im 38 the wife 39 we have a 3 year old daughter.

we have no intention whatsoever to have another, it makes me laugh the pressure through advertising, friends, family have put us under to ‘have another’, if i had a pound everytime somebody has said to us “so then when you having another” – where is the rule that states YOU MUST HAVE MORE THAN ONE CHILD!?

we did talk about another initially but we are in no financial or mental state to have another, it has been hard and if im being totally honest if we were both 10 years younger we may have thought about it a bit more.

its each to their own, i know friends who have been on their arse skint and banged out a few more and struggled even more, to the point of having to virtually beg for help.

i guess with an only child you have to be careful not to spoil them and you don’t have the arguments or for want of another word the hassle of fight etc.

My wife does worry that our daughter may be lonely but we have a very large close group of friends with kids of similar age so she wont go without, also you can tell she is not going to be a shrinking violet!

I’m an only child. As Cougar said, it only really bothered me on holidays, other than that I only really saw my friends squabbling with their siblings so don’t feel I’ve missed much.

When me and MrsV were talking about kids I wanted 1 at most, she wanted 2. Once we had 1 MrsV was happy that that was enough and we’ve left it at that.

MiniV often requests a sister, which breaks my heart a little, but now she’s 6.5, she’d be almost 10 by the time a sister/brother was out of nappies so I doubt it’d be as much fun as she thinks it would be…

Always.wanted 2. Mrs tenfoot is one of 3, i am one of 2.

Fortunately we have one of each , otherwise i think we might have had 3.

My patience wouldn’t stretch that far.

Having one of each is great. They don’t always play well, but i get to experience different things through each child.

Don’t regret it for a minute even though my 2nd born is often a little monkey.

really interesting, and personally a pertinant thread. we’ve only 1 child, and it seems that for whatever reason we can’t have any more. We’ve had quite a lot of chats about what the impact will be on our daughter if she’s any only child.
Interesting that no-one has mentioned adopting, as this is what we’re considering. Maybe that’s for a different thread altogher…

they like to be the centre of attention, find criticism hard to take, need a lot of affirmation regarding what they are doing, and is it the “best”. They have been developed in a very ego-centric world so sharing and empathy with others doesn’t come naturally.

I’m an only child and an only grandchild. The above sums me up pretty well.

It shouldn’t be surprising to hear then that I feel somewhat hard–done–to as my parents are divorced, meaning I’ll have the double whammy of twice the care responsibilities when they reach old age, and nobody with which to share the workload. Bonza.

we have two kids – aged 6 and 2.5.
The age gap should have been smaller but my wife lost a baby after her car was hit by a van driver who was on the phone.

Her last preganancy was a nightmare, and the delivery was the stuff of TV hospital dramas (google ‘Ruptured Uterus during delivery’ – a 1 in 300 chance that both mother and baby survive – and both did)
we don’t want to risk another pregnancy so 2 kids is enough.

I have a brother – he’s 4 years younger than me (i’m 40)
He has terminal Cancer.
I don’t want to be an only child.

One child policy should be law globally. Replacement rate in this day and age where things are obviously **** environmentally is a continuation of the insanity and selfishness that got us here in the first place.

Only child here and so is my missus- I think it helps us understand each other a bit more and I never wanted a sibling growing up.
My Children with my first wife are over 20 now but my partner and I have a two year old, we would have a sibling but feel its best we dont- I’m 45 and she is 42 so technically I think we were bloody lucky to pop out our little un with no issues so will leave it at 1, I suppose she is classed as an only child.
But when we get old we will be soooo rich i tell ya 8)

I’m an only child. My parents always made a huge effort for me to have lots of friends around and to make sure I was super-sociable, which I think has probably left me with no qualms about meeting new people / striking up conversations with anyone random!!

I never wished I had siblings as a child, although I have as an adult. When my Mum died last year it REALLY hit home that there was nobody to share the horrible situation and the pain with. It was just me. No matter how much friends said they would help in any way (and I know they would) there was nobody else going through the same experience, and that was hard.

Hey ho – I guess that’s just the way the cookie crumbles though 🙂

For what it’s worth, if i’m ever lucky enough to have children I would always try to have more than one. I wouldn’t want to be responsible for my child being all alone like that having lost a parent.

I am exactly the same as monkey boy on a year older.
Although I am now worried anagallis junior might turn out to be a …………… Moderator 😥

My 5 minutes of peace this afternoon…

I struggle to think of more than a handful of folk that experienced positive sibling relationships in childhood..

seems like an unnecessary trauma to me..

Um, is it really?
I’m intrigued. Are there genuinely people out there in functioning relationships who have one kid (intentionally) and then have trouble deciding whether to stick at one or not.
I’m amazed.

Very much so. Number 1 is 14 weeks old. It’s been an incredible journey so far but I’m happy with one. My wife seems to be hankering after another so we are just discussing that one now !

There is a lot of research available on the internet re only children. A good start is to search “Birth Order” and go from there. You position in the pack will also tend to mould your personality …

Gf is an only child of only child parents. They’re both lawyers or something like that, live in massive 5 bedroom house. Gf was sent to boarding school, and only on pleading was she sent to normal school to do her A levels. Frankly the fact that she can be in normal society is a surprise!!

She can be (sorry Hun) a bit controlling, a bit self centred and a bit of of a huff monster when she wants to be. 😆

I’m an only child and would probably make an interesting psychological study.

I’m very independent, maybe not so caring, although my wife might disagree. But on the whole I don’t think it has made any real difference to me.

I think parenting makes more of a difference than whether or not you have siblings. My wife has 2 sisters, they have a great bond, but they don’t always get along and tears can often be involved so there are positives and negative to both.

Both my parents were only childs. I had a sister who died, so I’m also effectively an only child.
I sometimes think it would be nice to have aunts, uncles and cousins.