Took the dreaded sachet of Picolax at 8am this morning (triple checked appointment date) and was primed for the full fury of what was to come based on reading the infamous Picolax Thread

97 minutes before the first eruption and nothing since. Dare I take the dog for a walk at lunchtime?

pop another sachet to be sure i reckon

Is that a rumbling noise I can hear?

Are you on the bog with your laptop?

Sure, take the dog out. Just don’t hang the poo bags in the trees.

Doc told me I can’t use the computer after the “procedure” in case I go mad buying stuff due to the sedative. He had one patient who bought a new car on the way home when his wife stopped for petrol. She’d been nagging him for a year about a new car and he just did it 🙂

That sounds like a brilliant excuse for a new bike

lucky sod. the standard is to be weeing out your arse for a few hours isnt it?

as far as i remember if you are ok after 95mins you will not see any serious effects

you will be fine

the dog needs a walk and it might be raining later.

So, was there a sudden and rapid expulsion?

He’s still out there, behind that tree

… starting a Tubgirl tribute act.

Cougar, really – no need! ming….

Nothing, nowt, zip. Took the second sachet at 4pm and I’ve had quite a few rumblings but no explosions since the initial one.

My initial smugness has been replaced with a fear that all relevant debris may not have been cleared and I’ll have to go through it all again.

1st sachet clears you out in a fairly normal fashion.
2nd sachet is akin to a pull through with a Christmas tree.

Don’t go far from the loo, the longer the fuse, the bigger the bang.

Hehe. That’s how it gets you.
Picolax sits dormant in your system, its action inhibited by the stress hormone Cortisol. You sit there figuratively shitting your pants about the impending literal shitting of your pants, and thus nothing happens. You give up waiting though, calm down, your Cortisol production drops. Meantime, you’ve put your shoes on and walked the dog 300 yards down the road. What happens next?

dont be fooled the worst is about to happen, make sure you keep drinking plenty of fluids and are wearing trousers/shorts with an elasticated waist

😆 at downshep and flying ox

Why do so many of you lot know so much about picolax? I’d never heard of it before here-what would you need to have to get it?

it is meant to clean you out before the bbc go in with their largest camera and crew

Ewww so you can’t eat on it then either? I’d rather book a colonic thingy? Much less hassle no?

its not a choice of one or the other it depends on what procedure you are going to endure

Lovely. Knocked out for it though presumably?

nope not knocked out when i had a visit

camera goes up. then you are inflated with compressed air. so they can see around. I had a good view of the monitor so could see what it looked like inside .

thing is they dont deflate you when it is over. you spend the next hour farting everywhere.

Emma – you should read the original picolax thread, as linked in the op. Epic, both in proportion and in content!

@trout lol, sorry but that made me chuckle 🙄

@fadda – cant face reading a whole about you lot giving yourselves the squits at the moment! 😯

It is truly hilarious 8)

It should be in the terms and condition to read it whe you sign up for STW.

Funniest thread in STW history I reckon! If the humour didn’t get you the suspense did.

The thing about being inflated is that at some point a pressure equilibrium is reached whereby you can fart continuously as the air pump inflates your guts. Not a sport that’s likely to catch on but you ain’t doing much else while lying there watching telly and marvelling at how pink and corrugated a poop chute can be.