugh at the absolute explosion as he turns the ignition on

Or put all of them above the sun visor.

I got a girl in work with a similar one except I put them inside her umbrella. She didn’t open it for ages until one day when she was leaving her flat in a hurry. She opened it in her communal stairwell before stepping outside and dumped a ton of paper everywhere

Hole punches in the umbrella was a fave where I worked, not a euphemism, sadly

An increasing number of layers inside his phone earpiece and mouthpiece. Works well if you all speak softer and softer over the week.

Edit the autocorrect settings in whichever desktop applications you/they use so that normal, everyday, innocuous words suddenly become very naughty ones.

I did that when I worked at the Home Office in retaliation for the old keyboard letter-switcharoo. Poor bastard got a written warning for signing off all his correspondence “Yours in disgust”.

I like really petty ones. The wee circles of paper from a hole punch are very versatile. I got a letter from Saudi Arabia, opened it up, boom, paper everywhere- that one’d taken some planning. Person in question left the organisation and when we sent out her P60, she ended up with paper snow in her breakfast.

Googly eyes have unlimited uses. Another colleague has had everything she owns googlied yet still didn’t notice, til going through US customs, that this included her passport. Apparently that gets treated pretty much the same as declaring yourself to be a terrorist.

I can read and use a mouse upside down for some reason so when I get my screen flipped I just carry on, that annoys the flipper more than it could have ever annoyed me.

Loving the fax machine idea.

I tend to favour getting someone’s hat/gloves/jacket soaking wet and putting it in the freezer.

Sent a weblink to colleague which directed him to a site which flashed on and off with bright pink screen with words “I AM WATCHING GAY PORN”. It also disabled the mouse and keyboard so after almost minute of panic including trying to cover his hands over the screen (the boss could see his screen from his desk) he remembered to turn the screen off. He still reminds me about it and it was over 10 years ago.

Sent a weblink to colleague which directed him to a site which flashed on and off with bright pink screen with words “I AM WATCHING GAY PORN”.

I did this to someone approx 18 years ago

I didn’t realise there was also a loud siren accompanying it as I had the audio switched off on my PC; he was on ours bosses laptop with volume on quite loud 😆

Send him a spreadsheet with a macro which fires upon opening that is set to email everyone in the office directory with a awkward message. End the macro with a pop up message telling him to check his sent items.