let’s say that you had a friend who had asked you to join them cycling LEJOG for 2 weeks in June. You also had a wife and 3 year old daughter at home. Finances and holiday allowances dictate you can either go cycling with your mate for 2 weeks OR a family holiday in the sun for 2 weeks (Can’t do both).

just pretend of course 😳

I’d ask my wife and then make a judgement based on what she did and didn’t say.

what’s there to think about…………………..

Well, I would have to go with family first though if you can stretch finances then nowt wrong with being away from a three yr old for two weeks, you will be able to keep in contact via phone.

Ditching the family holiday is never going to work well.

I’d talk to your wife 🙂

…perhaps I’d miss her more than she would miss me.

I’m just not sure how she would react. There only ever been a handful of days she hasn’t seen me in 3 years.

So who has left a young child for a couple of weeks ?…did the kid even notice you had gone ? It’s probably me who would miss here more than she would me.

No.

Remember he/she will be with her mum so yeah its prob more about you missing her. I did a week recently when my wife had to go to her mums for a few days and took the little un. We all survived 🙂

……..go on the holiday with the family, if you value your “fun time” with your wife!

No. I went away once on my own for 3 weeks leaving my wife, 6 year old and 6 month old, with her blessing. never felt right and decided I’d not do it again. Long weekend away from small kids feels about the max for me.

My mum left me at home with dad when I was a nipper so she could go off pogo-sticking round the Dolomites with a friend.

Family everytime.

so she could go off pogo-sticking round the Dolomites with a friend

😯

My kids were 3, nearly , when I went off for a week and a bit to do the Megavalanche. They survived. I missed them (and the wife) at times but nothing lasting. The year before I went to Australia working for two weeks and the year after I working in India two weeks. Again, I’m sure they’d have preferred me to have been at home but it wasn’t the end of the world. I think the expectation of presents helps!

None of these compromised a family hol – I saved for the Megavalanche trip from ‘my’ money, not ‘our’ money.

To answer the ‘hypothetical’ OP… if I “had a friend who had asked you to join them cycling LEJOG for 2 weeks in June” I would only do it if I already had a burning desire to do LEJOG. As it happens LEJOG has very little appeal to me so I wouldn’t. I would much rather spend the time with my family.

Family holiday wins. I fancied riding LEJOG but it hasn’t been a long-burning ambition. Having a friend to ride with, who is also arranging transport, route etc made it very tempting. I’m going to have to set myself a few other challenges instead…perhaps Manchester to Blackpool, coast-to-coast, Mary Townley…

Have a week with your mate, and then a weeks family holiday?

As for been away, I’ve spent many, many weeks away ever since my kids were born – majority work related – never been a problem.

I feel your pain (hypothetically)

Its important to have your own time. I have a two yr old and an 8month old and whilst I love them a bit of bike time would be nice.

Not sure I could be away from them for two weeks but a week would be nice.

Depends on what your wife thinks I guess (hypothetically )

my one year old is on her way to France for a week right now and my 8yr old on her way to Norway and I have had a fair few 2week cycling holidays away from my family.. so..er.. yes!

oh.. and of course they notice when I’m away (or they’re away) but they don’t mind.

Is the wife at home with the 3 year old usually, with you out to work? If so, send her on LEJOG, then try to get the family holiday later.

I’ve been the stay at home parent, and have several times now had a holiday from my children, but wouldn’t do it instead of the family trip if funds were tight.

LEJOG can be ridden anytime, you’re only 3 once

or “does anyone ride LEJOG more than once? bet his mates won’t! your kids going to be 3 for a whole year!”

😉

2 weeks to do LEJOG? Man up and do it in a proper time so you’re not away for so long!

The issue here is nothing to do with not seeing your 3 year old for two weeks(can’t see a problem there) it’s putting your cycle holiday before the family holiday. Regardless of what my wife thought I would never do the latter.

My Father died around this time last year and some of my happiest memories of him were related to family holidays. These were very precious to us as he worked so hard and weird hours at other times.

No, to your question.

Leaving a child with other parent for couple of weeks is no biggie per se, but to put a “boys holiday” first and expect the missus to do all the work of looking after the nipper is a bit selfish, as it seems that isn’t a “regular” situation (e.g. away for work a lot) from the way you ask… IMHO though.

As suggested, talk to your wife; how about 2012 LeJog with them as well, providing “support” and seeing you each day? You could then have time to get fitter, do LeJog in a shorter time as fitter and lighter load etc and have some holiday time with them, too?

TBH, the fact that you asked and used an “embarrased” smilie tells the story already…

I spend half the year away from my family with a daughter almost 3 and son 20 months, but it’s my job and I wouldn’t choose to do it otherwise.
I went away to a stag do for a mate once and got hell for it and felt pretty guilty. Each to their own I suppose, but if my options were holiday for me OR holiday for the family and I chose the former I’d likely come home to an empty house.
However everyones situation is different and you have to judge the outcome for yourself.