- This topic has 80 replies, 29 voices, and was last updated 13 years ago by timothius.
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OT: Getting a life – recommendations?
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projectFree Member
timothius – Member
The gay bar idea although crazy isn’t so bad. If I ever find myself hundreds of miles from here it might not be such a bad idea. People might talk to me first for once heh. (Would have to be somewhere that I never intend to go back to though – if the word got out some people would just not understand)Posted 9 minutes ago # Report-Post
Dont give a toss about what others perceptions are of your new freinds,and why /what would existing people you know fail to understand.
Also non of us know you,or you us,but we are all TALKING arent we, see its easy.
gusamcFree MemberTry this it – worked for me – discovered windsurfing, coasteering, paragliding (*even mountain biking – went to centre craps – cycled and remembered my teens) you get to try sports/things and meet people, some sports stick as do some people.
*Do some weekends – if you just do sports nights it’s – there, sport, drink, home, with weekends etc you do more socialising.
philconsequenceFree Memberhey dude, if you ever wanted to go for a chilled not so serious not too fast ride in a small group around swinley (bracknell, not too far from guildford) then give us a shout 🙂 conversation and pace is set by the slowest person 😀 best way to play if you ask me!
i’ve decided torm is going to join us, he doesnt know this yet, but ive decided.
Fresh Goods Friday 696: The Middling Edition
Latest Singletrack VideosFresh Goods Friday 696: The Middlin...cinnamon_girlFull MemberDon’t listen to His Awesomeness TSY – he’s obsessed with dating sites 😉 Huge number of weirdos on there and it won’t do anything for your self-confidence either.
As a stepping stone, go on a Forum Ride. It will be easy – everyone likes riding a bike and talking about bikes so no awkward silences to deal with.
Once you feel comfortable with that scenario, move on to perhaps an evening class. I would also suggest you check out:
for more activities than you can shake a stick at.
simonralli2Free MemberActually I am going to defend Plenty of Fish and the reason is that i used to run their Leeds parties. POF has a forum and one forum is for British members. What happens is that across the UK regular POF members organise parties, and these are a really great way to meet people may not be in the same position as you, but who are single, and who may have lots of friends who are now settled. I went to a party in Nottingham and met some fantastic sociable people. I was then inspired to get the Leeds parties going, and these then spread to Wakefield.
I am not saying you should go, but as the host I had lots of people, men and women who were v scared to walk in to the event on their own. I always ensured there were both male and female greeters, i.e. a woman could walk in and be introduced to other women first. After a few drinks any nerves soon went.
So yeah, the dating side on the website can be a bit hectic, but so what – have a look at the forums too and you can introduce yourself to the community slowly. There are a few very excellent and top people on the site, and I know plenty of couples who met that way.
Another thing i did was boxercise. Exercise classes such as this and circuit training and spinning (on bikes) is a good way to begin to meet people slowly. The first few classes you may only say a little hello, but then as time goes by you get to know the regulars who I am sure will be friendly. Yoga could be a good one too as you get to really chill out at the same time.
philconsequenceFree Memberby the way just in case the use of the word “dude” put you off… we’re early, mid twenties and an an OAP (31yrs old), the OAP is young for his age and me and the missus are definitely old for our age and very much against everything the yoof of today stand for!
PESKY KIDS!
no expectations of late nights, silly music or trousers around your knees… in fact if you turn up with your trousers hanging below your boxers then we’re riding without you 😉
TheSouthernYetiFree MemberHis Awesomeness TSY
… actually that’s kinda got a good ring to it…
[jumps up and down waving at phil] ooh, ooh… ooh… me, mee, meeee![jumps up and down waving at phil]
TorminalisFree Memberhe doesnt know this yet, but ive decided
Woooo, I will of course be daddy, having one foot so firmly in the grave at a grand old 32.
cinnamon_girlFull MemberLol at Phil 😀
But I must take you to task for referring to a 31 year old as an OAP. That is an outrageous statement. 😯
Note to self: Phil is definitely NOT invited to the next Swinley Forest Forum Ride cos no kids are allowed. C_G’s rules innit.
So there. 🙄
philconsequenceFree Membercan you get down to swinley son?
can you?!
CAN YOU?!
EDIT – only just saw your post CG…. he’s old, well 4-5 years older than me and i call him uncle to wind him up! CG… would you like to come too? TSY will tow you if it all gets too much 😉
TheSouthernYetiFree MemberYeah, I’m 31 and don’t even get a free bus pass 😥
I’m there Papa!
Niiiiicole??
PaaaaaPA?
TorminalisFree MemberCAN YOU?!
Of course, I used to live in Bagshot and ride there every day, innit. Sick.
MarkieFree MemberAwesome original post.
Nothing to add to the above. Good luck!
TorminalisFree MemberTimothius, sorry for the hijack, we do our best to ensure that Phils sexy parties do not overflow onto every thread!
That said, if you do fancy coming for a ride that is completely devoid of mad skilz, big air and judgement for a day of getting muddy in Swinley then it would be a pleasure to have you along. Wont be for a week or two but it would be mine/our pleasure.
philconsequenceFree Member🙂 have to say that you original post will ring a lot of bells with people… please don’t feel alone, it took taking up riding in summer to get me out in the evenings and on the weekends after i found myself getting sucked into a routine of waking up – going to work – coming home – going to bed – repeat…. would make up the lamest excuses to avoid going out anywhere because it became harder and harder to relate to people my age. very easy to end up in that situation.
same for my buddy who comes out with me and the other-half, ten years in a relationship that broke up, ended up living in his room with no life other than me visiting him… riding got him out and about too 🙂
hope the thread hasn’t scared you off buddy, you’d be more than than welcome to join us on a ride (it’d be the first time i meet Torm, CG and TSY too so not a cliquey group in any way)
cinnamon_girlFull MemberEcho what Phil says. None of us take ourselves too seriously – it’s easy to be shouty on a Forum! I’ve met some fantastic people from here on various Forum Rides, it’s all about having a laugh. 8)
People just accept you for what you are, you like riding bikes and that’s all that matters.
TheSouthernYetiFree MemberNone of us take ourselves too seriously
Wait ’til you see my pre-ride stretching routine…
cinnamon_girlFull MemberOh, you’ve torn yourself away from trashy X Factor have you? 🙄
Well, you can hide behind a bush. You’re not with the cool gang – we only fettle, admire and eat before a ride. 😉
timothiusFree MemberWoops, didn’t realise there was a page 2 to this thread…
The Swinley ride sounds brilliant. I’m actually in Haslemere and work in Guildford but I’ve looked up Bracknell and getting there should be no problem at all. I would very much welcome the opportunity to come along.
A week or two for the ride is perfect – the rear mech on my bike is currently broken so that should give me some time to get the bike ship shape.
Looking forward to seeing everyone there – sounds like an experience.
Thanks all for the suggestions and support.
TheSouthernYetiFree Memberhaha, I’m not really watching X-Factor. Just couldn’t resist posting about 2 STW fav’s. I couldn’t let it be, as they say. 😉
Pah I don’t even fettle. I have been known to get a couple of hundred meters into a ride and realise I’ve not done up half the bolts on whatever I last fitted.
StefMcDefFree MemberGet a dog.
One of the unforeseen consequences of becoming a dog owner for me was admittance to Dog Club. All these people out walking their dogs who were previously invisible to me, and I to them, suddenly became people I chat regularly to.
Only thing is, I don’t actually know any of their names. Only their dog’s names. it’s like when you go out mountain biking with a group of folk and you remember them as “big, tall fella on a Cannondale”, wee fat guy on a Trek” and so on and so forth.
But quite apart from the companionship you get from the animal itself, it does put you into the orbit of a whole range of people you wouldn’t otherwise talk to.
atlazFree MemberTimothius – A bunch of us ride most weekends somewhere around the Downs or Surrey Hills. We’re a mixed bag of ability and fitness and “outsiders” are more than welcome. Drop me an email if you want to come along (there’s a ride tomorrow AM as well).
philconsequenceFree Memberright, time to take charge and nominate a weekend and start some discussions 😀
sat 4th or sunday 5th December… which would people prefer?
now i’ve noticed that a lot of weekend rides seem to be planned for early start times but i dont think that’s going to be the best idea if TSY is coming down from diddumscot..
how would people feel about a 12 or 1pm start time from the look out?
I’ll warn you all now: i will in the spirit of a beginners/gentle/nothing-too-serious-ride be wearing full on downhill pyjamas 😀 i will ride a carrera from halfords and i will make sure any bike snobs out there will be mortally offended by my blatant disregard for the unwritten rules of MTB.
cinnamon_girlFull MemberWell done Phil for organising. Am hardly riding at the moment so doubtful I could make it … but could meet up with everyone at the Cafe?
Bear in mind that by soon after 3pm it will be getting dark, an earlier start may be better? His Awesomeness will just need to avoid dating the night before. 😉
philconsequenceFree MemberC_G you’re correct about the pesky darkness creeping in… maybe meet at 11:40 for fettling, pumping up tyres, admiring my pyjamas and then setting off to ride at 12?
TheSouthernYetiFree MemberOoooh. I can do early but not on the 4th as I’m Xmas partying the night before. I’m often in Wales by 9ish on a weekend to indulge in a bit of biking, so whatever time suits others… unless it’s the Saturday, in which case 12, earliest.
Oh and I only work in Diddumscot, I have to live within a mile of a Waitrose which means I’m even further away.
CharlieMungusFree MemberIf you are near Guidford, get along to the university and see what clubs and societies you might join
sweepyFree MemberBiking and yoga complment each other well as activities, and as a tool for building a rounded social circle.
singletrackmindFull MemberOr come for a mince with me and Dezb. We are really old and slow and rubbish , but the banters good. I drive as Dez is clueless with directions. You wont meet any sexy young ladeees , but if you go out in G’ford enough you will eventually.
I used to live in Godalming , and there were a few cliquey places in guildford which would be intimidating.
I do pretty much the same as you , work a bit too much . 1 week off in nearly 2 years .
Get yourself on the THT super tuesday night rides, they have the best riding and are a good bunch.buzz-lightyearFree MemberThe funny thing is, you get to a point when you think: I’m wasting my little life and it’s about time I had some fun. Perhaps you are thinking this. I’m an anti-social bod so if I want to do something, I do it on my own. And you know what? It’s not so bad only having to manage you own expectations, and being self-reliant. So yes, go places and do stuff that pleases you. For example, I got fed up waiting for my two cycling friends to commit to riding Snowdon. So sodit, I just went up and did it one evening this summer.
On the social front, I find that like-mindedness and structure helps me a lot in coping with people. What I mean it is: an event where interactions are governed by rules that everyone can follow. Some examples: fitness classes, board game groups, group cycles etc. Informal parties where I don’t know many people, I find the most challenging. So if you want to develop friends, try something like a fitness class or a cycle club and be patient.
Good luck
TheSouthernYetiFree Membersingeltrackmind – do you know the way to Swinely? Bring DezB… it’s the stuff dreams are made of…
TorminalisFree MemberGame on, Saturday or Sunday is fine with me, not that I won’t have to cancel some very impressive and important prior engagements. I know Will and Kate will be gutted.
Lookout carpark, pink carnation under the clocktower?
philconsequenceFree MemberTSY +1 singletrack and DezB…. come join us! 🙂
me and mrsconsequence are cool for either day, she’s excited about meeting everyone from “motorbike world” as she’s started calling it to wind me up 😆
philconsequenceFree Memberjust a quick note to anyone who might be heading down there today, will be riding from ze lookout at 1pm… if you wanna join then just look out for just look out for the couple wearing full DH pyjamas on carreras… me = grey helmet, her equals white helmet. if you think its us.. chances are it is (nobody else has the guts to look so stupid) so say hi 🙂
timothiusFree Membersat 4th or sunday 5th December are fine for me too. Not sure where anything is though… I’ll be the squirt on a Maxlight in non cycling clothes.
singletrackmind: Thanks for the offer – sounds fun! Should be good seeing everyone in Bracknell as well.
StefMcDef: I have considered getting a dog but it would not really be fair on it as I would be out most of the time.
philconsequenceFree Memberhey tim!!
the plans for the ride have been developed
all info is now on:
THIS THREADreally would be great to meet you 🙂
singletrackmindFull MemberTimo. I can pick you up on the way there ,if you like. Might have to both wheels off , but we should get 3 bikes and blokes and kit in a passat estate.
Say 11.00am ?
Up to you mate .timothiusFree Membersingletrackmind: Thanks for the offer! Just to confirm that I’m in Haslemere, so please don’t worry if it is out of your way. I can drive there, but getting a lift would be great to learn the route. (Plus it sounds like the car park might be filling up!)
I have a little Ford Ka so my bike has to normally be dismantled to fit anyway. I normally take both wheels off and stash the bike in a bike bag, so I can do that if it makes it easier. (Even then it’s a struggle getting the bag into the car!)
SandwichFull MemberTime was if you were the top poster on here, the nice people at Singletrack would send you a life in the post. It were all fields when I first came here!
singletrackmindFull MemberSandwich.-
Thats what premier membership gets youTimo. I will be coming up the A3 anyhoo, so your kinda on the way
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