I’d like to see the other side of this OP. You paint a bleak picture.

I’ll get my coat

I’ll get my coat

Top coat?

Can you arrange for a friend / someone else to call him on the pretence of quoting another job? When he arrives there are 4 or 5 of you there to escort him to the bank. Seems a lot easier and quicker than a small claims court and he must have his home address on him or in his van.

Do I get a prize for the worst overall gag?

Stop treading on eggshells and cut (in) to the chase.

Do I get a prize for the worst overall gag?

Yes. You get the Crown.

chakaping –
Grab him in the street and trestle him to the ground.

Prize goes chakaping. 2 tubs of unused emulsion.

I feel robbed!
I’ll be over silking in the corner.

I bet he’s blown the lot on strippers.

Well, the way I see it you have two options.
1. Get violent
2. Give him bad feedback somewhere

Yes, I think you’ll have to deck or rate him.

its not always bad to ask for cash upfront.. i certainly do if im asked to spend 1500 – 2 grand on a fireplace 850 on a fire.. thats a lot for me to stand so i usually ring the supplier and ask the customer to pay over the phone.. they get the stuff at trade and i get the work and i only stand to lose my time not 2.3/3k in materials..

£600? You’re taking it well. I’d be bristling.

Yes, I think you’ll have to deck or rate him.

Bravo!

This thread is full of caulking good suggestions.

a prime example of never pay until the job is done

It du lux like this guy did a runner with your cash.

https://www.moneyclaim.gov.uk/web/mcol/welcome

Its the online portal for the small claims court and is a very easy and cost effective way of doing it.

I’ll bear that in mind the next time I have a brush with the law.

Good god, that’s awful.
😀

I’d get my undercoat, if I were you.

I had a very similar problem with a guy I got in to do a new bathroom floor but he didn’t quite finish,
I tried chasing him to complete the job but in the end it was few tile.

colp – you sound like a bit of a grout-ch, to be honest.

The best (questionable) advice Id suggest is get a female friend to phone him for a quote and be a bit flirty on the phone with him, when he comes round for the quote at a neutral address give him a bit of a surprise by meeting him with some burly mates and a set of bombers”

OOf!

He’s painted himself into a corner. I’d be unprepared to gloss over it for that amount. On the surface it seems cracked but when it comes down to the rub I’m sure he’ll be disinclined to brush it off, leaving you with the desired finish. Trust me, it’ll be better overalls.

I think he has money issues and he’s just trying to paper over the cracks with your £600.

He’s obviously spent it getting plastered.

This is a serious issue. Some of this jocularity Sikkens me.
Stop being silly bergers!

A painter who robs people?

Dip Turpsin

Mortar the point, how will you get the job done?

Rockplough – Member
£600? You’re taking it well. I’d be bristling.

I totally agree. If he’d done it to me, I’d be a touch up in arms about it I can tell you!

Harris – Member
This thread is full of caulking good suggestions.

Even your username is a pun!

That’s dedication.

I think with all these puns we’re masking the real issue which is that this guy sounds lacquer right con man.

this guy sounds lacquer right con man.

its easel-y obvious he’s a con artist and now the OP is painted into a corner….and the puns keep rolling in… 🙄

Right paint comedians, You might be happy to know that i’d managed to open up a channel of communication with the missing painter with the £600.

My tactic was to basically to love bomb him with praise for his artisan skills and talent, and would he possibly mind coming back to my flat and finishing the magnificent work that he already started.

This appears to have flattered him and yesterday he appeared apologising profusely and worked until 10pm and finished the job whilst I fed him twiglets.

Frankly I’m glad the nightmare is over and I won’t have to see his fat face again.

Have a lovely Saturday evening.

Glad it has a nice finish.

You should be decorated for getting this result 😉

Get plastered….then on to strippers

That’s eggshellant news.

I knew this would start you all off again.

Just to put the other side on a friend decorated a house and was then told by the owner they had no money and weren’t paying. My mate took her photo then made up a lot of small poster type things and cable tied them to all the lampposts in her road telling his story and warning others. She very quickly found the money.

This has glossed the story off nicely. Glad it didn’t roll on forever…

hamishthecat >> Glad it has a nice finish.

Thread should have ended right there; perfection!