Anyone else excited?

I’m disappointed they haven’t updated the format since the last series. All the excitement in splurge. They’d do better to learn from the Big Brother format, and put cameras all over the Sistine Chapel and vote Cardinals out every 6 hours and then last three Proto-Popes have to fight to the death, using those sticks with the gold knobbly end bits like ninja staffs.

I can’t even find the phone numbers for when the lines open yet, they must be keeping them back until we’ve met all the contestants…

It’s all (black and white) smoke and mirrors.

he’ll win 😉

The great roman Pope off, with Mary Berry. The one with the least soggy bottom wins.

It would make great TV and could run and run.

Well, that’s the Singing and Dancing round done. I didn’t feel anyone really stepped up above the rest.

I have had a chance to review the field and have decided one thing. We should for the sake of decency skip the Swim Suit round.

So, I think I’m right in saying the next round is…. the steeple chase? yes?

EDIT: Awwww, they’ve just chucked the BBC cameras out of the room. This next bit must be on Sky as Pay Per View or something.

from the BBC website:

Conclave interactive video
Philippa Thomas presenting conclave interactive video

Step inside our virtual Sistine Chapel as Philippa Thomas explains the process to elect a new Pope

err…. no thanks. and can I have the 2p back of my BBC license contribution that paid for this please?

Pope on a Rope ?

Why take one into the shower when 2 others will follow.

* expects a ban *

Lol at uwe-r 😆

Well we’ve been spared the bikini round – we have a winner.

The successful proto-pope will now quickly weave himself a cocoon and pupate for 30 minutes on gas mark 5.

Upon emerging he will be handed the log in details to the papal twitter account and his pick of the Vatican junior choir…

I love all this medieval differerent coloured bonfires nonsense but they ought to model it more on the Archbish of Canterbury selection process…

Bishops fighting to the death

Bishops fighting to the death
26-09-12

BISHOPS wearing futuristic body suits are locked in deadly combat beneath Gloucester cathedral.

Dr Williams was handy with a large axe

Dr Rowan Williams’s retirement has triggered the traditional, violent archbishop selection battle known as the Game of God.

Under the strict conventions of the game, Bishops wearing tight-fitting overalls are released into the bewildering network of tunnels beneath Gloucester cathedral. The only rule is ‘no surrender’, with the coveted church boss title going to the last surviving senior cleric.

The initial phase is a race to find the weapons, food and crucifix-branded medical packs scattered throughout the tunnels. There is also a limited number of bibles, which can be used for spiritual sustenance or to hit other bishops over the head with.

The Bishop of Durham has already been shot through the liver with a crossbow, while the Bishop of Carlisle has been garrotted.

A C of E spokesman, watching the deadly game unfold via video cameras hidden in gargoyles, said: “The Bishop of London and the Bishop of Coventry have formed an alliance based on London having a box of protein biscuits and Coventry carrying a big crossbow.

“The Archbishop of York, Dr John Sentamu, is hiding in an alcove with a samurai sword. Unfortunately though he’s a bit wheezy, which is rather giving the game away.

“My money’s on the Bishop of Norwich, who has physical stamina, excellent tactics and a harpoon gun.

“Overall, this is a real tough bunch of bishops.”

The Bishops have 48 hours to kill each other, after which the catacombs begin to fill up with water and the focus switches to who has the best lung capacity.

The spokesman said: “It may seem old-fashioned to some, but they’re all here voluntarily. When you play the Game of God there can be only one winner.

BREAKING NEWS: first pictures of new pope revealed.

https://i.chzbgr.com/maxW500/7135481088/h76E718A5/

Thank you everyone, this thread has given me a real laugh. 😆