Earlier Today (im not making this up)
Went to Instore to buy mrs cloudnine some cheap gardening gloves and behind the counter is a large stack of toilet rolls..
Assistant.. ‘Would you like some toilet roll to go with that??’
Me.. errrr ‘Toilet roll to go with my gloves?’
Assistant.. ‘Yes..’
Me.. [looks at gloves and looks pensively at assistant].. ‘Do you sell any laxatives??’ I cant see any other scenario today that would require toilet rolls to go with these gloves.
Assistant… ‘Forget it you sicko’

I mean really.

I then walked next door into argos to buy a small garden gazebo as i wanna do some dusty woodwork outside and its been threatening to drizzle.
Assistant. ‘Oh.. the one you want is actually on special offer.. you should really think about buying two of these.’
Me.. ‘Errr… why would i need two 3m square gazebos?’
Assistant… ‘Look how you could be saving!!’
Me.. ‘errr… by buying two instead of the one that i came in for?’
Assistant… ‘Yes.. and if you took out a store card it would…
Me..[interupting her].. ‘I’m quite short of time. If it came with some free sex toys aswell i would go for it.’
Assistant.. [Goes bright red and just takes my card].. ‘Thanks.. just the one gazebo.’

Local Wickes where doing that , gave them the postcode of the local prison, and said i was out on day release, and where did they sell hacksaw blades.

Well……..you thought of saying that………after the event

At the time you actually gave them your postcode 😉

I went to Maindy leisure centre in Cardiff to use the splendid outdoor cycling track. I was dressed in full lycra, cycling helmet, track mitts, full on biking shades, looking like a taller fatter older Mark Cavendish. I went to the counter, thinking it was obvious why I was there. After a second she said ‘Swim, is it?’

I don’t mind shop assistants trying to ‘up-sell’ (as it’s called in the trade). As mentioned above, it does work. They aren’t to know that you are super-humanly clever and resistant to their guile.

Perhaps you should have a T-shirt made with ‘I am TandemJeremy’ written on it.

a T-shirt made with ‘I am TandemJeremy’ written on it

bloke told me a story that it was his birthday and he was going to the pub with his mates. One of them turned up to pick him up and gave him a t-shirt saying “I am Alan Smith” (or whatever his name was) to wear.

He put it on and got to the pub to find 50 people in their wearing t-shirts saying “Alan Smith is a w*nker”.

I’m just wonderign what the ‘reaction’ slogan to an “I am TandemJeremy” t-shirt is;

“Well, I won’t try my tried and tested sales guile on you then”
“The branding in this shop is pointless!”
“You’ll know your rights, then”

Ironically, TJ has become a brand.

Ironically, TJ has become a brand.

😀

Is http://www.tj.com available?

“Do you want ketchup with that?”

“What… in my milkshake???”

“Can I help you” – in your face annoyance when you clearly want to just look

Completely ignoring you when you really do want to talk detail with someone…

MF – it is!

You know what to do…

You know what to do…

😈