Just slipped on the polished wooden floor in what appears to be a very posh hotel room and cracked my big toe nail in half, sliced the skin on four toes, and landed heavily on my elbow.

Hotel room now looks like a scene from a Rocky Horror movie – there’s blood on the floor (wood and carpet), the towels, the bedding, the wall (no, I don’t know either) and smeared all over the bathroom floor and the bath.

I mean, who puts a polished wooden slope between the bathroom and the room?

Bloody hell, my elbow hurts. Alcohol, paracetamol and ibuprofen aren’t touching it at the moment.

Rolly Birkin? 😆

Dare you to call room service and not mention it at all 🙂

Bloody polish coming over here and making our floors shiny and slippery.

in what appears to be a very posh hotel room

I take it you’re not entirely sure where you are. Are you under the influence of alcohol or narcotics ?

I take it you’re not entirely sure where you are. Are you under the influence of alcohol or narcotics ?

Not at the time. This one was deceptive. Fancy polished floor and bidet in the bathroom but neither coffee and tea making facilities nor trouser press.

Therefore, on the Bill Bailey score of hotel rooms, it’s a 6. Looks posh, but ain’t.

Well at least you know that you’re definitely in a hotel room – that must be reassuring.

Report to hotel? Not a blame and claim person myself but that doesn’t sound safe at all.