This morning a Birmingham man in his very late 30’s realised that it may not have been a good move to go out for an Indian meal and eat copious (read: enormous) amounts of various pickles with his meal the night before his father-in-laws funeral.

He may, if not too traumatised report back later…

get as much as you can out the immodium the rest

Now we are getting uber niche where we have soiled ourselves, where will it stop? 😀

Oh Mike – I have done both believe me…

Just sit near the rear, so you can poop out the back if the urge hits.

In the front row…

Shoes polished. Check!
Shirt ironed. Check!
Located cuff links. Check!
Baby wipes and spare pants. Check…

In the front row…

Then you’re doomed.

😆 not much is funnier than joking about poo, whether you’re 6 or 66!

Excellent!

If I’m ‘at risk’ of a blow out on the way I may even dare to overtake Molgrips to get to a toilet on time.

cycle to the funeral and ‘accidentally’ forget to remove the cycle clips from your trouser legs?

“It’s what he would have wanted”

?

The good news is that dark trousers won’t look out of place

Sorry for your loss 😥

I’ve been I’ll for a few days. High level man flu.

Anyway, my lesson of the day was ‘never trust a fart’

Been a few years since I’ve done that in my own bed, although I’d not eaten since Tuesday so it wasn’t too horrific. I don’t think you could classify it as poo tbh, no solids involved.

piemonster – Member

I don’t think you could classify it as poo tbh, no solids involved.

😆

You are about toenter the an(n)als of family history.

Be brought up without fail at every family gathering ever.

Bit like when cousin dan-bob set fire to his face with a flaming sambuca at his sisters wedding.

(Condolences btw)

Well I made it through – not follow through luckily!

More than I can say 🙁

Whenever funerals are mentioned I am minded of the last funeral I attended, although no toilet issues were involved.

Picture the scene. In our seats, we had to bow our heads for some moment of quiet contemplation or other. Open backed chairs, my aunty (she was about 55yo, me 35yo then) was sat directly in front of me.

As she bowed, her blouse raised at the back. As I bowed my head at this solemn moment, my face was forced tight against her now revealed builders cleavage and string thong
[/cathartic post]

Nice!

Attending the funeral of a friends son, who had tragically committed suicide by throwing himself in front of a train after years of drug abuse and partying, we had all been on the razz as a mark of respect for a few days..

A mate, infamous for his ability to conjure up the most cringeworthy moments (sometimes intentionally but equally as often by simple blunder) had his ringtone set as the theme from Thomas the Tank Engine.. I checked and double checked with him on arrival that he had reset it and turned his phone off, but of course that still didn’t prevent the inevitable..

Luckily it was that sort of do, and folk saw the funny side, but I still could have leapt on top of the casket with embarrassment when it happened

had his ringtone set as the theme from Thomas the Tank Engine..

Might have been worse, ringtone could have been “Staying Alive”. Or “Don’t Fear the Reaper”. Or the Pink Panther theme.

In fact, this could be a whole new thread… “Most Inappropriate Ringtone at a Funeral”.

* Might be missing something, but what’s wrong with Thomas the Tank Engine as a ringtone?

Might be missing something

We were attending the funeral of a lad that had committed suicide by throwing himself in front of a train

Luckily it was that sort of do, and folk saw the funny side, but I still could have leapt on top of the casket with embarrassment when it happened

Not surprised! 🙂

Ha Ha, awesome thread!
At my step-grandads funeral as everyone was leaving, one relative went to pay his respects and his sunglasses fell into the grave on top of the casket, I stood some distance away, first watching him contemplate leaving them, then trying to reach them, then watching while an undertaker jumped in and retrieved them.

Priceless! The old man would have loved it!

We were attending the funeral of a lad that had committed suicide by throwing himself in front of a train

Ah. Yes, I can see how that would be quite upsetting.

OP, was it a “Font Filler” ?

Luckily the deluge held off until post-service – although I’m worried I may have OD’d on Immodium…

due to the medication i am on every 2weeks my bowls have a hissey fit. i find that water is more solid than the storm that follows lucky not happened in a customers house yet..baby wipes are a must on these days. 😳

I don’t think you could classify it as poo tbh, no solids involved.

i find that water is more solid

Both of those are similar to me if I eat the sugar free Ricola sweets. Within 30 mins it’s like a scene from the Picolax thread… Unfortunately I found that out in Morzine with bib shorts under my baggies. My “poo sense” kicked in (like spidey sense but both more useful and less cool). As a result I shamefully used the disabled loo thinking if I made a mess and there was nothing to clean the toilet with that no one would blame someone with a disability for being fecally untidy…

Need a poo at a funeral? Just find a hole in the ground.

Turns out its a fairly sever case of Gastroenteritis.

Never had blood taken for the trots before, and I can’t say I enjoyed filling the specimen bottle. Blood in your do do is normal……right?

Get well soon, poomonster.

It definitely isn’t Piemonster. I had a severe bout of that a few years ago. It’s tough going – leaves you feeling very washed out and weak. Mine started on a trip to Coed y Brenin and never has a ride been so hard… I felt like death by halfway around.

Get well soon!

Bravo whoever is responsible for the first tag

At my grandfathers funeral my Dad had asked, as per his late father’s wishes, to have a dignified military funeral march played as the coffin was taken into the crematorium. As befitted his army background. Something from Elgar or Beethoven.

Instead we got Liberty Bell which is best known as the theme tune to Monty Python. Not quite the solemn send-off I think he expected…

Instead we got Liberty Bell which is best known as the theme tune to Monty Python. Not quite the solemn send-off I think he expected…

Genius! You have to question how some peoples mind work…