Viewing 32 posts - 1 through 32 (of 32 total)
  • Partner's motoring near miss….
  • deepreddave
    Free Member

    My partner’s just recounted to me a tale of how an ‘idiot driver’ nearly hit her at a mini roundabout. Seemingly he was on her right but ‘wasn’t there when she approached’ the roundabout however they both braked and ended up stopped close to each other in the middle but without collision.
    My interpretation led to me saying that it sounded more like she must have not seen him as he approached and ought to have given way especially as he managed to brake to a stop prior to the middle of the roundabout. This is however definitely not right as I ‘wasn’t there so don’t know’. In addition I’m a **** for not believing her as she’s adamant he was nowhere near the roundabout when she looked. I’ve tried explaining likely speeds and braking distances but to no avail. Could she be right given the other car wasn’t a De Lorean? 😉

    scaredypants
    Full Member

    of course she’s right, you ****

    shifter
    Free Member

    Even if the whole of STW agrees with you, you’re still not getting any tonight.

    Fresh Goods Friday 696: The Middling Edition

    Fresh Goods Friday 696: The Middlin...
    Latest Singletrack Videos
    PePPeR
    Full Member

    You won’t win, it’s a pointless argument. 😉

    geetee1972
    Free Member

    I think you should both just focus on your good fortune to be having the conversation at all rather than you be posting about a terrible accident that had befallen your partner. In some ways it’s a good argument to be having. 😯

    Your partner will know what they did or didn’t do and I’m sure they don’t have a death wish so they’ve got little interest in trying to convince themselves of anything other than the truth even if you can’t work it out between you.

    deepreddave
    Free Member

    The post wasn’t a plea for relationship advice, more highlighting one of those situations where the driver ‘knows’ what happened but it makes no sense to the listener. Not really pointless either as greater futureawareness might be beneficial (though I don’t think we’re there yet ;))

    stumpyjon
    Full Member

    Yep there’s lots of drivers out there who think they were in the right regardless of how stupid they were like the woman who pulled out of stationary line of traffic from in front of an artic into my lane where the traffic was doing fifty (motorway slip road scenario) forcing me onto the hard shoulder. At the top of the slip road she’s then bawling and gesturing at me as if it was my fault. I probably just appeared as if by magic (from the huge blindspot created by the artic).

    cranberry
    Free Member

    Maybe the two of you could bond over a Playmobil recreation of the point when the other car removed it’s cloak of invisibility ?

    deepreddave
    Free Member

    There is a lot of lego in the house so we could. The main point of dispute was more the ‘appearing from nowhere’ v known laws of the universe i.e. well he was obviously much further back but travelling far too fast. I understand velocity but my reference to braking distances wasn’t met with the expected ‘oh I seeeeee’.

    badnewz
    Free Member

    It probably shook her up a bit so it’s cathartic to talk about it. The driver could have come from nowhere if he was really shifting and there was some kind of visual obstruction to the right, like an overgrown summer tree.

    boblo
    Free Member

    You’re using that logic thing aren’t you? Doubly wasted in this particular case.

    deepreddave
    Free Member

    badnewz – that’s my point, I’ve no doubt he was a little further back potentially but could he have been shifting but then managed to stop before half way across the roundabout?

    Ps you’re not my partner are you? And there is a waste bin on the corner but no tree.

    badnewz
    Free Member

    Something similar happened to me once, but that was because there was a massive tree which hadn’t been trimmed. We would have collided unless we both put the breaks on, as in emergency stop. I’d go back and check for tire marks to verify this story!

    deepreddave
    Free Member

    That would have put the person on the left in the wrong though yes?

    wanmankylung
    Free Member

    I’ve no doubt he was a little further back potentially but could he have been shifting but then managed to stop before half way across the roundabout?

    Go out and do a full blown emergency stop in your car and see if your opinion changes on what happened. You may well be surprised.

    tightywighty
    Free Member

    Truly amazing what people will tell themselves to absolve them of any blame. 😆

    badnewz
    Free Member

    Not in my case, the people to blame were a) the other driver, for approaching a mini roundabout at about 40 mph and not looking and b) highway maintenance for not trimming the tree. I approached at the right speed, checked as best as I could, and put the breaks on as soon as he came flashing by.

    takisawa2
    Full Member

    Perhaps you should re-enact the whole thing on GTA5 with our assistance…

    deepreddave
    Free Member

    40mph = 12m thinking, 24m braking distance. That would suggest he saw you 36m before the roundabout. Just saying. To be honest I was (foolishly) hoping for more support re the not there but just there thing 🙂 She’ll read this…..

    wanmankylung
    Free Member

    I’m aware of what the theoretical stopping distances are. What I asked you to do was go out and find what they are in reality. In a decent car with decent tyres on a decent road surface they are a lot shorter than what it says in the highway code.

    mikewsmith
    Free Member

    To be honest I was (foolishly) hoping for more support re the not there but just there thing

    Ah that old chestnut, if you had only explained what you wanted us to say in the OP…

    If the other driver was shifting well in excess of the limit then maybe, or like many things on the road Looking and Seeing are 2 different things. You can look to see if the road is clear or look for cars. It’s processed a bit differently. For your home life it’s a pointless discussion but just have an extra look when she’s next approaching a roundabout… I had a guy pull out right in front of me while riding round a roundabout – he just didn’t register I was there.

    boblo
    Free Member

    Breaks x2…. <sigh>

    badnewz
    Free Member

    That would suggest he saw you 36m before the roundabout. Just saying.

    In this case the other driver didn’t look at all.

    deepreddave
    Free Member

    badnewz – Member
    We would have collided unless we both put the breaks on…

    I’m confused then but not having a go at you at all.

    It’s easy to ‘not see’ someone (guilty more than once) for a number of reasons but logic says they must have been somewhere not too far away if they are on the roundabout at the same time as you. No matter what speed they’re doing (outside of something truly ridiculous in which case they wouldn’t be able to brake and stop beforehand) I take the view it’s my responsibility if they are to my right. Trees, sharp corners or whatever just mean I should have been approaching more slowly to ensure I could see it was safe to go surely? Anyway, to those broadly agreeing I thank you; to those not, my partner thanks you in her absence!

    Ps wanmankylung – thanks and I recognise that’s a possibility but my comments above refer. If I’m ever rich or poor enough I’ll test your theory at that very roundabout, after purchasing a nice big old 4×4 just to enforce my right of way 😉

    scaredypants
    Full Member

    She’ll read this…..

    OK,then it WAS her fault (in a court, if someone had been killed, which driver didn’t give way when they should? Sure, the other car could’ve been speeding as well but, without knowing the road layout, “just appearing” is almost always “I’ve only just looked”)

    Saccadic masking, other car moving faster than expected, her not concentrating – doesn’t matter which it was as it’d be her that was collecting another car via her driver’s door

    thegreatape
    Free Member

    Do not discuss, do not hypothesise, do not try and explain, do not offer solutions. Simply make sympathetic facial expressions and say ‘oh no’ and ‘oh dear’ at regular intervals. Depending on how observant your partner is, avert your eyes away from your newspaper whilst doing this. This is the first rule of marriage.

    deepreddave
    Free Member

    scaredypants – Thank you and I think you speak for the nation.

    thegreatape – You’re right of course but I was preoccupied with ‘the facts’. School boy error on my part.

    jota180
    Free Member

    When my wife rang me and said that her car had been wrecked and could I come and collect her, I made an awful error in my response.
    After asking if she was uninjured and feeling OK etc. I then said “what did you hit?”

    That was a mistake I made in 1999 and she still brings it up :-), she was taken out by a right turner coming towards and across her.

    breadcrumb
    Full Member

    Do not discuss, do not hypothesise, do not try and explain, do not offer solutions. Simply make sympathetic facial expressions and say ‘oh no’ and ‘oh dear’ at regular intervals. Depending on how observant your partner is, avert your eyes away from your newspaper whilst doing this. This is the first rule of marriage.

    This.

    I’ve been married less than a year but even I know this!

    j4mie
    Free Member

    No matter what the car to the right’s approach speed is or what they are doing, you must give way to them. I did the same in February and the guy must have been doing about 50 in a 30 limit, he went into the side of my car as I floored it to try to get out the way realising he was going to hit me if I stopped.

    Insurance said that even if he was stopped and waiting, I have to stop and give way to him.

    Case closed. Really annoys me now the number of people who do actually pull out and are in the wrong…

    molgrips
    Free Member

    People insist they were in the right because they are feeling defensive, and come out in the attack. She is defensive because she feels threatened, and she is taking it personally. This is not a female thing, most people do it. She needs to fee safe and confident talking to you about it, and also thinking about it herself.

    deepreddave
    Free Member

    molly – she’s very intelligent/confident and was seeking my opinion hence this was (to me at least) about her maintaining the other driver was at fault but unable to explain how he could be out of vision on her approach but end up at the same place at the same time on the roundabout. I think I was called a tw*t mostly in jest. We did go straight to sleep after that tho!

Viewing 32 posts - 1 through 32 (of 32 total)

The topic ‘Partner's motoring near miss….’ is closed to new replies.