I’ve got a 6 year old lad and he is probably one of the biggest and strongest kids in his class. He’s got a couple of mates who are quite a bit smaller and lighter than him.

Last week the mother of mate #1 complained to my wife that my son had bust his lip. As a result my lad got a good telling off and was reported to his teacher.

I was at a party this morning and witnessed the boys at play. For most of the time the game with his friends consisted of charging around and jumping on each other. Together the two other lads can bring my boy down and it is all treated as a big game. However, mate #1 decided to have a go on his own and my lad swatted him away. Mate #1 then came up to me and complained that my son had punched him. I can see that this is a game, as can my boy and his mates. However mate #1 only likes it if he has the upper hand and goes running off to tell when he loses.

So… I don’t want my boy to get a reputation as a bully or a fighter (because he isn’t) and I don’t want my wife to be confronted again next time it happens. As the boys are all 6 years old talking to them was a waste of time. I sat them all down and explained the situation and they looked at me like I was talking a foreign language.

Not sure what we can do.

let em be boys mate. I will happen when you are not there anyhow.

get the snivelling grass taken out of the equation.. hitman?

let em be boys mate. I will happen when you are not there anyhow.

I don’t mine ’em being boys. Mate #1’s mother doesn’t see it the same way though.

get mate #1 a gym membership and steroids, or a doll.
seriously short of getting new friends nothing will change until they catch your son up growth wise.

teach boy 1 judo
get your kid to sometimes let them get him down 1 -1
Discuss it with your wife and agree with her.

teach boy 1 judo

That is mate #1’s parents problem.

What is the school Playground and play practice like?
You can speak to them, even at 6. Our 8 year old is similar (sat next to me in aged 10-11 clothes…) and lives rough and tumble. Good second row I reckon . however we have had to chat to him and eldest about not batttering living daylights out of others. I even spent a fair while doing rough and tumble with them to teach them the limits and ‘ways’.
Speak to other Parent to reassure you have had a chat, but reinforce that the three boys are all quite tough with each other.

get the snivelling grass taken out of the equation.. hitman?

+1

The most important thing to do is to give it only the attention that it deserves and nothing more.

I’d have a chat with your son and ask him to be a bit gentler with the sissy boy. Speak to sissy boy’s mum and tell her you’ve told your son to be extra gentle with her child. If anything further happens that she is unhappy about then she can get her son to play with other kids.

Oh, and drop me an email and I can post a hard copy of this for the head teachers desk. Distraction, and put energy into something other than pile on, kung fu and bundles… 8)
http://www.ltl.org.uk/pdf/The-Good-School-Playground-Guide1382978938.pdf

Mate #1 in twenty years time.

It’s always difficult when these situations arise. I’ve a 7 year old boy and recognise the situation. First thing to bear in mind (and this is a bit of a generalisation) is that mothers will often take a slightly different view than fathers (who are usually more accepting of the ways of R&T). Second is that trying to properly influence what actually happens between the boys on a day to day basis is very hard. They’re at school now and any parent’s role in their day to day (even more so a working one) is necessarily proscribed.

IMO your best bet is to firstly try and have a constructive chat with the mother and father of boy #1. Focus on how they interact and getting across your interpretation what you see happening. Avoid blaming either party. Secondly have a chat with the teachers at the school. They may, or may not, be aware of the dynamic in the group. If they’re not it is important that they get some perspective and are not purely hearing the other mum’s point of view. This is particularly important if the other parents refuse to talk or insist in being unreasonable.

Hope it all works out, though the reality is that this will probably pass quite soon, prior to the next issue arising. As is the way of parenting 😉

No wonder he’s so sodding big!

Secondly have a chat with the teachers at the school. They may, or may not, be aware of the dynamic in the group.

Teacher is aware of the dynamic which is why a busted lip and load of claret didn’t go any further.

we have a lad who has always been tall. just turned 11 size 71/2 foot.
We noticed the size thing age 5-6 in school, when he puts his arm out at his chest height it happens to be at all his mates head height so looks like he’s going to high. It’s a fine line but we’ve been careful not to overdo his height as we don’t won’t him to feel different.
We had a problem with one of his “friends” at the time who sounds very similar character to your problem. We talked to his parents but the lad could do no wrong. Friendship over, move on. Thankfully other lad changed school as nobody would play with him in the end or the parents for that matter.

Get them to talk about what they did, don’t make them say sorry.

I was your son 50odd yrs ago 🙄
At secondary school we stopped “play wrestling” when I chucked a mate down a 12ft embankment on the sports field! I was wrestling 3 mates, the other 2 decided not to carry on 😆 Working on farms I was a lot stronger than the “townies”

Is there no playground supervision?

Get them to talk about what they did, don’t make them say sorry.

The boys are all fine about it until my lad gets the upper hand. They rucked and mauled for about 20 minutes without incident this morning until mate #1 had a go on his own then BLAM and the tale telling began.

Mate #1 is a nice kid and it was forgotten about within seconds but it bothers me when he goes home covered in bruises (like my lad does) and the next day his mum is having a pop at my missus.

Shame that mate #1’s parents weren’t at the party to see it. Next time we are all in the same room I’ll say something to his dad along the lines of “You can see why they are black and blue and get the occasional fat lip”.

6? Wait until they are 10 😉

My tiny 10 year old lady, was pushed/threatened all the way across a playground by one of her more bullish male classmates, only after she had backed away so much, that she hit the fence on the other side of the playground, did she plant him one….

Cue, hospital, lots of tears, days off school, x-rays, complaints of feeling dizzy, his mates taking the mic, parents went mental, we were called in for a meeting with the head, Dad tried to nut me one in front of the head, joy of joys!

HTS, welcome to the joy of playground parenting 😉

Dad tried to nut me one in front of the head, joy of joys!

Don’t think it’ll come to that! I’m on nodding terms with his dad as we do the same kid’s party circuit. Will say something next time we are sharing a ball pool.

Discuss it with your wife and agree with her.

In just nine words Junkyard has not only answered this question but also every other question ever asked. Mods you might as well close down the forum now, in fact the whole site. Actually I think the internet is now probably redundant.