Farting in front of a lady is not funny.
BURN THE HERETIC!
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People who leave reading material in the toilet/bathroom
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Posted 2 years ago #
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Farting in front of a lady is not funny..... Although Lady trumps are.
Err, no they are NOT. The stench usually has far more potency than any mere man can produce, and tends to linger for eons!
Posted 2 years ago # -
In some households the toilet is the only place where a chap can get half an hour of peace and quiet away from the wife and those small yappy things.
Posted 2 years ago # -
Why would you want to sit around in your own smell reading a book?
Sit, sh!t, wipe, go.
^^^ Woman!!
Posted 2 years ago # -
What about people who carry out an intermediate wipe during the procedure?
I can imagine the need to hoik one out with a finger if it gets stuck and interrupts proceedings.and listen to your colleagues making rude noises
PAARRRP, PLOP-PLOP
That would be funny. If... The shower at work wasn't separated from the cubicles just by a curtain. The things I hear when changing after riding to work. It's just not nice. Not nice at all.Posted 2 years ago # -
Lady trumps, true lady trumps are funny.
I'm not talking about the vile emissions some fat slapper makes after eating a curry and drinking 15 pints of guiness (reminds me of a sweaty seal giving you a round of applause).
True lady trumps are like pixie hiccups and smell only of talcum powder.
Posted 2 years ago # -
We ladies don't have time to read in the loo.
I really am not a happy bunny when mr. b.h. brings his book down from his morning ablutions, then puts the same book onto the kitchen table while eating his breakfast. Gross.
Posted 2 years ago # -
like the arabs mate, turn the pages with the right wipe the a##e with the left!
Posted 2 years ago # -
I've posted on here with my iPhone while sat on the can at work, it's my only computer access during work hours. Regarding the toothbrush thing, mine's kept in a case in a bag with my toothpaste, razor, etc, so contamination isn't an issue. Which is a good thing...
Posted 2 years ago # -
Who spends THAT long in the loo that they need to read? Christ I'd get bored (and a bit worried) if it lasted more than a minute or two.
Posted 2 years ago # -
We've got a pair of comedy thick glasses next to the bathroom mirror. I like to think that guests to the house might be inclined to try them on when they visit the loo. Should we dip them in bleach from time to time?
Posted 2 years ago # -
if your book is say,from the local library or charity shop then whether or not it is in the bathroom i think you have more to worry about than just your own chod being on the pages...
another thing i never do is wash my hands after having a lash in a public gents,,,, do you really think that the cleaner goes round disinfecting all the door handles in the place....
....and besides it builds up the immune system
mutter mutter OCD mutter
Posted 2 years ago # -
having a lash in a public gents
You get drunk in public toilets?? or do you mean a slash?
Posted 2 years ago # -
Slight hijack, but what do you do when you are staying for the first time with a new GF and you don't want to make unattractive trumpeting noises the morning after?
Girl did this once with me. A rolling wet fart as well. She was a natural stunning and slender female. I turned (quite quickly) in utter shock.
She said 'what what, you have been farting all night in your sleep so what is the problem'?
Posted 2 years ago # -
Have you seen the reading in the fertility problem clinics? They put it there for a reason, apparently, along with sample bottles.
Posted 2 years ago # -
I read on the toilet, and play games on my phone and send texts but not voice calls (ads def not video calls!). Ex's little dog used to come running like mad as soon as he knew where I was going so he could sit on the floor between my legs, and my dog likes to 'visit' - hey, life's one long party at mine!
Posted 2 years ago # -
Reading while having a dump is one of life's simple-but-great pleasures, though it does seem to be something only really enjoyed by males.
Surely there are other things to worry about than a few harmless germs on your loo book?
Posted 2 years ago # -
Here's one for you - Anyone stand up to wipe their behind??
And as with the "anyone look at their poo afterwards" - I think it's only really the brits that find this grim. I remember my first trip to Austria - they had the 'viewing tray' and I had no idea what to make of it!
Also, in the last day at Reading festival, there was a 'poo mountain' about 6 inches ABOVE the level of the toilet rim!I hate poo.....
DrP
Posted 2 years ago # -
DrP imagine working in a bumhole specialist unit. sorry I dont know the specialist terms first thing in a morning
Posted 2 years ago # -
Jamie - Member
I have a problem with that as my bathroom measures 6' by 5'6". What the chuff do I do?
Poo out the window.
Arrrrrrgghhh!
There isn't a window!!!!
Posted 2 years ago #
Topic Closed
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