There was a young man from Bengal
Who went to a fancy dress ball,
He thought he would risk it,
and went as a biscuit,
And a dog ate him up in the hall.

Or

A man stood on a bridge on night,
his legs were all a' quiver,
He gave a cough,
his leg fell off,
and floated down the river.

There once was a bohemian monk
who fell asleep on an old wooden bunk
he dreamt that venus
was tickling his elbow
and he woke up covered in sweat

LOL @ toys – naughty naughty, veeeery naughty 😉

There was a fair maiden called Heather
Whose labia were fashioned in leather.
She made a strange noise,
Which attracted the boys,
By flapping the edges together.

It's the cleanest one I know..

To amuse
Emus
on warm summer nights.

Kiwis
do wee-wees
from spectacular heights.

The boy stood on the burning deck
His a!!e against the mast
He had to watch his goolies as Slippery Dick ran past
But Slippery Dick was a slimy t!!t, he threw the boy a kipper
The boy bent down to pick it up, wham six inches up his sh!!!er

A dashing Gay Blade from Karthoum
Took a lesbian up to his room
The argued all night
As to which of them might
Do what and and with which unto whom.

Spike Milligan wrote this classic

Doctor O'Dell,
Fell down a well,
And broke his collar bone.
But Doctor's should attend the sick,
And leave the well alone!

Mary had a little bike
she rode it around the front
and every time the wheels went round
a spoke shot up her ………bottom.

There was a young man from Nantucket
His was so long he could suck it
he said with a grin, as he wiped off his chin
"if my ear was a i would huck it

There was a young lady called Rhoda
Who built an immoral pagoda
The walls of its halls
were festooned with the balls
of the unfortunate fools who'd bestrode her

boom tish

There was a young woman from Rhyl
Who used a dinamite stick for a thrill
They found her vagina in South Carolina
And bits of her tits in Brazil.

There was a young feller called Lee,
Who thought he'd been stung by a wasp,
But when he was asked
"Did it hurt?"said
"No, it can do it again if it wants"

Hat tip to Johnny Clarke for that one.

There was a young man from Brazil,
Who swallowed an atomic pill,
His heart retired,
His arse backfired,
And his willy shot over the hill.

There once was a man from Peru
Whose limericks stopped at line two

Very good all – chuckle – no cycling ones though 😉

I just made this one up, I know you can all do better than this…

I was surfing the internet at random
I found a forum warrior on a tandem
this cycling addiction
is a terrible affliction
So mods please would ya ban him

A timid biker was young foxy rider
until fortified by strong local cider
When out on the bike
she jumped what she liked
inspired by the apple juice inside her

I'm assuming foxyrider is a girl……

They're going to get worse…

A ficticious rider mark datz
lol 'ed at us wikid kule katz
it's our straight laced ways
makes him think were all gays
and a crowd of of unspeakable ****ts

If there is one thing I cannot abide
It is spending all day inside
The thing that I like
Is riding my bike
So please let me outside
to ride

By Eric Pinder

A plane on a conveyer belt indeed
Will build up tremendous ground speed
Its the thrust that it feels
Not the speed of the wheels
That generates the lift force that it needs!

Sorry actually a bloke 😉 but still foxy 😉 Your on a roll there toys 🙂

YOu coud just replace the she with a he though 🙂

Aluminium carbon or steel
Is it all a question of feel?
We've got it all wrong
More important all along
Is the rotating mass of the wheel

Sorryabout tge gender confusion…but cider would not rhyme with 'apple juice inside him'

No worries 🙂

There was a young lady from Exeter,
And all men did crane their necks at her,
But one went so far,
As to wave from his car,
The distinguishing mark of sex at her.

There was once a man from Japan,
who couldn't make verses scan,
when folks told him so,
he said "yes I know",
I think the biggest problem I have is that I always try to fit as many words in to the last line as I possibly can.